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At home liquid titration


[Mb...]

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Sorry for asking the same question that I can only assume has been asked before.

 

I found benzo brains video and like the idea of slowly dropping vs after 10 days making a cut.

 

I know this might work for some and not for others but I think I want to give it a try.

 

I up dosed and switched to clonazepam after a CT from lorazepam.

 

I held for 30ish days at a higher dose then I ever took before of ativan and never had that form of consistency. I was a sporadic user of lorazepam.

 

I noticed after day 3 I was able to drive my car to do small simple errands. I then began a very rapid taper off the .5 and found myself debilitated again. After the second aggressive drop next day I went up and I'm holding at 0.4325 but noticed it right away. Feel horrible but can do one "major" thing a day but I have noticed I feel the up and down doses pretty quickly. I have a feeling it's going to be quite unpleasant the whole way down but when I cut 50% it felt like CT so I'm just trying to avoid this while going forward as fast as I can.

 

For my main question, can I make the liquid by dissolving the pills the night before so it's ready for when I wake up. I find when I wake up I just instantly take my first dose and wait for an hour before it becomes managable.

 

Does the pill go bad sitting in the water in the fridge?

 

!See page 2 for detailed math equation help!

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I just made small batches (enough for 3 or 4 days max), but I never noticed any problems with the last doses. Just my personal experience and perception. 
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Thank you I'm pretty much at home all day at the moment so I'll do them daily. Just wanted to make sure over night they wouldn't go "bad"
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Its important to remember that the pill doesn't dissolve, it disperses which means you'll need to agitate your suspension to insure you get all of the medication.  You will also want to add some extra liquid to the container you drink from to capture the particles clinging to the sides.
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I used a hand held milk frother to mix the pills. Once they hit the water they broke apart almost instantly.

 

After each time I pulled the dose I used the frother again to agitate the water.

 

I then filled the main mixing glass with water I will drink that, the refill with water a few times and drink that. Then take dose one and do the same drink fill shake drink... you think I've got a good plan?

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[cc...]

I used a hand held milk frother to mix the pills. Once they hit the water they broke apart almost instantly.

 

After each time I pulled the dose I used the frother again to agitate the water.

 

I then filled the main mixing glass with water I will drink that, the refill with water a few times and drink that. Then take dose one and do the same drink fill shake drink... you think I've got a good plan?

 

In my own experience, unless we are stabile and ready to resume our taper, the method you use won’t make much of a difference. I was cutting and holding until at 6.5mg’s, which is where I couldn’t tolerate going through another cut and hold, so I switched to Jocelyn’s (BenzoBrains) water taper. By day 4 of the daily micro taper, I had to stop because of the intense symptom onset, and I  realised that I couldn’t even tolerate the smallest reduction in dose. After I recovered, I tried again for the same result… intense symptoms after only a few days. I decided I had to stop and hold for an undetermined amount of time to stabilise and get my system functioning again, so I held for 14 weeks. After that 14 weeks, I felt much more stabile and therefore comfortable in the idea of resuming my taper, so I went back to the cut and hold method, reducing at 5% every 14-18 days, and I haven’t had a problem reducing since, and now only experience mild withdrawal symptoms after each reduction. So while I’m not saying you shouldn’t try this method, what I am saying is that if you find you still can’t tolerate reducing by using this DMT, then holding until you stabilise enough to tolerate reductions may be your best course of action. Your taper history has been erratic, and so, I think there is a question mark regarding your stability, as we discussed recently in one of your previous threads. If you decide to try this method right away, let us know how you fair, and if it doesn’t fair well for you, don’t be overly concerned. Sometimes the only option is to be ‘patient’ and allow ourselves enough time to find a good level of stabilisation from which we can then move forward much more easily.

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Thank you for your concern. I have not forgot what we spoke about. My plan as of now is to hold at the dose I am at until I am feeling more ready for a reduction. This post was more for learning if it was safe to mix the dose over night and it wouldn't effect the medication.

 

I know you've seen me at my most erratic state, just trying to over power the benzo I've learnt that is not the way. I listen as much as I can as well as doing what I feel comfortable with and what I feel is best for my circumstances.

 

I don't think if I dont see some improvement I can make a 14 week hold, at some point I might be forced to white knuckle this a little if I'm one that never seems to stabilize or find any form of relief. I know one month hold isn't a lot but when I did that it was about 50% -75% increase on the doses I used to take. It might be a but more bumpy for me but trust me I've learnt I am not in control while at the same time being in control. A second CT would not of ended well. I have the form and my body to thank for showing me this.

