Weird intrusive thoughts

[[So...]]

Hello folks, new poster here.

 

Quick summary - I got hooked on benzos in 2006 when I was prescribed them to help deal with vertigo caused by Lyme disease.  I've been tapering from 4mg lorazepam daily in October of 2007 till now; I'm currently on 2.5 mg Diazepam twice a day.  The taper from the high dose down to around 10 mg of Diazepam was pretty easy, about 3 weeks ago I cut from 7.5 mg to 5 mg in one shot.  For whatever reason, this drop has seemed the hardest - for about a week afterwards I woke up every morning with adrenaline coursing through me.  That effect seems to have settled down, but now I have these weird intrusive thoughts about things like "is time real?" and what the nature of "time" is.  It's kind of difficult to explain! I knew that I'd have problems with derealization and anxiety as I tapered, but I wasn't expecting to get into some kind of strange metaphysical debate with myself.  Has anyone experienced anything similar?

 

Best,

 

Matt

[[Je...]]

Yes, I had weird thoughts like that and my general personality was very different on the drugs and during taper.  I'm very happy to say that once I was off the drugs completely and healed...I'm back to being me again.  I wouldn't worry about it...it's very classic benzo withdrawal!

 

Love,

 

Jen

[[el...]]

I didn't personally have any of these types of thoughts, but it is fairly common in wd. the cut you made was kind of hefty. 30%!

How much are you cutting now? It sounds like you are using 10mg pills. If possible, it would be better to get some 2mg pills to finish up your taper. Then cut .5mg every couple of weeks.

 

If you can't get anything smaller than 10mg or 5mgs, you can always turn to liquid titration. this involves crushing your pill and mixing it with water or milk. It allows you to make much smaller, more tolerable cuts.  

 

Welcome to BB Matt!

 

Linda

[[TP...]]

... once I was off the drugs completely and healed...I'm back to being me again.  I wouldn't worry about it...it's very classic benzo withdrawal!

 

That's truly comforting Jen. Thank you.

 

Tony

[[TP...]]

Hello folks, new poster here.

 

Quick summary - I got hooked on benzos in 2006 when I was prescribed them to help deal with vertigo caused by Lyme disease.  I've been tapering from 4mg lorazepam daily in October of 2007 till now; I'm currently on 2.5 mg Diazepam twice a day.  The taper from the high dose down to around 10 mg of Diazepam was pretty easy, about 3 weeks ago I cut from 7.5 mg to 5 mg in one shot.  For whatever reason, this drop has seemed the hardest - for about a week afterwards I woke up every morning with adrenaline coursing through me.   That effect seems to have settled down, but now I have these weird intrusive thoughts about things like "is time real?" and what the nature of "time" is.  It's kind of difficult to explain! I knew that I'd have problems with derealization and anxiety as I tapered, but I wasn't expecting to get into some kind of strange metaphysical debate with myself.  Has anyone experienced anything similar?

 

Best,

 

Matt

 

You cut 33 percent in one go. When I was cutting 1 mg from 8 to 7 I had to stabilize for a while because it was too big of a cut. I wouldn't put anything past benzo withdrawal, and so, even though I haven't experienced that specific symptom, I am not in the least surprised. You might consider reducing the rate of your taper which I suspect should help.

 

Tony

[[So...]]

Thanks for all the replies folks.  I think I'm going to hold here at 2.5 mg twice a day for a little while.  Getting to a 5mg dose felt like it would be a psychological victory for me, so I was probably a bit overzealous in cutting.  To continue the taper I'm going to switch to the 2 mg tablets - unfortunately 1 mg tablets are not available in the US. 

[[el...]]

Thanks for all the replies folks.  I think I'm going to hold here at 2.5 mg twice a day for a little while.  Getting to a 5mg dose felt like it would be a psychological victory for me, so I was probably a bit overzealous in cutting.  To continue the taper I'm going to switch to the 2 mg tablets - unfortunately 1 mg tablets are not available in the US. 

 

Sounds like a good plan!

[[tr...]]

Getting to a 5mg dose felt like it would be a psychological victory for me, so I was probably a bit overzealous in cutting. 

 

Hi Matt,

 

You have a huge victory just wanting to get off these drugs and getting this far!   It's important to feel as good as possible while traveling this road, and a tapering plan will do that for you. 

 

Everyday is a victory, it will be over soon!

[[Co...]]

