Windows

[[Te...]]

It's like this. I am trapped in a hole with a huge boulder covering the opening. Just when a tiny light, but super bright, opens and I see what my life should be like...it freaking closes shut.

[[Pa...]]

Hello Teddy, welcome to BenzoBuddies,

Can you tell us a little about your benzodiazepine situation so we can help you get through that opening?

Pamster

[[Te...]]

I was on here before. I changed my name for anonymity.  I wasn't in trouble or anything on here. I just used my own name and thought I shouldn't. So, I'm about 6 months off a cold turkey. I think so. I don't remember. This go round, I've been on for xanax about 8 years. I've been working because I have no money so I have to. It's been bad...movement, head pressure, panic attacks, insomnia, anxiety to the point of hellish terror...you name it. I freak out in my head at work. The movement and vibration is so bad. I really feel it every morning and it's there all day. The only time I don't feel it, is when I'm a moving around. The anxiety at work is so horrible. I feel like everyone knows or thinks something wrong with me. I feel like an odd freak and someone messed around with my brain. But lately, somethings happening. Everything is still the same but i get spurts of myself back..call it a window or whatever...I don't know. I can tell because the movement in my body and head changes. It's like my brain is saying wake the hell up or it's trying so hard to find some balance. I freaking hope so. I heard about neuroplasticity...maybe that's it. I remember about 13 years ago I withdrew also.  After a year I was able to work so I know things can get better but it's when this withdrawal gets so damn bad, it tricks your brain into thinking you are stuck this way. Like now, it's hard to stay positive and know it gets better.

[[Te...]]

I try to talk myself out of it. Maybe they aren't even talking about me or maybe they are. I know one thing...my anxiety is so dang high, it feels like crap thinking this way and being paranoid. I know its withdrawal but it sucks.

[[Gl...]]

1 hour ago, [[T...] said:

I try to talk myself out of it. Maybe they aren't even talking about me or maybe they are. I know one thing...my anxiety is so dang high, it feels like crap thinking this way and being paranoid. I know its withdrawal but it sucks.

Uh oh, the benzos are lying to you.  Don't listen to them.  It's easier said than done though.

Welcome back, Teddy!  I don't even know how you are working right now, but Pamster did it and worked through CT.  It's good to know you are getting some little windows.  Thanks for coming back.🙂