 

One of the big reasons I want to switch to water is currently I was taking 0.1875 in the morning and .125 mid day and night. I'm cutting the pills with a Razer blade and not even able to measure them. So from what I've learnt from you consistency is key and I think the bump in the morning didnt sit well for my following doses. Now I can make all 3 doses even. I plan to hold the water at 0.4375 so I can get used to it, give it time and then when I'm feeling like it's time to try then start. I also plan to hold at same ML removed for a few or more days if needed.

 

I just bought a jewelry scale and for some reason it didn't seem like the route I wanted to take. It's there if I find the water isn't working.

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[cc...]

Thank you for your concern. I have not forgot what we spoke about. My plan as of now is to hold at the dose I am at until I am feeling more ready for a reduction. This post was more for learning if it was safe to mix the dose over night and it wouldn't effect the medication.

 

I know you've seen me at my most erratic state, just trying to over power the benzo I've learnt that is not the way. I listen as much as I can as well as doing what I feel comfortable with and what I feel is best for my circumstances.

 

I don't think if I dont see some improvement I can make a 14 week hold, at some point I might be forced to white knuckle this a little if I'm one that never seems to stabilize or find any form of relief. I know one month hold isn't a lot but when I did that it was about 50% -75% increase on the doses I used to take. It might be a but more bumpy for me but trust me I've learnt I am not in control while at the same time being in control. A second CT would not of ended well. I have the form and my body to thank for showing me this.

 

One of the big reasons I want to switch to water is currently I was taking 0.1875 in the morning and .125 mid day and night. I'm cutting the pills with a Razer blade and not even able to measure them. So from what I've learnt from you consistency is key and I think the bump in the morning didnt sit well for my following doses. Now I can make all 3 doses even. I plan to hold the water at 0.4375 so I can get used to it, give it time and then when I'm feeling like it's time to try then start. I also plan to hold at same ML removed for a few or more days if needed.

 

I just bought a jewelry scale and for some reason it didn't seem like the route I wanted to take. It's there if I find the water isn't working.

 

You have to use whatever method you feel is right for you, and as you say - you always have the scale there as a backup. Just keep in mind that using the water taper doesn’t allow you to maintain a set reduction percentage as your dose lowers, so the reduction will always be increasing in percentage each day. This may or may not become a problem, but if it does, you may get to a point where you have to do the calculations and add extra water to the mixture to decrease the reduction percentage. This is by no means a great fix, as the reduction percentage will again continue to increase each day you reduce your dose, but it may help you from becoming stuck or overly symptomatic from reductions. The other thing to keep in mind is that a DMT is no different from a cut and hold method, in that it calls for holds in your dose at times, because continuously reducing will catch up with you without warning.

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I am interested in this topic regarding the water taper and potential increasing dosage as you go.

 

I have mine set up on a spread sheet.  I calculate at the beginning of each new 28 day cycle.  Now, this may change as I am holding and really don't know how to move forward after.

 

However, I have the formulas calculating how much of a drop there has been by percentage and by amount of medicine in the remaining water.  So, each 28 day cycle, I am aware of the percentage drop with that time and the new mg amount remaining in the water at the end of that 28 day cycle.

 

Have I missed something?  I feel as though I have missed something.

 

 

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[cc...]

Hi Faith

 

It’s best to explain it in terms of the solid form tablet. If your beginning dose is 10mg valium per day, and you reduce by 1mg at a time, your initial reduction will be 10% of that 10mg’s (down to 9mg), but if you keep reducing by that 1mg at each cut, by the time you get to 5mg’s, your next 1mg reduction will be a 20% reduction - 20% of 5mg. Once you got down to 2mg’s remaining, if you cut another 1mg, it would be a 50% reduction in dose. The brain doesn’t experience the reduction as just another 1mg cut, it experiences it in terms of the percentage that is being removed from its daily needs, so you can see the shock that this would cause to the brain as the reduction percentage climbs higher and higher. Can you see how removing that same 1ml every day creates the same issue?

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[cc...]

Hi Faith

 

It’s best to explain it in terms of the solid form tablet. If your beginning dose is 10mg valium per day, and you reduce by 1mg at a time, your initial reduction will be 10% of that 10mg’s (down to 9mg), but if you keep reducing by that 1mg at each cut, by the time you get to 5mg’s, your next 1mg reduction will be a 20% reduction - 20% of 5mg. Once you got down to 2mg’s remaining, if you cut another 1mg, it would be a 50% reduction in dose. The brain doesn’t experience the reduction as just another 1mg cut, it experiences it in terms of the percentage that is being removed from its daily needs, so you can see the shock that this would cause to the brain as the reduction percentage climbs higher and higher. Can you see how removing that same 1ml every day creates the same issue?

