i loved all your comments and thank you but still going to detox

[[ge...]]

i almost feel like a hyprecondriac but the last two days have been hell..I have never had chest pain and tightness and indigestion where i cant even burp to relieve it/// I am eating right and no coffee and no sugar and everything i am meant to do yet still i am being beaten, so today i said that is it i am going to a private detox centre as i am privately covered for 28 days starting next Tuesday..It is the best in Melbourne Australia and in that time i am getting off Valium which i am down to 10 milligram and they want me off my antidepressant as well which is 30 mill of lexapro so i am probably in for hell... The reason is i live alone and have no real support bar this great site and i don't work...I try to walk and try to keep occupied and going to a special person that has done a weening programme for me, but i am going through with drawl..I was already on withdrawal before i started weening so even though it is slow to get off what i don't understand if you already in tolerance and getting with drawls how can you get better,,,So i need my life back... I am going straight from the detox clinic to a health retreat that then works on my mind as i believe that has a lot to do with why i am in the predicament i am in... I do have a real chronic illness which only adds to the anxiety and had a car accident in march which i thought i was going to die so all of this plus no job and being alone has really taken its toll.BELIEVE it or not for 14 years i went around Australia doing motivational sessions for the car trade as i was a well recognised trainer and thrived on being the best..Now i cant even look at my dog and feel worthless... Don't worry never thought of dark thoughts like suicide or ending it as i feel 1, that is selfish for anyone else in your life and 2, it ain't me...

I love this site and can assure if all goes to plan i will be here for any support i can give any one as i know the next 45 to 50 days of my life may be hell but i am supervised and not alone and trust these professionals as it is not just getting off these drugs it is reprogramming your self for the future and i do need help..I know there are people a lot worse of than me on here and have taken harder benzos and i really empathise the pain you are going through, but i also feel lonely and very depressed.

[[fl...]]

Good luck with the detox. Coming off of 10mg of Valium in 28 days plus an a/d you are surely in for a ride but you have to do what you think is best. I did a detox back in October and I pretty much couldn't breath, see, or hear five days out. I'll never forget that pain and it has probably scarred me for life. Thankfully I reinstated at five days and did a slow, sensible taper. It was no walk in the park but my landing has been smoother than ct for sure.

 

Hope everything works out for you, everyone is different so you never know. BB's will be here to support you when you get out. Take care 

 

Jeff M.

[[ge...]]

i know it will be hell, but it is over 28 days and while detoxing they have a full plan with phycologists and phyciatrists and fully supervised..I am going through hell now and sick of not living and totally hermitizing myself from the world..I cant beleive they would do that to you over 5 days and then just leave you out to dry..I have heard a lot of night mare things about detox centre but in australia these private hospitals charge the private health care a fortune and they gotta get results to make basically a new person... My health care cost me 280 a month and bugger it i am going to use it,,, time for me to get better

[[mi...]]

i almost feel like a hyprecondriac but the last two days have been hell..I have never had chest pain and tightness and indigestion where i cant even burp to relieve it/// I am eating right and no coffee and no sugar and everything i am meant to do yet still i am being beaten, so today i said that is it i am going to a private detox centre as i am privately covered for 28 days starting next Tuesday..It is the best in Melbourne Australia and in that time i am getting off Valium which i am down to 10 milligram and they want me off my antidepressant as well which is 30 mill of lexapro so i am probably in for hell... The reason is i live alone and have no real support bar this great site and i don't work...I try to walk and try to keep occupied and going to a special person that has done a weening programme for me, but i am going through with drawl..I was already on withdrawal before i started weening so even though it is slow to get off what i don't understand if you already in tolerance and getting with drawls how can you get better,,,So i need my life back... I am going straight from the detox clinic to a health retreat that then works on my mind as i believe that has a lot to do with why i am in the predicament i am in... I do have a real chronic illness which only adds to the anxiety and had a car accident in march which i thought i was going to die so all of this plus no job and being alone has really taken its toll.BELIEVE it or not for 14 years i went around Australia doing motivational sessions for the car trade as i was a well recognised trainer and thrived on being the best..Now i cant even look at my dog and feel worthless... Don't worry never thought of dark thoughts like suicide or ending it as i feel 1, that is selfish for anyone else in your life and 2, it ain't me...

I love this site and can assure if all goes to plan i will be here for any support i can give any one as i know the next 45 to 50 days of my life may be hell but i am supervised and not alone and trust these professionals as it is not just getting off these drugs it is reprogramming your self for the future and i do need help..I know there are people a lot worse of than me on here and have taken harder benzos and i really empathise the pain you are going through, but i also feel lonely and very depressed.

