3 Months Sober From A 5 Year Kolonopin Prescription (4MG)

[[Th...]]

Hey guys! First time posting here but I've looked around the forum before I took my sobriety journey and it encouraged me a lot to finally get off of Kolonopin. Just a little bit of background to start off. I'm 25 years old and 5 years ago was prescribed Kolonopin. I started off small like everyone else at a 0.25 dose. Things seemed wonderful for a while. I felt like I had my life back. I was in a really anxious part of my life. I had just moved out of my parents house. Had a new relationship and was also struggling with a drinking problem. (All though my doctor didn't know about that last part.) Months and years went by. Of course my dose needed up'ed too and within a year my dose was up to 4mg of kolonopin daily. That's a monster dose! I always knew that benzos were not a great drug. They did have their place and did help me get through a really challenging period of my life but it should have been kept like that. For years I tool 4 mg of Kolonopin through out the day. If you do the calculations or dose conversions to xanax that's about 8mg of xanax a day! I always had the looming fear that I would be ripped off of it or that I would eventually have to get off of it one day. Fast forward a couple of years and I could tell that the kolonopin was basically controlling my life. I knew about its addictive attributes and that my body would inevitable get "hooked" on it. I wasn't able to travel for that long or even think about moving out of state because I was bound by my prescription. I recall one moment extra sad because my girlfriend of the time wanted to go to Europe to study abroad. What an awesome idea right? I'm young. I can travel, but wait. I have a prescription that I'm tied to like a ball and chain. I had to decline the once in a life time offer. The worst part about it is I would defend this medication until the bitter end. My view has changed on that now. About three months ago I had to go to rehab for alcohol abuse. I've always been an alcoholic but when I had got to treatment they told me I couldn't take my prescription there. Well the 37 day program turned in to a two week program because I wasn't going to let them take me off of my prescription kolonopin. (RED FLAG!) Like I said. I would defend this medication at the time until the bitter end. I went against all medical advise and my parents suggestions to defend this medication. So I went home. When I was home something wasn't right. I googled A LOT about benzodiazepines to see if I could get a better understanding of why they wanted to take me off that medication so badly. Apart from it being extremely dangerous to mix with alcohol I also found this forum, a boatload of articles, and a youtuber that goes by Dr. B, and plenty of other videos that warned of negative effects of benzos. I was shocked at the appalling information that I had gathered on this drug class. I called the treatment center back, apologized, and returned to treatment. This time to get off of my Kolonopin. Now I wouldn't recommend this many but I knew that if I was going to come off of this drug it would have to be fast. I saw all the articles about a slow taper and doing with the doctors help if I wanted to but I knew deep down that I needed to get off this drug fast. I also wanted to be safe of course because the dangers of coming off of benzo's quickly can be deadly. That's why I chose to come off of it in a treatment center. Now I'm not going to say any of this to scare anyone and please do keep in to consideration the time I took to get off of this drug (VERY QUICKLY). So in I went. The nurse practitioner there unfortunately didn't know a whole lot about benzos. She put me on a three week taper. So from 4mg to 0mg in 3 weeks. It was fast. I know. From 4mg to 2mg the drop wasn't that bad. I was taking 1mg in the morning and 1mg at night. I had some rebound anxiety but nothing crazy to be honest. As soon as I dropped under 2mg though, shit hit the fan. I will say for about a month strait I didn't know if I was going to make it. I wasn't actually dying but I sure as hell felt like it. I had anxiety constantly and a whole slue of other weird symptoms. Which I now know aren't that weird since a lot of people on this forum experience similar stuff. I will say that I am so very grateful I made this decision. Yes it was TERRIBLE for a couple of months but now I'm on the other side and I'm one of the people that really the withdrawal didn't last that long for. I know that not everyone is the same but I had read a lot on this forum and was worrying a lot about the whole protracted withdrawal symptoms. The first month was hell. The second month was definitely heightened anxiety and panic attacks. Now going on three months of sobriety the panic attacks have stopped and I would consider my anxiety "normal". Overall I'd say I'm at about 70%-80% most days. I was so worried that I was "broken". That I would never bounce back and that this drug destroyed my entire life at age 25. I do struggle with GAD, a panic disorder, and HPPD.  I never thought that I would be able to live without the assistance of a benzo. I can now proudly say that I'm 3 months sober and living a GOOD life. Really good. I think one of the best benefits of quitting this drug and honestly the most notable thing is that I have my memories and emotions back. I didn't really notice it but on kolonopin I wasn't able to enjoy life like I thought it had granted me all those years ago. Now I can. I have my FULL range of emotions back and then some and I couldn't be happier. Life was so "dull" on kolonopin. I hope that this helps someone that is beginning their journey because I know this forum gave me the courage to actually pull the trigger. I feel free now.