 

I should say - this is just about the basic water taper where you remove an extra 1ml from each daily mixture, as used by Jocelyn on the Benzo Brains YouTube channel.

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Hi Faith

 

It’s best to explain it in terms of the solid form tablet. If your beginning dose is 10mg valium per day, and you reduce by 1mg at a time, your initial reduction will be 10% of that 10mg’s (down to 9mg), but if you keep reducing by that 1mg at each cut, by the time you get to 5mg’s, your next 1mg reduction will be a 20% reduction - 20% of 5mg. Once you got down to 2mg’s remaining, if you cut another 1mg, it would be a 50% reduction in dose. The brain doesn’t experience the reduction as just another 1mg cut, it experiences it in terms of the percentage that is being removed from its daily needs, so you can see the shock that this would cause to the brain as the reduction percentage climbs higher and higher. Can you see how removing that same 1ml every day creates the same issue?

 

This is where I state upfront that I am very challenged by numbers.  Just gonna be straight up.

 

I struggled with this concept from the beginning.  I wanted to ensure that I was taking a percentage away from the current dose, not the original dose.  I thought I had managed to do that by the way I set things up (with the help of a friend).  As I said...not mathematically inclined.  But, have I accomplished that?

 

I have a scale I purchased.  What led me to do a water taper was the fact that cognitively I just couldn't get my you know what together.  So, I opted for something less complicated for me.

 

I use 250ml water twice a day.  I drop my .5 mg tab in the 250 ml water.  I pull .5ml every other day.  So, each dose I am starting with a full tab.  I do the same at night...drop my tablet into 250 ml water and pull .5ml out every other day.  So, you are saying that I am increasing my removed dosage more than the intended percentage by this method?  By calculations, it shows to be a total of 1.4% per 28 day cycle...steadily based on the new current dose at the beginning the new 28 day cycle.

 

If your answer is yes, I am going to have to say I give...I can't wrap my head around it.  And, this is where a good ol' conversation would be so much easier than typing this out.  I know this convo is going to be frustrating because this just isn't my forte.

 

I understand what you are saying with the dry pill...but, you are describing taking 1mg off each time rather than the new current dose.  So, 10% should now be figured out from 9mgs of Valium, and 10% at the current dose of 5mg of Valium.  I had thought I had accounted for that.  Honestly, not sure now.

 

   

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[cc...]

Hi Faith

 

It’s best to explain it in terms of the solid form tablet. If your beginning dose is 10mg valium per day, and you reduce by 1mg at a time, your initial reduction will be 10% of that 10mg’s (down to 9mg), but if you keep reducing by that 1mg at each cut, by the time you get to 5mg’s, your next 1mg reduction will be a 20% reduction - 20% of 5mg. Once you got down to 2mg’s remaining, if you cut another 1mg, it would be a 50% reduction in dose. The brain doesn’t experience the reduction as just another 1mg cut, it experiences it in terms of the percentage that is being removed from its daily needs, so you can see the shock that this would cause to the brain as the reduction percentage climbs higher and higher. Can you see how removing that same 1ml every day creates the same issue?

 

This is where I state upfront that I am very challenged by numbers.  Just gonna be straight up.

 

I struggled with this concept from the beginning.  I wanted to ensure that I was taking a percentage away from the current dose, not the original dose.  I thought I had managed to do that by the way I set things up (with the help of a friend).  As I said...not mathematically inclined.  But, have I accomplished that?

 

I have a scale I purchased.  What led me to do a water taper was the fact that cognitively I just couldn't get my you know what together.  So, I opted for something less complicated for me.

 

I use 250ml water twice a day.  I drop my .5 mg tab in the 250 ml water.  I pull .5ml every other day.  So, each dose I am starting with a full tab.  I do the same at night...drop my tablet into 250 ml water and pull .5ml out every other day.  So, you are saying that I am increasing my removed dosage more than the intended percentage by this method?  By calculations, it shows to be a total of 1.4% per 28 day cycle...steadily based on the new current dose at the beginning the new 28 day cycle.

 

If your answer is yes, I am going to have to say I give...I can't wrap my head around it.  And, this is where a good ol' conversation would be so much easier than typing this out.  I know this convo is going to be frustrating because this just isn't my forte.