[[mi...]]

i almost feel like a hyprecondriac but the last two days have been hell..I have never had chest pain and tightness and indigestion where i cant even burp to relieve it/// I am eating right and no coffee and no sugar and everything i am meant to do yet still i am being beaten, so today i said that is it i am going to a private detox centre as i am privately covered for 28 days starting next Tuesday..It is the best in Melbourne Australia and in that time i am getting off Valium which i am down to 10 milligram and they want me off my antidepressant as well which is 30 mill of lexapro so i am probably in for hell... The reason is i live alone and have no real support bar this great site and i don't work...I try to walk and try to keep occupied and going to a special person that has done a weening programme for me, but i am going through with drawl..I was already on withdrawal before i started weening so even though it is slow to get off what i don't understand if you already in tolerance and getting with drawls how can you get better,,,So i need my life back... I am going straight from the detox clinic to a health retreat that then works on my mind as i believe that has a lot to do with why i am in the predicament i am in... I do have a real chronic illness which only adds to the anxiety and had a car accident in march which i thought i was going to die so all of this plus no job and being alone has really taken its toll.BELIEVE it or not for 14 years i went around Australia doing motivational sessions for the car trade as i was a well recognised trainer and thrived on being the best..Now i cant even look at my dog and feel worthless... Don't worry never thought of dark thoughts like suicide or ending it as i feel 1, that is selfish for anyone else in your life and 2, it ain't me...

I love this site and can assure if all goes to plan i will be here for any support i can give any one as i know the next 45 to 50 days of my life may be hell but i am supervised and not alone and trust these professionals as it is not just getting off these drugs it is reprogramming your self for the future and i do need help..I know there are people a lot worse of than me on here and have taken harder benzos and i really empathise the pain you are going through, but i also feel lonely and very depressed.

 

Genuninehonest, Hi, I just posted you but it did not go thru.. Please I need your help badly. Where is the place in Australia? please ket me know.. The fear I woke up with this morning I thought I was having a heart attack. I almost called 911 I am also alone in this  I need bb, and they are wonderful.. I now need outside help also... I have to live for my kids... I will go anywhre at this point.. You said. the place is one of the best.. The retreat what is that  My mind needs it too... I never felt fear like this my life or the whole taper so far... Please I wish you good luck with my heart..  I am reaching out to you Genuinhonest..I need to be somewhre in peace with professionals around also... My hubby scares me right now. The fear though is coming from the K right now...  Hope to hear from you soon... Please write me back.  thank yu so much feel better.... Mishi

[[ge...]]

it is called malvern private hospital in Victoria Australia which www.malvernprivate.com.au

and the health and wellbeing retreat is www.iwhrr.com.au

 

Malvern private is a 28 day programme and is ain't just detox but also doctors phycologists and phyciatrists in private quarters, then i am going to the other one straight after for 14 days..

 

This is guaranteed to change my life and i have done a lot of homework...I would suggest you look up retreats in your part of the world and also detox clinics that have 1 month programmes.

I am commit ed to this to make my life and rebirth myself and i cant go through the withdrawals any more...

 

I hope this helps

[[wh...]]

good luck to you. Let us know how you are doing at some tome OK.

[[mi...]]

good luck to you. Let us know how you are doing at some tome OK.

i almost feel like a hyprecondriac but the last two days have been hell..I have never had chest pain and tightness and indigestion where i cant even burp to relieve it/// I am eating right and no coffee and no sugar and everything i am meant to do yet still i am being beaten, so today i said that is it i am going to a private detox centre as i am privately covered for 28 days starting next Tuesday..It is the best in Melbourne Australia and in that time i am getting off Valium which i am down to 10 milligram and they want me off my antidepressant as well which is 30 mill of lexapro so i am probably in for hell... The reason is i live alone and have no real support bar this great site and i don't work...I try to walk and try to keep occupied and going to a special person that has done a weening programme for me, but i am going through with drawl..I was already on withdrawal before i started weening so even though it is slow to get off what i don't understand if you already in tolerance and getting with drawls how can you get better,,,So i need my life back... I am going straight from the detox clinic to a health retreat that then works on my mind as i believe that has a lot to do with why i am in the predicament i am in... I do have a real chronic illness which only adds to the anxiety and had a car accident in march which i thought i was going to die so all of this plus no job and being alone has really taken its toll.BELIEVE it or not for 14 years i went around Australia doing motivational sessions for the car trade as i was a well recognised trainer and thrived on being the best..Now i cant even look at my dog and feel worthless... Don't worry never thought of dark thoughts like suicide or ending it as i feel 1, that is selfish for anyone else in your life and 2, it ain't me...

