9 months off!!!

[[Su...]]

Here is my 9 month update...

 

I felt completely hopeless at the start of the 9th month...I was in a bad accident and the pain from it and the subsequent pain meds messed me up big time!!!  I was extremely nervous all the time and had terrible horrible insomnia.  I stupidly decided to stop taking the tiny remaining amounts of Trazodone and Seroquel while going through all of that. It was a TERRIBLE idea!

 

So....Just 2 weeks ago I was sitting in my psychiatrist office begging for Seroquel and thanking God for him giving it to me. I took it for 7 nights and slept here and there but the side effects of being on 50mgs of Seroquel were awful!!!  It triggered terrible anxiety and a general feeling of SICK!!!  After stopping it for 2 days I was hit with terrible rebound insomnia. I was out of my mind insane from not sleeping at all.  So I took more Seroquel and then Clonodine..and then Benadryl and then trazodone...needless to say I was in a tail spin.

 

2 Sundays ago (12th) I decided to taper off Seroquel and taper back on to Trazodone..it went well and I am sleeping every night. I realize that I will have to get off the Trazodone eventually, but I am not going to worry about it until benzo withdrawal is completely over.

 

I have felt 100% normal and benzo w/d free for 6 days now...sleeping makes all the difference.

 

If you learn anything from my  experience it is this...if you are taking another drug while in benzo w/d or tapering from them DO NOT try to stop them!!! 1 drug at a time.

 

Also...there is no shame in deciding to take something in order to sleep.  I've been suffering intensely with chronic insomnia for 15 months...I couldn't stand it anymore and I couldn't heal w/no sleep...

 

I know that next week could become a living nightmare again, but right here right now I feel GREAT!!!!

[[St...]]

Congratulations on 9 months off Sunny!! That's a huge accomplishment!  I'm with you on the importance of sleep, and I know it's so hard to come by in wd, but so precious when it happens 

 

You're doing great! So glad to hear you having this window 

[[...]]

Sunny, Congratulations on your giant steps toward being whole and well.

 

I agree, sometimes compromises have to be made. If trazadone worked for me, I'd take it too. I'm limping by using a little Unisom and less than ideal sleep. More compromises!

 

 

[[ro...]]

Hi Sunny:

 

I hope you just keep having wonderful nites of sleep -- whatever it takes to keep those windows open.  I go a nite without sleep and I'm toast the next day. 

 

Hope you recover completely from your accident.  Will keep you in my prayers for healing in all areas.

God bless,

Rocko

[[Su...]]

Thanks everyone...yes compromises...sometimes that's what healing is made of.

[[Bi...]]

Hi Sunny,

 

SO happy to hear that you are getting a break and sleeping!! It's amazing how much better we can feel by just getting normal sleep at night. Im sure later when you are fully healed it will be so much easier to stop the trazodone, I'm so glad that it's working for you now when you really need it. Yay, you are feeling better  :yippee:

 

Wishing you continued healing!!

 

Love,

birdie 

[[Su...]]

Hi Sunny,

 

SO happy to hear that you are getting a break and sleeping!! It's amazing how much better we can feel by just getting normal sleep at night. Im sure later when you are fully healed it will be so much easier to stop the trazodone, I'm so glad that it's working for you now when you really need it. Yay, you are feeling better  :yippee:

 

Wishing you continued healing!!

 

Love,

birdie 

 

Thanks Birdiegirl...yes I feel amazing after i sleep...I'm a bit freaked this morning...I took Trazodone last night and didn't sleep so well, of course Im immediately terrified that it's not going to work anymore and that i'm out of options in the sleeping department...it's time for another session of EMDR! That really helped me when I tried it a week and a half ago.

 

There is so much fear for me still surrounding sleep. Every night when I lay down I am terrified that I will not sleep. That is why I am trying EMDR, to work to overcome the fears and trauma of last years insomnia and seizure.

 

How are you Birdie?

[[Me...]]

Hope ya keep healing and this will all just be a bad memory you will soon forget !! 

[[Su...]]

Hope ya keep healing and this will all just be a bad memory you will soon forget !!   

 

Oh me too!!!  I'm so tired of benzo w/d I could puke!!!!

[[Cr...]]

Hello Sunny, I am glad you were able to get decent sleep and, more importantly, feel like yourself again.  There is plenty of time for you to taper off of trazadone sometime in the future. It seems as though the side effects of being on it are more tolerable than the side effects caused by lack of sleep.  I hope you continue to heal to the point of full recovery pretty soon 

 

Crono

[[Su...]]