Thanks for all the replies folks.  I think I'm going to hold here at 2.5 mg twice a day for a little while.  Getting to a 5mg dose felt like it would be a psychological victory for me, so I was probably a bit overzealous in cutting.  To continue the taper I'm going to switch to the 2 mg tablets - unfortunately 1 mg tablets are not available in the US. 

 

Welcome to BenzoBuddies, Sorrow Expert.

 

1mg Valium tablets are not available off-the-shlef anywhere. It is possible to have them made up at a compounding pharmacy, but most people find this unnecessary if they have 2mg Valium tablets.

[[bo...]]

Hi

Dont worry 2mg pills a scored and very easy to split

[[je...]]

Hi Matt,

 

I am experiencing crazy thoughts also, the reason I was originally prescribed kolonipin was because of intrusive thoughts. in other words OCD. They were nothing like I'm experiencing now.

 

Jeffery M. Schwartz's book Brain Lock has been a big help to me. If you will Google his name, it will lead you to a web site that has a condensed version of his book.

 

Was your original diagnosis OCD? (I would like to ask that to anyone experiencing intrusive thoughts)

 

Jett

 

 

[[pa...]]

I was diagnosed with ocd after I had my daughter but my other meds are for that and depression. Ativan is for my anxiety.

[[So...]]

Hi Matt,

 

I am experiencing crazy thoughts also, the reason I was originally prescribed kolonipin was because of intrusive thoughts. in other words OCD. They were nothing like I'm experiencing now.

 

Jeffery M. Schwartz's book Brain Lock has been a big help to me. If you will Google his name, it will lead you to a web site that has a condensed version of his book.

 

Was your original diagnosis OCD? (I would like to ask that to anyone experiencing intrusive thoughts)

 

Jett

 

 

 

 

I was originally prescribed benzodiazapines in March of 2006 to help cope with the symptoms of a "mystery illness."  One evening I suddenly developed a severe headache and vertigo, and had a panic attack (didn't know what one was at that point as I'd never had one before.)  A few days later I came down with a fever -  I recovered from the febrile illness but was left with continual vertigo, tinnitus, daily crushing headaches, eye inflammation, joint pain, and extreme fatigue afterwards.  I also had continual panic attacks, sometimes around 20 a day. 

 

Long story (relatively) short, I was diagnosed with a lot of different things.  Depending upon whom you ask now, I either have Lyme Disease, Susac's Syndrome, Multiple Sclerosis, or Chronic Inflammatory Demyleating Polyneuritis.  I believe the most likely cause of my symptoms is either chronic Lyme disease or post Lyme autoimmune disease, as I had a positive Western Blot and treatment with antibiotics has given me a great deal of improvement.  However, I became hooked on the benzos because for a time they were the only thing that relieved the vertigo and anxiety long enough for me to be able to function.  I believe the anxiety is secondary to the vertigo, not the other way around, because there are abnormalities on my ENG and I often have temporary hearing loss as well.  However, I kept upping my dosage, and I eventually realized that the benzos had pretty much lost their effectiveness.  I still have lingering symptoms of my illness, but I don't think Ill ever be able to completely recover unless I'm off the benzos. 

[[So...]]

Just to add something I thought of, I was diagnosed with depression and body dysmorphic disorder (which I guess is a kind of OCD) in the late 90s.  I took Prozac for a while, but it never seemed to do much except make me gain weight.  By the early 2000s the depression and BDD seemed to kind of go away on their own.  When my illness struck in 2006 I felt quite good, was working full time and not on any medications.  I'm male and in my late 20s, just to cover all the bases. 

[[el...]]

I still have lingering symptoms of my illness, but I don't think Ill ever be able to completely recover unless I'm off the benzos. 

 

Hi SE,

I think you are right in thinking this. So many autoimmune type symptoms are similar to benzo tolerence sx. 

Only one way to find out, right?

[[el...]]

  By the early 2000s the depression and BDD seemed to kind of go away on their own. 

 

Since BDD(and resulting depression) is much more common in adolescence, it would make sense that this improved as you left your teen years.

I think most young people have at least a mild form of this disorder. JMO.

[[Pe...]]

Hi everyone. My name is Peter, I just joined recently. I will post more info about myself soon.

 

Intrusive thoughts and memories have been one of my worst and longest lasting symptoms. It started during interdose withdrawal and got worse as tolerance set in. I cold turkeyied ativan and xanax, reinstated and tapered off using valium; I'm now about 7 months off and still have this to some degree. I firmly believe it is drug-induced in my case as I never had it before I started taking psych drugs.