 

I understand what you are saying with the dry pill...but, you are describing taking 1mg off each time rather than the new current dose.  So, 10% should now be figured out from 9mgs of Valium, and 10% at the current dose of 5mg of Valium.  I had thought I had accounted for that.  Honestly, not sure now.

 

 

 

Yes, you’re right, a conversation would be so much easier, but we have to work with what we have, so we’ll just try and nut this out as best we can  :)

 

Let’s simplify this and do a very short taper.

 

If you crushed and dissolved a 0.5mg tablet in 50ml of water and removed 5ml from the mixture, that would be a 10% reduction. You remove that same 5ml from the mixture the next day and every day after until you are ready to reduce again. When you are ready to reduce again, you remove that same 5ml + another 5ml from the remaining 45ml = 40ml, and that extra 5ml is now more than a 10% reduction from the remaining 45ml. And that percentage keeps climbing as you lower by the same 5ml amount at each reduction. Once you’re at 25ml, the next 5ml cut would be a 20% reduction in dose… 25ml’s down to 20ml’s, and once you got down to 10ml’s, your next cut would be a 50% reduction from 10ml’s down to 5ml’s.

 

Is this making more sense?

 

The only difference is that you’re starting with 250ml’s of water and reducing by 0.5ml’s, rather than starting with 50ml’s and reducing by 5ml’s. But the amount you reduce by remains the same. In both tapers, the reduction percentage climbs (at each reduction) because the same amount is being removed from a dose that is always lowering.

 

 

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[cc...]

Hi Faith

 

It’s best to explain it in terms of the solid form tablet. If your beginning dose is 10mg valium per day, and you reduce by 1mg at a time, your initial reduction will be 10% of that 10mg’s (down to 9mg), but if you keep reducing by that 1mg at each cut, by the time you get to 5mg’s, your next 1mg reduction will be a 20% reduction - 20% of 5mg. Once you got down to 2mg’s remaining, if you cut another 1mg, it would be a 50% reduction in dose. The brain doesn’t experience the reduction as just another 1mg cut, it experiences it in terms of the percentage that is being removed from its daily needs, so you can see the shock that this would cause to the brain as the reduction percentage climbs higher and higher. Can you see how removing that same 1ml every day creates the same issue?

 

This is where I state upfront that I am very challenged by numbers.  Just gonna be straight up.

 

I struggled with this concept from the beginning.  I wanted to ensure that I was taking a percentage away from the current dose, not the original dose.  I thought I had managed to do that by the way I set things up (with the help of a friend).  As I said...not mathematically inclined.  But, have I accomplished that?

 

I have a scale I purchased.  What led me to do a water taper was the fact that cognitively I just couldn't get my you know what together.  So, I opted for something less complicated for me.

 

I use 250ml water twice a day.  I drop my .5 mg tab in the 250 ml water.  I pull .5ml every other day.  So, each dose I am starting with a full tab.  I do the same at night...drop my tablet into 250 ml water and pull .5ml out every other day.  So, you are saying that I am increasing my removed dosage more than the intended percentage by this method?  By calculations, it shows to be a total of 1.4% per 28 day cycle...steadily based on the new current dose at the beginning the new 28 day cycle.

 

If your answer is yes, I am going to have to say I give...I can't wrap my head around it.  And, this is where a good ol' conversation would be so much easier than typing this out.  I know this convo is going to be frustrating because this just isn't my forte.

 

I understand what you are saying with the dry pill...but, you are describing taking 1mg off each time rather than the new current dose.  So, 10% should now be figured out from 9mgs of Valium, and 10% at the current dose of 5mg of Valium.  I had thought I had accounted for that.  Honestly, not sure now.

 

 

 

Yes, you’re right, a conversation would be so much easier, but we have to work with what we have, so we’ll just try and nut this out as best we can  :)

 

Let’s simplify this and do a very short taper.

 

If you crushed and dissolved a 0.5mg tablet in 50ml of water and removed 5ml from the mixture, that would be a 10% reduction. You remove that same 5ml from the mixture the next day and every day after until you are ready to reduce again. When you are ready to reduce again, you remove that same 5ml + another 5ml from the remaining 45ml = 40ml, and that extra 5ml is now more than a 10% reduction from the remaining 45ml. And that percentage keeps climbing as you lower by the same 5ml amount at each reduction. Once you’re at 25ml, the next 5ml cut would be a 20% reduction in dose… 25ml’s down to 20ml’s, and once you got down to 10ml’s, your next cut would be a 50% reduction from 10ml’s down to 5ml’s.