 

Thanks,

ThatBoyRetro

[Guest [...]]

Congratulations, TBR!

 

Thank you… for sharing your success story with us.

 

Very much appreciated!

 

So very glad to hear you are making a very quick recovery.

 

WS

[[jo...]]

Hey guys! First time posting here but I've looked around the forum before I took my sobriety journey and it encouraged me a lot to finally get off of Kolonopin. Just a little bit of background to start off. I'm 25 years old and 5 years ago was prescribed Kolonopin. I started off small like everyone else at a 0.25 dose. Things seemed wonderful for a while. I felt like I had my life back. I was in a really anxious part of my life. I had just moved out of my parents house. Had a new relationship and was also struggling with a drinking problem. (All though my doctor didn't know about that last part.) Months and years went by. Of course my dose needed up'ed too and within a year my dose was up to 4mg of kolonopin daily. That's a monster dose! I always knew that benzos were not a great drug. They did have their place and did help me get through a really challenging period of my life but it should have been kept like that. For years I tool 4 mg of Kolonopin through out the day. If you do the calculations or dose conversions to xanax that's about 8mg of xanax a day! I always had the looming fear that I would be ripped off of it or that I would eventually have to get off of it one day. Fast forward a couple of years and I could tell that the kolonopin was basically controlling my life. I knew about its addictive attributes and that my body would inevitable get "hooked" on it. I wasn't able to travel for that long or even think about moving out of state because I was bound by my prescription. I recall one moment extra sad because my girlfriend of the time wanted to go to Europe to study abroad. What an awesome idea right? I'm young. I can travel, but wait. I have a prescription that I'm tied to like a ball and chain. I had to decline the once in a life time offer. The worst part about it is I would defend this medication until the bitter end. My view has changed on that now. About three months ago I had to go to rehab for alcohol abuse. I've always been an alcoholic but when I had got to treatment they told me I couldn't take my prescription there. Well the 37 day program turned in to a two week program because I wasn't going to let them take me off of my prescription kolonopin. (RED FLAG!) Like I said. I would defend this medication at the time until the bitter end. I went against all medical advise and my parents suggestions to defend this medication. So I went home. When I was home something wasn't right. I googled A LOT about benzodiazepines to see if I could get a better understanding of why they wanted to take me off that medication so badly. Apart from it being extremely dangerous to mix with alcohol I also found this forum, a boatload of articles, and a youtuber that goes by Dr. B, and plenty of other videos that warned of negative effects of benzos. I was shocked at the appalling information that I had gathered on this drug class. I called the treatment center back, apologized, and returned to treatment. This time to get off of my Kolonopin. Now I wouldn't recommend this many but I knew that if I was going to come off of this drug it would have to be fast. I saw all the articles about a slow taper and doing with the doctors help if I wanted to but I knew deep down that I needed to get off this drug fast. I also wanted to be safe of course because the dangers of coming off of benzo's quickly can be deadly. That's why I chose to come off of it in a treatment center. Now I'm not going to say any of this to scare anyone and please do keep in to consideration the time I took to get off of this drug (VERY QUICKLY). So in I went. The nurse practitioner there unfortunately didn't know a whole lot about benzos. She put me on a three week taper. So from 4mg to 0mg in 3 weeks. It was fast. I know. From 4mg to 2mg the drop wasn't that bad. I was taking 1mg in the morning and 1mg at night. I had some rebound anxiety but nothing crazy to be honest. As soon as I dropped under 2mg though, shit hit the fan. I will say for about a month strait I didn't know if I was going to make it. I wasn't actually dying but I sure as hell felt like it. I had anxiety constantly and a whole slue of other weird symptoms. Which I now know aren't that weird since a lot of people on this forum experience similar stuff. I will say that I am so very grateful I made this decision. Yes it was TERRIBLE for a couple of months but now I'm on the other side and I'm one of the people that really the withdrawal didn't last that long for. I know that not everyone is the same but I had read a lot on this forum and was worrying a lot about the whole protracted withdrawal symptoms. The first month was hell. The second month was definitely heightened anxiety and panic attacks. Now going on three months of sobriety the panic attacks have stopped and I would consider my anxiety "normal". Overall I'd say I'm at about 70%-80% most days. I was so worried that I was "broken". That I would never bounce back and that this drug destroyed my entire life at age 25. I do struggle with GAD, a panic disorder, and HPPD.  I never thought that I would be able to live without the assistance of a benzo. I can now proudly say that I'm 3 months sober and living a GOOD life. Really good. I think one of the best benefits of quitting this drug and honestly the most notable thing is that I have my memories and emotions back. I didn't really notice it but on kolonopin I wasn't able to enjoy life like I thought it had granted me all those years ago. Now I can. I have my FULL range of emotions back and then some and I couldn't be happier. Life was so "dull" on kolonopin. I hope that this helps someone that is beginning their journey because I know this forum gave me the courage to actually pull the trigger. I feel free now.

