The Truth vs. The Benzo Brain

[[Bi...]]

Hi everyone - after 48 hours in an unbelievable hole, it seems as if this is the battle my mind is fighting:

 

1) I am early in my recovery vs. It has been 9 weeks - no drug impacts you for this long;

2) Symptoms can build for several months before finally diminishing vs. I am worse than when I was on the drug - I need the drug or something else.

3) Life will come back better than ever vs. My life is over.

4) Symptoms are all benzo related vs.  Something is wrong with me.

5) Windows get bigger and more frequent as you go along vs.  It has been weeks since my last window - I'm not like everyone else;

6) Withdrawal is the most difficult thing I will ever do vs. I am healthy and strong - how could anyone not in the best of shape survive this - I must be different - it is me;

7) I believe all of the above vs.  These drugs have been around for 50 years and the medical community denies the existence of benzo withdrawal - it can't be true; and

8] There is a lot of research proving this is true as well as thousands on support sites vs.  None of the research is from the U.S. and a lot of people have real problems not related to benzos - including me now!

 

Boy, what a battle.  I am not sure which side is winning.

Best, Billwill

[[Pa...]]

Just by the fact that you were able to write this out and look at it from a positive perspective tells me you're winning. 

[[it...]]

Billwill,

Yeesh, our brain's must be listening to the same tapes over and over again! Honestly, the only thing that drowns out my internal "debates" seems to be getting outside in my garden for a bit.

 

Hoping it does get better--for all of us,

itzsweird

p.s. congrats on 9 weeks!

[Guest [Fi...]]

Hang in there Bill!

 

I agree that it helps to be in the garden!  I love to be outdoors.  Fresh air and bird watching can be a good distraction from your anxiety.  Try to hang in there!  Don't let those negative thoughts take over.  The positive thoughts are a step in the right direction.

 

Nicole

[[ar...]]

I have been having this exact same debate with myself almost everyday because I have been having the worst symptoms and I am over 4 months off. Thanks for posting.

[[Me...]]

Hey has your brain secretly been hanging out with mine  

[[...]]

I posted the affirmative, healthy thoughts around my house on 4x6 cards. Yeah, the benzo brain is quite the lawyer.

[[wh...]]

youre definitely winning bill! youre asking some of the same questions that trouble me and im sure others too. You are not alone. Just stay "in the game" and im wishing you good luck too!

[[Bi...]]

Thanks Friends - I thought many others could relate to this.  The benzo mind is so warped but very powerful.  This experience is truly unreal.  Best to everyone, Bill

[[Cr...]]

I have been through Ambien withdrawals and Xanax.  (I have had reactions to so many SSRI's) M.D. finally put me on Valium as they think I need for PTSD and Chronic Insomnia.  I will tapper of slowly.  I remember going though Ambien withdrawals.... I hit an all time low signing "Baby come back" (old school song) looking on the floor for any pill that I thought I dropped.  I so long to be free of the strong hold of benzo's.  Yes it helps with Panic but also is like wax over all emotions.  To be able to really laugh and be in moment.  I look to that.  I am so very grateful for this site.  I have saying there are no coincidences in the Universe.  My therapist and I just happened to see the site as I was looking to order a thera tapper for EMDR (a treatment for PTSD)

 

Also..... this quote helps me.  "Once you make a decision the Universe conspires to make it happen."  Ralph Waldo Emerson.

(proof this site popped up the day I said I am putting a fork in benzo's I want my to feel and embrace life then this site popped up.