 

Is this making more sense?

 

The only difference is that you’re starting with 250ml’s of water and reducing by 0.5ml’s, rather than starting with 50ml’s and reducing by 5ml’s. But the amount you reduce by remains the same. In both tapers, the reduction percentage climbs (at each reduction) because the same amount is being removed from a dose that is always lowering.

 

It’s just that in your taper, the reduction percentage is increasing in much smaller increments, but it is increasing.

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Hi Faith

 

It’s best to explain it in terms of the solid form tablet. If your beginning dose is 10mg valium per day, and you reduce by 1mg at a time, your initial reduction will be 10% of that 10mg’s (down to 9mg), but if you keep reducing by that 1mg at each cut, by the time you get to 5mg’s, your next 1mg reduction will be a 20% reduction - 20% of 5mg. Once you got down to 2mg’s remaining, if you cut another 1mg, it would be a 50% reduction in dose. The brain doesn’t experience the reduction as just another 1mg cut, it experiences it in terms of the percentage that is being removed from its daily needs, so you can see the shock that this would cause to the brain as the reduction percentage climbs higher and higher. Can you see how removing that same 1ml every day creates the same issue?

 

This is where I state upfront that I am very challenged by numbers.  Just gonna be straight up.

 

I struggled with this concept from the beginning.  I wanted to ensure that I was taking a percentage away from the current dose, not the original dose.  I thought I had managed to do that by the way I set things up (with the help of a friend).  As I said...not mathematically inclined.  But, have I accomplished that?

 

I have a scale I purchased.  What led me to do a water taper was the fact that cognitively I just couldn't get my you know what together.  So, I opted for something less complicated for me.

 

I use 250ml water twice a day.  I drop my .5 mg tab in the 250 ml water.  I pull .5ml every other day.  So, each dose I am starting with a full tab.  I do the same at night...drop my tablet into 250 ml water and pull .5ml out every other day.  So, you are saying that I am increasing my removed dosage more than the intended percentage by this method?  By calculations, it shows to be a total of 1.4% per 28 day cycle...steadily based on the new current dose at the beginning the new 28 day cycle.

 

If your answer is yes, I am going to have to say I give...I can't wrap my head around it.  And, this is where a good ol' conversation would be so much easier than typing this out.  I know this convo is going to be frustrating because this just isn't my forte.

 

I understand what you are saying with the dry pill...but, you are describing taking 1mg off each time rather than the new current dose.  So, 10% should now be figured out from 9mgs of Valium, and 10% at the current dose of 5mg of Valium.  I had thought I had accounted for that.  Honestly, not sure now.

 

 

 

Yes, you’re right, a conversation would be so much easier, but we have to work with what we have, so we’ll just try and nut this out as best we can  :)

 

Let’s simplify this and do a very short taper.

 

If you crushed and dissolved a 0.5mg tablet in 50ml of water and removed 5ml from the mixture, that would be a 10% reduction. You remove that same 5ml from the mixture the next day and every day after until you are ready to reduce again. When you are ready to reduce again, you remove that same 5ml + another 5ml from the remaining 45ml = 40ml, and that extra 5ml is now more than a 10% reduction from the remaining 45ml. And that percentage keeps climbing as you lower by the same 5ml amount at each reduction. Once you’re at 25ml, the next 5ml cut would be a 20% reduction in dose… 25ml’s down to 20ml’s, and once you got down to 10ml’s, your next cut would be a 50% reduction from 10ml’s down to 5ml’s.

 

Is this making more sense?

 

The only difference is that you’re starting with 250ml’s of water and reducing by 0.5ml’s, rather than starting with 50ml’s and reducing by 5ml’s. But the amount you reduce by remains the same. In both tapers, the reduction percentage climbs (at each reduction) because the same amount is being removed from a dose that is always lowering.

 

It’s just that in your taper, the reduction percentage is increasing in much smaller increments, but it is increasing.

 

When I resume, I am going to have to figure this out.  As I don't have a pill weight at this time.  And, I don't know how to ensure I am not increasing beyond the desired percentage drop.  My brain just can't do it.  Not right now, anyway.

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[cc...]
Please don’t make this into another problem to solve in your mind. We’ll work through it together, all in good time.  :thumbsup:
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So I have a few math equations I'll do my best to share here. Maybe a member will see a flaw and bring it to my attention if not then maybe it will be useful to someone.