 

Thanks,

ThatBoyRetro

 

Great story.  Well written.  The one piece of advice I would give is to put line breaks every few sentences.  Stories are hard to read if not broken into paragraphs.  It doesn't really matter where, but it helps to break when changing subjects.  Here is an example.  I just wrote a long one here that has breaks.

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=278983.msg3472290#msg3472290

 

Dr B is great.  He delivers bad news but in a no BS matter-of-fact-way.  Congrats on your accomplishment.  4mg is a MONSTER dose.  You have youth on your side.  The next time you go on and come off again it will be harder.  Before I understood what was happening to me I had done it 4 times (low dose, short time each time).  At 3 months off you seem better than me at 4 months.  Likely due to you being young and having come off it only once so far. 

 

Had I known at the time I would have stuck my finger in a electric socket rather than take another benzo.  Please stick around here to provide guidance to others.  Your story is hopeful and worth while. 

 

J

[[he...]]

you are very early out,dont be too freaked out if you still get a bad wave. that being said, you are young, you might heal fast, and be one of those people for whom the terrible ride just doesnt last that long.

 

so bizarre the individual differences... i think id literally would be dead if i took K for a longer time than i did (3 weeks) or in a higher dose (i took 0,5)... its crazy...

[[pe...]]

I find this so inspiring. I'm wondering, how is your HPPD? I have a relatively severe case of it and it was the reason I was put on klonopin in the first place. I'm having some trouble with klonopin right now and really think I need to come off of it, but I'm so worried my HPPD symptoms will come back full force. 

[[Gr...]]

@[Th...] Hello. That is great you made it in a short time.

I am much older than you, so my age is against me. I am curious, besides anxiety and panic, etc., did you have any physical symptoms such as nerve pain, tinnitus, shakiness, numbness and things like that? And have any of them gone away?

I am petrified those symptoms that I have are here to stay. I was taking 1mg Xanax and 10mg Ambien a day.

Thanks. Good health to you!