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BENZO BRAIN--SERIOUSLY...HOW MUCH WORSE CAN THIS GET?


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I know everyone is suffering and it really sucks, but just praying for hope here.  Only 78 days off and the benzo brain is getting worse each week.  Feel like my brain has been bashed in a thousand times and it is literally crawling to the next thought, the next minute, the next hope.  I feel so absolutely gone and just when i get used to managing with it, it gets worse.  So many have told me they felt 50% better with this part of it around 4 months but I'm certain I'm not going to make it.  How do you when you feel so absolutely gone and your brain is a vegetable?  18-24 months of this seriously?  Oh dear God...
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Mary,

 

Who had it like that for 18-24 months?  Most everyone here says they were at their worst between the 2nd and 3rd month, and that is exactly where you are.  Even the people who still have a lot of symptoms at 1 year out say that they are mostly physical ones.  But even they are the exception.

 

It pains me because I know where you are and the w/d makes your thinking go to the worse case scenario.  It tries to trick you into believing you won't get better.

 

I have followed your posts and seen your mental clarity start to improve.  Sometimes other people notice improvements before we do ourselves.  Also you are physically able to do much more than I could at your stage.

 

Please do not lose hope Mar - Do whatever you can just to get through this horrible part of it.  Even if you have to plant yourself on the couch and watch movies for a while.

 

Take care sweetie, I know you are struggling.  I am with you!

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Most everyone here says they were at their worst between the 2nd and 3rd month, and that is exactly where you are.

 

You took the words right out of my mouth. I was an absolute wreck at 2-3 months off but things started improving shortly after.

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I know everyone is suffering and it really sucks, but just praying for hope here.  Only 78 days off and the benzo brain is getting worse each week.  Feel like my brain has been bashed in a thousand times and it is literally crawling to the next thought, the next minute, the next hope.  I feel so absolutely gone and just when i get used to managing with it, it gets worse.  So many have told me they felt 50% better with this part of it around 4 months but I'm certain I'm not going to make it.  How do you when you feel so absolutely gone and your brain is a vegetable?  18-24 months of this seriously?  Oh dear God...

I hope you feel better maranatha.. i have the same issue accept I am weaning off still. cannot remember anything. Cannot focus my brain is shot... You will feel better soon You are off. You will HEAL.  Everyone here on BB knows better.. Everyone has healed.  BELIEVE IT.. tHINKING OF YOU TODAY.. Be Well  Luv, Mishi

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[e3...]
In one more week I will have completed 9 months off and mentally I feel almost all the way back to normal.  All physical stuff here, mainly in my jaw, legs, and arms.  Breathing is getting better but not all the way back to normal yet. That benzo brain is terrible, I am sorry but you will get through it.  I couldn't even remember my telephone number in the early months off.  
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You are still very early into your withdrawal recovery, so you have to give your body, mind and spirit time to heal.
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Marantha,

 

I read all of your posts since we are so close in time frames.  Everything you are experiencing is in line with what I am feeling.  My head has sensations that I sometimes question if I have a brain tumor or something as silly as that sounds.  I always have a constant pressure feeling.  My eyes feel like something is pressing behind them...  It just doesn't make sense.  I do work and try to lead as normal life as I can, but I also feel I am going through the motions.  This week has been especially tough on me.  I even mentioned to my wife that I am losing hope every day that I will get over this.  All I can hang on are the success stories from other people who have been through this before us.  I try to read them as often as I can to try and grasp something that will boost my confidence.  I didn't think this could last a week much less many many months, but hey, we are 2 1/2 months closer to complete healing.  It is sad, but I have started thinking like I am a prisoner of war.  I have my calendar marked at special occasions like 3 months, 6 months, 9 months, etc.  If I can endure a little longer I know it has got to be better.  We can't give up.  We will be stronger in the end.

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Hi - I'm right behind you at two months tomorrow.  I have had a wide range of symptoms and recently started having headaches and brain fog.  I'm lucky that I've also had some good windows but these waves/symptoms seem to get more intense as they get shorter in duration.  From the posts I've read I need to really gird up for a bad third month.  Hopefully it will lighten up after that.  Billwill
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Wow thank you all so much for your responses.  It totally sucks that we can be so horribly weak and feel so demented that we have to cry out for help like this.  I truly hold on to all of your stories because they really inspire me and I'm especially thankful to those who have gotten somewhat better and still reach back to help people like me.  It has been a benzo brain hell for me for almost 2 years now and to think it is getting worse is rather demoralizing, but I know you all have made it, so thank you from the bottom of my heart.

 

Nice to meet you today Rob!  Thanks for the feedback!

 

Love,

Mary

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I know everyone is suffering and it really sucks, but just praying for hope here.  Only 78 days off and the benzo brain is getting worse each week.  Feel like my brain has been bashed in a thousand times and it is literally crawling to the next thought, the next minute, the next hope.  I feel so absolutely gone and just when i get used to managing with it, it gets worse.  So many have told me they felt 50% better with this part of it around 4 months but I'm certain I'm not going to make it.  How do you when you feel so absolutely gone and your brain is a vegetable?  18-24 months of this seriously?  Oh dear God...

 

Be Well marantha thinking of you today.  hope you feel better

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Natron--your history is so similar to mine but I wish I was doing as well as you...you are blessed to be doing so well!  Driving and working?  Holy smokes!  I'm so out of it I don't know who or where I am half the time.  So glad to hear that for you because you deserve it (we all do!)

Take care and thanks for reading my posts and I look forward to encouraging you as much as I can!

 

Love,

Mary

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Hey Mar....I know exactly how you feel. In fact just posted a thread that sounds almost identical to yours before I saw yours. I am encouraged by other's responses to you. You are doing well. Some days I feel like I am going through the motions and I always hide what is going on with me. I have a high stress job and cannot afford to miss work.  Hanging on for dear life and looking forward to being healed!  Keep on fighting!
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Thanks Mary!

 

I always need the encouragement.  Gosh it feels weird to hear somebody say I am doing so good.  Just seems hard to comprehend when every day is an absolute struggle.  This has definitely been an eye opening experience for me.  I can't wait to be healed and let the world see the new and improved me.  I want to change so much.  If anything, this has taught me how much to appreciate life more.  Can't wait...

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Maranatha--

 

I'm not 'free' yet--on long-arse taper from 4 mgs of the Klonopin that I've been on for twenty+ years, down to 0.25/24 hours. You can check my signature to see  what else I"ve been medicated with, in addition to street drugs and booze, for the same period of time, more or less.

 

Perimenopausal. Brain fog to be expected. But this bad? This flippin BAD? I've been looking into early-onset dementias, that's how severe I consider my symptoms to be. My brain is f*&^%ed. I've participated in its detriment, and want it back--it wasn't a bad brain (great band), it had some glitches in the emotional and problem-solving departments, but it worked pretty well at one time, and I'm sorry I did all that shit to it. Hoping there is a forgiveness out there, something other than lapsing into redrugging in response to the grief.

 

With you in spirit--jd

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