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6 year Benzo taper - done.


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I used to dream of this day. I remember reading success stories while in agony - waiting for my turn.

 

Here is my story.

When I was 20 my parents made me do a treatment called TMS.

My high school years were nothing short of a nightmare and I was severely depressed.

On my tenth treatment, I had a grand mal seizure sitting in the doctor’s office.

I was given benzos after to deal with the anxiety.

I took Ativan as prescribed  for three days and then stopped as my fear of having more seizures subsided.

When I stopped, I started experiencing very scary symptoms. (I was dependent and in withdrawal. Yes, just after a couple days use )

No doctor could figure out what was wrong and I was eventually given 2 mg of Klonopin and was told by my doctor that he did not care if I were on it for the rest of my life.

I went back to school and began to feel awful. I called my doctor and told him I wanted off.

He cut me cold turkey and what I experienced I still have trouble talking about today.

I was admitted to the hospital and stabilized on Librium, Gabapentin, and Remeron.

As I left the hospital, my doctor tried to cut my Librium pills by 5 mg.

Once again, I was experiencing frightening symptoms.

I found Benzo buddies and learned of a micro taper.

I found a female neurologist who had my Librium compounded and let me taper at my own pace. She saved my life.

It took my body years to adjust from all of the major cuts and switching around.

There were times I feared I would not make it.

I was in excruciating pain.

I gained 70 pounds.

My Mother showered me.

I did not drive.

Before I got sick, I took immaculate care of myself. I was a proud woman.

Survival overtook vanity at this point.

The whole experience has been dehumanizing.

 

I tapered so slowly because the withdrawal I had experienced was traumatizing.

I stepped off in July.

There was some adjustment (nothing serious),  but I am here to tell you that I am okay.

 

Three years ago I found a therapist who specializes in EMDR. It has saved my life as well.

I have complex post traumatic stress disorder. How could I not?

 

Today at 28 I hold a 3.97 GPA in college.

I take Pilates twice a week.

I attend therapy religiously.

I nourish my body. 

I kicked just about every bad person out of my life. (Highly recommend)

 

 

 

If you are on Librium, it can be compounded and it worked beautifully for me.

I am letting my body heal before I tackle my last two medications.

No cold turkey or major cuts. Slow and steady wins the race.

My body is just sensitive. I do not know any other way to explain it.

 

Here is a snippet of how I tapered liquid Librium:

 

4/6 3 AM - 5.79

4/10 8 AM - 5.78

4/14 5 PM - 5.77

4/18 9 PM - 5.76

4/22 3 AM - 5.75

 

Hold when needed. Adjust to your body’s needs.

 

I am sending love to each and every one of you,

 

Lora

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I got physical dependence on the 3th day of clonazepam... cold turkeyed after barely 3 weeks still messed up 16 months later.

 

Sounds like you are ready to start a great new life! As you nourish your body it should only get better and better. Hope that some day the trauma will fade.

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I am so sorry this happened to you.. how quickly your body takes to it is downright scary. 

Not sure why this stuff is legal. And they’re worried about marijuana?  :idiot:

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