Windows and waves.

[[st...]]

So I'm about to hit my 18month mark. Every month I have windows and waves.  My windows feel pretty good but my waves are just as bad if not worse. They depression and confusion is intensifying. I'm scared and confused because I thought that we slowly improve. Iv been the same for 18 months. Some good days, some extremely bad. Is this normal? I can't keep up with the up and down much longer

[[Re...]]

I hear you and I am so sorry that you are experiencing this. I am almost at nine months and just have a question if it's not too much trouble to answer. When did this pattern begin? What symptoms come and go and are they consistent or do they change and shift around? I don't see your signature line and would be curious to know your history...I am trying to find some inspiration and the fact that you get windows is amazing. I just had a first one this past week but got hit by a horrible tidal wave today. Akathisia has been my worst symptom.

[[st...]]

Congrats on 9 months. My window a wave pattern has happened since I jumped. My symptoms are dp/dr, depression, brain fog, and many others. They all come and go throughout the day. I can feel different from hour to hour.  Many of my physical symptoms have left but these mental ones won't go. What about you?

[[Pi...]]

I am finding the window and waves issue very difficult to deal with.  At first I was happy just to have a window but it is like I am 2 different people.  There is happy upbeat me who has social anxiety but muscles through it and is making plans for the future and then there is the other me who has wicked anxiety and irritability and is worried sick about my future.  Sometimes I can’t figure out if I am in a window or wave.

 

[[Re...]]

Congrats on 9 months. My window a wave pattern has happened since I jumped. My symptoms are dp/dr, depression, brain fog, and many others. They all come and go throughout the day. I can feel different from hour to hour.  Many of my physical symptoms have left but these mental ones won't go. What about you?

 

Gosh, I wish my physical symptoms would go. I am happy for you that they did. I literally feel like I am getting the wind knocked out of my daily from akathisia and like I am hanging on by a string. I am in constant pain 24/7 from it. I have inner vibration, muscle spasms, and strange skin sensations that are now coming and going thank goodness but also part of it. DP/DR and terror are part of akathisia. I also have tinnitus and hyperacusis and extreme sensitivities to foods and chemicals. I go days with little sleep then can crash. It is miserable. I was put on Seroquel for sleep during benzo withdrawal and tried tapering it and the akathisia got worse so now I am on 28mg of it holding not knowing what is causing what. It is a real nightmare.

[[Ho...]]

I am finding the window and waves issue very difficult to deal with.  At first I was happy just to have a window but it is like I am 2 different people.  There is happy upbeat me who has social anxiety but muscles through it and is making plans for the future and then there is the other me who has wicked anxiety and irritability and is worried sick about my future.  Sometimes I can’t figure out if I am in a window or wave.

 

I can relate! I make plans when I'm feeling good and then poof! The plans hit reality and I can't find it in me to actually do them. My poor husband sees me like this and it triples my anxiety. I'm no longer a good companion. I'm silent most of the time.

 

Lord have mercy. I've been counting on time being the great healer. It's tough!

[[Ka...]]

Hi all,

 

I was a short-term user of 1mg/day Ativan for about 5 weeks in 2020 and I tapered another 3 weeks, then jumped.

 

After 2.5 years, here is what remains for me:

 

Throughout this entire time I can say I only had about 5 total days of feeling back to 100% my prior self. The rest of this entire time was filled with windows/waves…

 

My symptoms have shifted every few months where new symptoms would arise and old ones would disappear…

 

I still experience every week the following:

Tinnitus (2-3 days on, 2-3 days off)

Lightheaded (almost daily)

Dizziness (almost daily, but only few minutes at a time)

EXTREME ANXIETY ATTACKS (occurring at any time during the day, sudden feeling that my body is in crisis, followed by palpitations, increased heart rate, increased BP, feeling super scared that I will drop dead any second, tingling hands/feet, sweaty hands/feet, air hunger)

Chest tremors/vibrations

Head disequilibrium: feels like the ears are trying to equalize, like the tinnitus gets intense on one side, and then I get palpitations like as if the brain is sending weird signals to the heart

Broken sleep: most nights I wake up 4-5 times, but able to fall back asleep… I rarely have a night where I only wake up once or twice… before benzos, I used to sleep 8 hrs straight like a baby…

 

In the first year, the symptoms were stronger, more intense… lots of night terrors, vivid dreams, waking me up and feeling like an earthquake was taking place inside my chest and my brain…

 

The second year I had some chemical brain with electrical storms inside my head, sending electricity to my chest and hands… maybe they were just very intense tingling sensations, but I call them electric hands… scared me immensely… during this time I also stopped many workouts due to feeling jittery and I also stopped while driving due to feeling afraid of collapsing at the wheel…

 

Now in my third year, I can say that the anxiety attacks are to the roof, and not triggered in any way… I have had many sudden episodes of feeling like oxygen was not getting to my brain, and feeling faint, but never fainted, and then followed by the anxiety symptoms mentioned above, with extreme fear…

 

Lately, I have also experienced waves of feeling hot/cold, followed by the extreme anxiety attacks… very weird and very scary cause I don’t see many people actually describing their symptoms like me…

 

I have done all my heart tests, I check my BP daily, and O2 levels… my heart is normal… I think maybe I have developed a chronic anxiety disorder, but I do stay positive hoping I’ll be back to 100% soon…

 

Anyone else feeling like they are experiencing these types of anxiety attacks?

 

Not trying to scare anyone, most days I feel 90-95% well, however not at 100% yet… I always have 1-5 symptoms mentioned above occurring daily…

 

Wishing all a fast recovery 🙂

Karla

 

[[Re...]]

Karla, Thank you for sharing in such detail. It helps so much.

[[Ka...]]

Rebecca, I forgot to mention the following symptoms on/off, similar to yours:

 

muscle stiffness, strange chest and diaphragm sensations, adrenaline rushes, clogged ears, Hyperacusis, Inner Vibration, nostril burning, Numb hands, Sensitivities to sound, morning cortisol rushes… but these occur that often and they don’t scare me as much as the anxiety attacks with dizziness/feeling faint…

 

The shifting in symptoms means the brain is still recalibrating/healing…

 

What I am able to do now that I couldn’t do a year or two ago, is that I have more courage when symptoms hit, and I continue my activities trying to not be bothered by the symptoms because I am more trusting that nothing really bad is going to happen… I try not to let the fear cancel my activities and distract… it helps a lot.

 

Hope u feel better soon 🙂

 

Karla