I love this site and can assure if all goes to plan i will be here for any support i can give any one as i know the next 45 to 50 days of my life may be hell but i am supervised and not alone and trust these professionals as it is not just getting off these drugs it is reprogramming your self for the future and i do need help..I know there are people a lot worse of than me on here and have taken harder benzos and i really empathise the pain you are going through, but i also feel lonely and very depressed.

 

Thank you genuinehonest good luck all the best.. in the world

[Guest [la...]]

and i cant go through the withdrawals any more...

 

 

Hate to break it to you, but you'll be going through the withdrawals a HELL of a lot worse after you leave a 28 day program. I was in rehab for FORTY days...sent home broken and in a horrid state of affairs. Dr. Ashton WARNS about these detox centers and about abruptly stopping Benzos, as this sends the CNS into a state of shock and leaves the patient in horrible torment. Sure, some have done it and they heal eventually, as do those who taper, but I can almost guarantee you that you will be in worlds of physical, emotional and psychological pain by the time you're done w/ this rehab and retreat. I was so sick that even sitting through a group counseling session wasn't possible, I was pacing the halls, rocking back and forth in my bed and begging to go to the ER.

 

I wish you the best...as you seem to have your mind made up about this.

 

Good luck.

Nicole

[Guest [...]]

Not everyone has horrid experiences in detox. My friend got off 4 mg of xanax in 21 days and said the worst symptoms were a bit of shaking and agitation. He felt fine the day he left the place. All of us react differently to this addiction, same as any addiction. I've seen alcoholics of 30 years put down the bottle and walk away from it with nary a blink of withdrawal.

 

Good luck, genuinehonest. Hope you're one of the lucky ones. At least go into it with a positive mind.

[[Cr...]]

All the best to you.  Sometimes I go Samaria about things.  But with Benezo's I got to taper. Currently I am radically changing my diet.  Go to cleanse with fruits and veges.  My weakness is pasta, cheese and Sour dough bread.  So I will be Samaria on cleansing my cells.  In past I experienced -due to insurance reasons running out of Benzo... for a few days.  It wasn't a pretty site. 

 

Perhap this thought may help you on your journey.  That all is energy on a Quantum Physics level.  If that thought helps you.  Use it.  So if you feel symptoms of withdrawals (and thankfully you will be monitored) you can think of it as energy releasing. 

 

Trying to find anything I can say so you feel you'll get through this.  I really wish you the best. 

[[Ho...]]

All the best to you.  Sometimes I go Samaria about things.  But with Benezo's I got to taper. Currently I am radically changing my diet.  Go to cleanse with fruits and veges.  My weakness is pasta, cheese and Sour dough bread.  So I will be Samaria on cleansing my cells.  In past I experienced -due to insurance reasons running out of Benzo... for a few days.   It wasn't a pretty site. 

 

Perhap this thought may help you on your journey.  That all is energy on a Quantum Physics level.  If that thought helps you.  Use it.  So if you feel symptoms of withdrawals (and thankfully you will be monitored) you can think of it as energy releasing. 

 

Trying to find anything I can say so you feel you'll get through this.  I really wish you the best. 

This is good advice, but please be careful about "cleansing" your body while you are still tapering, I've heard that any form of body cleans will aggravate symptoms. I understand you're wanting to make your body healthier, but your body mostly just needs slow time to heal and for the brain to rebuild itself... I don't believe a body cleans would speed up the brain healing, especially when it is eliminating the benzo faster... I could be wrong though

[[ge...]]

 

I really thank you all for your support and honesty as i know it will not be easier, but like most of us i suffered before benzos for many years and have been on anti depressants for so many years i cant remember... I want my life back and really i was going over the past i have not really live for 15 years as i have had so many symptoms just through living it made me get on these things... I want to rebirth and when i see young kids with cancer and terminal and they are smiling and probably gone through hell okus what is does to there family, i can smile as i still get to live...

\

I do have a chronic illness unfortunately being HIV and the weening and anti depressant just puts it all on hold... As i said my origanal job was a motivational speaker and did it for years in fronts of thousands of people around Australia, yet behind the scenes i was very unhappy and on anti depressants... so i was contradicting everything i would tell others...In other words a lye...Here i am inspiring people and i get off stage and nearly collapse with anxiety and panic and depression, and had people coming up to me saying what i said will help them what they are doing..Now i want the help...When i am better i will speak again but this time i am going to become a speaker for con nextion in australion a Benz support group and with the v a c Victorian aids council that speak in senior schools. i when i get better have my goals to help as many people as possible as this site has helped me a hell of a lot..You all are amazing cause with out this site i seriously was getting down and down and down to a point that my mind was playing tricks on me. I feel for those people on worse benzos than me as i know there are worse symptoms, but i am a worrier and thinker and always try to think ahead for the conclusion and if it is bad even though it has not happened hence rottern anxiety panic and depression, even though it may never happen.... Again thank you...  The two site that i am going to please have a look at as it is intensive and supportive www.iwhrr.com.au and www.malvernprivate.com.au

 

[[am...]]