Hello Sunny, I am glad you were able to get decent sleep and, more importantly, feel like yourself again.  There is plenty of time for you to taper off of trazadone sometime in the future. It seems as though the side effects of being on it are more tolerable than the side effects caused by lack of sleep.  I hope you continue to heal to the point of full recovery pretty soon  

 

Crono

 

Thanks Crono..I really appreciate your kind words. I am prepared for a super super slow taper off Trazodone in about 6 months.

[[Bi...]]

Hey Sunny,

 

I'm feeling pretty good. Biggest symptom is still dizziness. It comes and goes though. Other than that, everything else seems to be getting much better. Keeping my fingers crossed for my 1 year mark to be feeling totally better, but you know how this goes. Don't want to expect too much so I'm not let down if I'm not totally healed. Hope you continue to get some much needed sleep and that you keep on healing. 

 

All my best,

birdie

[[Su...]]

Hey Sunny,

 

I'm feeling pretty good. Biggest symptom is still dizziness. It comes and goes though. Other than that, everything else seems to be getting much better. Keeping my fingers crossed for my 1 year mark to be feeling totally better, but you know how this goes. Don't want to expect too much so I'm not let down if I'm not totally healed. Hope you continue to get some much needed sleep and that you keep on healing. 

 

All my best,

birdie

 

How is your sleep?  Unfortunately my good run on sleep has ended..last 2 nights have been very rough...I'm so discouarged! I really was starting to think that the Trazodone would keep working...I'm getting more than I was, but not the 7-9 hours I was getting straight through. 4-6 hrs but all broken up..it's not rejuvinating at all.

[[Su...]]

Just a quick update...the last couple of weeks have been much better...I'm finally starting to believe that healing is will happen for me...I'm at 62.5mgs of Trazodone and sleeping consistently 6-8 hours every night. I've been having problems w/not being able to get a full cleansing breath, but i've gotten a break from that too.

 

  Maybe, just maybe I will be a success story at the 1 year mark.

[[Mi...]]

Great update!

[[Fr...]]

Congratulations Sunny. It's nice to hear success stories when one is weaning off a benzo. I take trazodone since a long time. I've decreased it by 75 mg over a period of time but decided not to worry about it anymore until my benzo WD and healing are over.

 

Frannie

[[Su...]]

Thanks Missy..I will be doing a 10 month update soon.

 

Frannie..yes, don't worry about the Trazodone until the benzo w/d nightmare is over...no need to add insult to injury...just heal 1 drugs at a time.

[[Su...]]

Just an update...not healed yet...it's been an up and down month..had a fabulous week of sleep and then it went away...nervous/anxious/fear/apprehensive/anticipation...that feeling is still w/ me and gets real intense at night...I wake up w/it and go to sleep w/it...if I am super busy I don't notice it, so I try to stay super busy. I also still have the thing where I can't get a deep full cleansing breath, but it comes and goes lately instead of being there constantly like it was last week.

 

Still on Trazodone...anywhere from 62.5mgs to 75mgs...as soon as I ovulate all heck breaks loose in regards to sleep...I also started getting a bladder infection over the weekend and got super sick back am now on ampicillen and doing better.

 

I live in my pool to counteract the anxiety...it helps immensely!

 

I am discouraged but trying to be realistic...I truly believed I would be healed by now..I was on Klonopin a long time and did not know that technicaly I was "abusing" it..some days I'd take 3 mgs, other days I'd take none for a week...then pop 4mgs all at 1 time...doctor told me I needed to do whatever was necessary for my anxiety...I had no idea, I was told they were harmless. So I think maybe my healing will take longer because of all that.  :'(

 

I just want my life back full time not part time.

[[Mi...]]

Hi Sunny71.

 

Congrats on being 10 months off!

 

I merged your new thread with this one, since we allow one thread per member on this board.

 

You can give updates, etc. here.  You can also change the thread title if you like to 10 months off.

 

I know things can get discouraging when you are 10 months out and feel you should be completely healed by now.  I'm almost 10 months off and I still have some rough patches now and then.

 

You'll get there!

[[Su...]]

Oh I didn't know that only 1 thread was allowed here...wonder where my other updates are..6 months, 7 months, etc...I try to write these so people who are early off can  see what it's like ahead of them, the good/bad and ugly of it all...lol

[[Mi...]]

Here is the link for the rules of posting to this thread: http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=24810.msg373806#msg373806  It's at the very top of this board.

 

If you like, I can try to find them and merge them all into this thread.  They will go in order by date, so no worries that posts and updates would be out of order.

 

Just let me know, hon, and I'll take a look.

[[Su...]]

Don't worry about it right now Missy...you guys have your hands full...I did change the title of my thread so people know it's a continuous update.