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Thoughts/Quetions for the Women...


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Hello there!

 

I've just come out of a BAD wave this past week...today I still felt very "on guard" and scared that the intense anxiety would return, but I was able to get a lot done around my house and was WAY more productive than I thought I would be. 

 

Now tonight, I am sitting here watching Friends w/ my hubby, and I've slowly felt this pain creeping up.  I have had issues w/ ovarian cysts in the past, but they have been horrible since going through w/d.  I had my routine physical done 2 months ago and was given an ultrasound...where they found several cysts as well as polyps, so I am being sent to a gynecologist in the near future...blood work was done and all is fine there. 

 

But almost every month now - during ovulation - I get these cysts that cause pain.  I've had a couple rupture and ended up in the hospital last year from the pain - that's when I found out I had a ruptured cyst.  The pain was so intense I fell on the floor.  I guess I'm just scared b/c I feel like there's never a break.  My hormones have played such a role in my w/d.  I am REALLY affected by my period...or actually the week following my period.  And then just as I get through that,I often get hit by these pains from the cysts. 

 

Just looking for support from any women out there who experience this.  I know what it is, but as you know the w/d can cause so much fear and anxiety over the littlest of things...and ovary pain/cysts isn't THAT little I guess.  Ugh.  Just frustrated...and would love these hormones to settle for once.  My counsellor said that women have the most difficult time going through detox of any kind b/c of hormones.  If you've had a cyst rupture, then you know the intense sharp pain it causes...and even though I am aware of what it is, I am still so scared. 

 

Thanks for listening...I guess there's no real question there...just needing the support.

 

Thanks a ton...all the best,

Schatje

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I had a history of ovarian cysts and during the w/d I have been experiencing severe back pain and sth that felt exactly like the cysts used to feel like and I was sure it was a particularly large and evil cyst! I even had thoughts of ovarian cancer just to torture myself  ::)

 

I had an ultra sound last week and my ovaries were just fine. So I think this just another withdrawal symptom. I wonder if there is such thing as"phantom aches" during withdrawals - that is one feels some sort of pain one has felt before? I think I´ll post this question!

 

But have yourself checked by all means - to be on the safe side!

 

:crazy:Lexotania.

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Hi Schatje: although I have not experienced exactly what you described, I do believe that I too 'over think' every pain and emotion these days. I am benzo free (just under a week) and I fight through the negative thoughts by telling myself "it is not what you think." Every time I get one of those awful notions I immediately say out loud or to myself, "I am healthy and there is nothing wrong with me. I am going through withdrawal and this too shall pass!" Thereafter, I put my MP3 player to work and listen to some ocean waves or jazz music. Some how, this seems to work for me. If you do this repeatedly, the negative thoughts begin to fade. The key is consistency - every time a notion comes my way I have to counter it with the truth! It is my brain healing itself. God did not give us the spirit of fear but that of love and a sound mind!
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Hello Schajte,

 

I haven't had any cyst issues but I have experienced more intense withdrawal symptoms a week before my period starts.  :'(

 

I hope you start feeling better!

 

-katie

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Hi Schatje:

 

There is definitely a connection between polycystic ovary syndrome and benzos.  I developed what was thought to be a fibroid on my left side shortly after starting Klonopin, and within a year of being on Klonopin the growth must have tripled in size.  I had two ultrasounds and both radiologists said I had a "fibroid" so large that they couldn't see my left ovary.  I finally agreed to have surgery because of the pain this "fibroid" was causing, and it turned out that my left ovary had grown to the size of an orange when it's supposed to be the size of an almond.  So it turned out to not be a fibroid at all.  My gynecologist/surgeon removed it and sent it to the lab to be checked for cancer.  You'll be happy to know, as I was, that there was no sign of cancer at all.  

 

I should have been given an MRI, which is a whole other story.  If I had it to do over again I would've requested an MRI because they can see a lot more than with an ultrasound.  I also would not have had surgery because it sent me into a hormone tailspin.  Knowing what I know about benzos, I would have come off the drug and most likely the ovary would eventually have shrunk and returned to normal.  I was on my highest dose of Klonopin (1.5 mg.) when all this happened and it made me so passive and out of it that I couldn't think clearly enough to ask the right questions and/or make intelligent choices regarding my care.  

 

This is not going to be the case for you because you ARE coming off the benzos, so your problems will resolve in time. It also sounds like you have a pretty enlightened counselor who is very helpful and supportive.  Just know that you're not alone in this, and it's not your imagination that benzos wreak havoc with our hormones.  

 

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