Good luck and please please please be careful of the psychiatrists.

 

If they diagnose you with anything and try to drug you for it, please ask them for the clinical test results to confirm the diagnosis.  Remember that every symptom from benzo WD is classified as a mental "illness" by the psychiatric bible and in your weakened state you might actually be convinced that you have a made up illness rather than withdrawal.

 

Best wishes,

 

Amano

[[pa...]]

Hi Gen... just read your post.  You are making the decision you feel you need to at this point.  What you want as you state "is your life back"... you have real courage.  Blessings to you, my prayers and thoughts of strength will be with you during your journey.  Always, Pattylu

[[ge...]]

I understand what you saying and believe me i have done lots of homework and understand what i am in for, but i am also a believer that this detox centre only takes a certain amount of people and it is bloody expensive... I have reached tolerance with my drug and i get with drawals any way and being alone as i am you got no idea how much my mind gets me into a panic that just makes all things worse....I have been on here a while and the support has been great but the idea of the second part is to really distract me and really get inside my head about underlying issues from the past..I know it sounds like a quick fix but i am very pig headed and this detox and special retreat will not beat me as it is funny , when you invest money to get better, and i mean a lot of money, it sounds selfish but i am not spending the money to fail...

I have the two best places in australia and it is not in the public system, only private with my own room and massages, please look at the websites as they have both been around for a while...I know it will not be a holiday and i know about gaba receptors, but they are playing tricks on me now and it really hurts

[[va...]]

I know it sounds like a quick fix but i am very pig headed and this detox and special retreat will not beat me as it is funny , when you invest money to get better, and i mean a lot of money, it sounds selfish but i am not spending the money to fail...

I have the two best places in australia and it is not in the public system, only private with my own room and massages, please look at the websites as they have both been around for a while...I know it will not be a holiday and i know about gaba receptors, but they are playing tricks on me now and it really hurts

It is a quick fix. Internet benzo boards are all over the place with people that spend 30k like Florida detox etc., and they reinstate to taper after spending that money on detox.

 

Why do you think these boards are here? They do them wrong.

 

You do not understand benzowithdrawal, a massage is not going to take away what it does to a rapid mind that can't slow down. You are not getting it.

 

I'm pming you.

[[...]]

vancouver girl is right.  detox for benzos is a terrible way to do this.  i spent 40k for 30 days in a posh rehab in malibu.  all the massages in the world didn't help one bit after they yanked me off the benzos after less than 2 weeks.  these people also claimed to be benzo experts and the credentials of their psychiatrists is what got me interested in this facility in the first place.

 

looking back, i cannot believe this well known psychiatrist told me the reason i was having visible muscle spasms at our weekly appointment was due to low vitamin D levels.  muscle spasms are a common symptom of benzo withdrawal.  when i got home and i deteriorated, my father attempted to reach this psychiatrist and she never returned any of our calls.  

 

no matter how luxurious the facility, there is no way to get off the benzos quickly without going through hell.  

 

i'm almost 15 months benzo free and healing quite nicely at this point...but i was nonfuntional for a full 5 months after detox.  

 

i hope you are the exception and this works for you.

[[va...]]

vancouver girl is right.  detox for benzos is a terrible way to do this.  i spent 40k for 30 days in a posh rehab in malibu.  all the massages in the world didn't help one bit after they yanked me off the benzos after less than 2 weeks.  these people also claimed to be benzo experts and the credentials of their psychiatrists is what got me interested in this facility in the first place.

 

looking back, i cannot believe this well known psychiatrist told me the reason i was having visible muscle spasms at our weekly appointment was due to low vitamin D levels.  muscle spasms are a common symptom of benzo withdrawal.  when i got home and i deteriorated, my father attempted to reach this psychiatrist and she never returned any of our calls.  

 

no matter how luxurious the facility, there is no way to get off the benzos quickly without going through hell.  

 

i'm almost 15 months benzo free and healing quite nicely at this point...but i was nonfuntional for a full 5 months after detox.  

 

i hope you are the exception and this works for you.

Thankyou L123, and you speak from experience. As do I and I am a strong person. Acute has different levels of severity and some if hit with stronger neurological it is impossible to function. Nor could I, and it was physiologically based, not psychological. I am a runner and I could hardly walk never mind, "think" to balance a checkbood.