 

I used the ML of water as the constant as I would be taking out 1ml per day so I would be able to use math to find out what dose in MG I was at and where I would need to hold. This is all based on the simple daily taper.

 

The numbers below are high drop and fast taper but it can be slown down in duration of taper by increasing the original milliliters you start with.

 

Let's say we're going to start with 90 mL of water to dissolve the pills in. For this equation I'm working with a 0.5mg pill.

Since we are removing 1ml of water a day ontop of the previous reduction (1,2,3,4...) whatever ml you start with will determine the length of the taper.

 

90ml = 3 months

120ml = 4 months

150ml = 5 months

300ml = 10 months

 

.5 ÷ 90 = 0.0056 (this let's us know how many mg are in 1 ml of water)

 

0.0056 x 10 = 0.056 (this would be the amount you are reducing in mg over a 10 day cycle)

 

Because like they have stated it is a non-linear drop as you get lower the dose reductions will become greater, therefore overall:

 

90ml/0.5mg = 33% reduction a month from starting dose = 11% every 10 days.

 

I'd like to reiterate this method leaves you removing 11% every 10 days from STARTING DOSE not 11% from your current tapered dose.

 

To find the % out for a 10 day cycle:

0.056 ÷ 0.5 × 100 = 11.2%

 

11.2% x 3 = 33.6% a month. (3 10 day cycles in a month)

 

If someone has decided to switch from dry and has already started tapering but has become confused how to know how much water to remove when they start. Let's say you are down to 0.4375mg a day:

 

0.4375 ÷ 0.0056 = 78

90 - 78 = 12

 

You have already made it to 12ml of water being removed.

 

ML - DOSE

90 - 0.5

85 - 0.476

80 - 0.448

75 - 0.42

70 - 0.392

65 - 0.364

60 - 0.336

55 - 0.308

50 - 0.28

45 - 0.252 (at this point in theory you could use 1 pill 0.25 and 45ml, consume the entire amount but then you would start back at removing 1ml of water the next day)

40 - 0.224

35 - 0.196

30 - 0.168

25 - 0.14

20 - 0.112

15 - 0.084

10 - 0.056

5 - 0.028

0 - 0

 

If you needed to find out what dose it was if you get stuck and lets say you are at 63 ml removed:

 

90 - 63 = 27ml you are consuming

27 x 0.0056 = 0.1512mg

 

If you do decide to use 1 pill at the half way mark and start logging each day forward with the 1ml removal for your records and need to do the above math to find out the mg. Let's say you've now removed 16ml of the 45ml/0.25mg

 

45 + 16 = 61ml removed

90 - 61 = 29ml consumed

29 x 0.0056 = 0.1624mg

 

This is very rapid and most people will not agree with going this fast, I wrote this all down before I decide to slow things down a bit. I just hope the math is easy to use and put your own numbers in

 

 

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[cc...]

Thank you, for going to the trouble of writing that out, Mbenzo

 

I’m sure that will be very helpful to many!

 

Much appreciated!

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My pleasure, I've received so much help and guidance from here least I can do is try to extend that to someone else.

 

It also helps me, after clicking post I reflected on the fact I was able to do that math in this state. Makes me feel not as far gone as sometimes my brain wants me to believe I am.

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My pleasure, I've received so much help and guidance from here least I can do is try to extend that to someone else.

 

It also helps me, after clicking post I reflected on the fact I was able to do that math in this state. Makes me feel not as far gone as sometimes my brain wants me to believe I am.

 

You rock, Mbenzo!

 

 

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Thanks Faith!

Hope you've been feeling well since we last spoke

 

In your words....NOPE!  I am going through it over here.  But, I appreciate your thoughts!  This sucks royally.  But, I am doing this, and will see over time how I do.

 

How are you feeling today?  Are you about the same?

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I've actually had a few good days since going back up. After my NOPE!, and honestly how did I think I'd manage while dealing with the stress from the break up on top. I jumped up but not all the way, today was my first day of water and I was nervous it wouldn't work the same but it's been ok. Interesting enough I haven't had inter dose withdrawals today either. Maybe I better check my math again haha make sure I didn't take a ton more. As you can see I feel in better spirits, I feel like I have a plan, I feel better mentally that I'm not going to attempt another CT.

 

I do have to say "good days" though are very relative to how I was. No-one else would use the word good for how we feel. But for us we adapt to it in ways I guess.

 

I hope to hear sooner then later you've turned a new leaf in this journey. Hang in there, sending healing vibes your way.

 

 

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