 

Thankyou L123. And I'm glad you are starting to feel signs of healing. It's taken me a while as well.

 

If some get off easy, it's because of genetics all the way around on this. And if one has been riding tolerance like you genuine, that is stress enough your brain has already been under BEFORE you yank it off the drug. If you are on AD's, that is also a strain to brain which complicates withdrawal from rapid detox.

 

Things to consider.

 

 

[[Ho...]]

If you are on AD's, that is also a strain to brain which complicates withdrawal from rapid detox.

I definitely believe this is true, and that is why I feel so guilty about taking anything to help me sleep right now (Trazodone). Granted, I did not go to a detox, but I'm in full-blown w/d. Anyway, I think it must also be considered that the benefits may far outweigh the risks, ie. me actually getting sleep every night, even if it's due to an AD, will obviously help me heal faster than no sleep would. Not to mention the psychological torment I'd be in if I weren't sleeping at all. Just wanted to put that out there

[[ge...]]

This has turned into a debate about who is right and who is wrong,,, i personally live by the placebo theory of what i don't know don't hurt me, I think is this case i just asked opinions on whether i should go to a detox, but no matter what i said i am going. yes it is posh and yes i am going to go through hell.Has any one ever had a hip replacement or some very major operation where the pain is so intense that some times you wish you did not get it and yes there is pain medication, but then there is rehabilitation and so forth...

I know that these with drawls and definitely manageable, but then i go back to having anxiety. panic depression... so if this is a placebo let it be mine as, if i go in there and have invested and will not fail.

The other part of my treatment is the posh retreat, but while educating me from 430 in the morning yoga and tai chi, then Himalayan salt room, then one on one therapist, then addiction doctor, then Chinese doctor, then lots of water and Sarine environment, no phones, no computers, only 7 people in building at once so very personal. and it all about getting me better... what is wrong with that....

This programme the first part is the detox in a private hospital but i am with alcoholics, people on all sorts of things, and 4 other patients i have been told on benzos..Pain for gain.None of us are doctors and sometimes i think we look into the chemical side of it too much as i believe i know it is chemical, but i also know it is still my brain.

[[am...]]

Genuinehonest.

 

I believe in you and know you won't fail.

 

Keep your eyes on the prize.  You can do anything you put your mind to.

 

Whilst I cant recommend it, i think you are doing the right thing and i basically did the same and am much better now.

[[BY...]]

This has turned into a debate about who is right and who is wrong,,,

 

and it all about getting me better... what is wrong with that....

 

 

Hello Genuinehonest,

 

I'm sorry this turned into a debate, but sometimes these threads get a little sidetracked. I hope you understand.

 

Yes, it's about you feeling better and nothing else. If your mind is made up going to detox, then I respectfully wish you the best. Remember, when you're finished and feel the need for support, we will be here for you.

 

Please let us know how everything goes.

 

Mike

[[ge...]]

Thank you,

and i do appreciate that all here are wanting to get well.

In my case i don't have a partner and i so wish i had a partner and even one ... one that would understand my situation.But ii have come down from 20 milligram myself and it was hard but i found harder was the horrible loneliness and so forth which i reckon is almost a worst with drawl, and the fact that i think of anything negative like not having the job i had... I need my life back as all you do and will do what ever it takes..I do understand the ashton manual and have been put on that programme by a specialist but i was tolerant when i was on 20 milligram and still felt the symptoms and withdrawals the whole way down and i have had enough... you only get out what you put in and i will do this.. and i know it is not for every one but for me it is getting my life back.If things happen after i get out then the consequences i will deal with... the hospital told me benzos are hard and what to expect so there is no hiding things, but they assure me that no matter what my safety is paramount and the dose i get is still safe.... I have to trust them, I am going on the 30Th and out on the 28 and then to other retreat on the 2ND to the 25Th. If it is a waste of money then i am a sucker, but if i would give a kidney for my child  what price do i have on my own health. For me i would give everything i have just to feel healthy and want life back in my soul so i look forward to every day and every event and every breath...With me at moment i am a hermitt basically,, will not answer the phone hardly watch television, don't read news paper in constant pain in arms or joints and anxiety in chest, i am sick of hospitals thinking i am dyeing and find out it is anxiety.. What sort of life is that..... I am 45 years of age and made a few mistakes in my life, but now it is time to take a real stand and what ever pain it takes i am there

[[ge...]]

What worse can i expect as i got extreme anxiety. flushes, palpitations, vivid dreams, pain in joints, tight chest and sometimes chest pain, head aches diarrhea, no life, and the with drawls go on. and of course indigestion