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I don't think I can taper anymore : /


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I've been trying to taper with the "help" of several addiction specialists for less than a month now. They've been cutting me back .5 mg a week, and they keep assuring me this is a really slow pace and I shouldn't be having unmanageable symptoms.

 

But my cognitive abilities are completely shot right now. I've been having major brain fog, and it's the worst today. I can't remember words, I can't remember how to spell things. And normally I'm an excellent speller (I'm an English major). I feel like I have dyslexia. The only reason I'm able to spell things correctly right now is because I'm using autocorrect. Anyway this brain fog sent me into a major panic attack today.

 

Am I overreacting? I mean, I know I'm not. But my doctors are not going to believe me. I can't handle this. I want to go back to 2 mg a day. But they'll just think I'm making it up or not trying hard enough or something. God, this drug is awful.

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I'm not surprised you are feeling poorly with a taper plan of .5mg Xanax per week. :(

 

.5 mgs Xanax is equivalent to 10 mgs of Valium. 

 

The general concensus for tapering is roughly 10% per week.  Plus, Xanax has a short half-life and it can be very difficult to taper directly from it.

 

Some members have been able to switch to klonopin because it has similar properties of Xanax, but it has a longer half-life.

 

If your doctor's wish for you to continue a Xanax taper, would they be willing to consider slowing it down?  Even if they could change your cuts to .25mgs every week, or better yet, .125 mgs every week, this would be much, much easier on your body and brain.

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Wow, no wonder you're feeling horrible, Missy is right, that's a pretty big drop. After I ct'd I forgot how to spell simple 3 and 4 letter words and that scared me, it has pretty much come back now so don't worry that you've lost it.

 

Can you ask you doctor to switch you to Valium or even Klonopin? It may be a lot easier for you to taper from either one of those drugs since they last longer. I hope you can get your doctor to work with you.

 

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They won't switch me to anything else because I'm pregnant. I talked to a high risk OB and he said not to worry about using xanax while pregnant though. I have suggested tapering more slowly, and they agreed to a .25 mg drop per week instead, but I feel like I've hit a wall and I can't keep going. I haven't stabilised on 1.5 mg even though they gave me an extra week. Things just seem to be getting worse. Is going back up to 2 mg a bad idea? I don't even know if they'd go for that idea, but I can't take another day like today.
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Are they trying to do a fast taper because of the pregnancy? is so, you may not be able to avoid some uncomfortable wd symptoms.
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You're just like all of us, trying to balance symptoms with the goal to become benzo free. All of us here know without a shadow of a doubt that what you're saying is right. It's too fast!

 

Keep advocating for yourself. Help the MDs understand that in order for you to keep encouraged, the taper has to go more slowly. It's a scary process and the alternative is to give up trying, isn't it?

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They won't switch me to anything else because I'm pregnant.

 

In light of your pregnancy I can now understand why you are doing such a rapid taper.  I would have to defer to the medical professionals on this one, as the safety of your unborn child is now also a factor.

 

Hang in there.

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They're actually going more slowly because of the pregnancy. They've told me if I weren't pregnant, they'd probably have done it even faster. But I think the whole reason they want me to stop in the first place is because I am pregnant. Which is understandable, but my OB said I could stay on it and that the anxiety and panic attacks are probably worse than taking the xanax.

 

I don't know, it's kind of a mess :/. One doctor says one thing, and another says something completely different.

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when I got avice from many sources, I was very confused.  It's your taper, ultimately, it' s your decision.
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Poor girl....I have been there..xanax.... Tried several times to taper it...    was awful tapering...and that fast..  oh my..your poor brain...  I feel so bad for you.... and being pregnant..  Prayers for you  :angel:   
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[05...]

How far along are you Free?

 

They're actually going more slowly because of the pregnancy. They've told me if I weren't pregnant, they'd probably have done it even faster. But I think the whole reason they want me to stop in the first place is because I am pregnant. Which is understandable, but my OB said I could stay on it and that the anxiety and panic attacks are probably worse than taking the xanax.

 

I don't know, it's kind of a mess :/. One doctor says one thing, and another says something completely different.

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[05...]

I want to share something with you Free. 

 

I feel in a way it is my responsibility to do this for the sake of an unborn child.  I am not trying to scare you at all, but feel I must tell you what happened to my son.  I hope nobody gets mad at me if I scare you.  I hope you don't get mad at me.  I have been taking Klonopin for about 15 years.  I was taking 1 mg. of Klonopin when I got pregnant.  I asked my ob if this was ok.  no problem he said. Then I asked the phychiatrist. no problem he said.  Wonderful pregnancy. 

 

3 weeks after my son was born, I went to a meeting and left him with my Mother.  I got a phone call and my Mother told me that he had stopped breathing.  She picked him up and blew in his face and he started breathing again.  I left the meeting immediately, and went and got him and took him to to ER.  They kept him and monitored him overnight to see if he had sleep apnea.  he did not.  they released him the next day.

It wasn't too long after that (and always right on time) every night at 7:00 he would start crying, and would not stop until 4 a.m.  NON STOP.  for 8 months.  I had him at the pediatrician several times.  They ran so many test.  All came back normal.  Not to worry they said, it's colic. 

I tried everything.  for colic, I had him bouncing on the dryer in his car seat (with me with him of course) rode around for hrs, etc.  NOTHING would stop the crying except 4 a.m.  the magical hour.  He slept in his car seat right beside my bed for months.  I had him in that to keep his head up just in case he did have apnea.  nine hours non stop. 

 

 

It finally stopped.

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[05...]

I can only go so far with typing on here.  so anyway, it finally stopped.  Just like that. one night at 7 no crying.  :yippee:

 

Moving on.  He moved on into OCD. when he was about 2.  OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!  EVERYTHING had to be in order. I could go on and on.  I thought I was going to lose my mind, not to mention I felt so badly for my baby.  OMG!!!!!!!!!!  OH this went on for a couple of years.  With this was hyperactivity. The child was bouncing off the ceiling.  for hours a day.  I had him in daycare and got so many calls to come and get him. he was running into steel doors on purpose.  Took him to a children's hospital.  Right away dx with ADHD.  Put him on Ritalin.  I was all by myself with him, had no guidance, did not know any different.  My son in very intellectual.  I gave him the ritalin and about 5 minutes later he came and told me his tongue felt strange.  I rode it out and took him to daycare.  They called me and told me they had to pull him off the ceiling.  Well, if you are ADHD the ritalin is supposed to calm you down.  NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  There is no antidote for this, and his heart was going way too fast for me.  They told me there was no anitdote.  RIDE it out.  :pokey:  so I had to think of a way for him to be still.  I put him in his car seat and literallly drove around for 16 hours that day with a child the NEVER NEVER shut up.  He was on speed literally.  Well, he did not have ADHD. What was wrong.  What was wrong with my baby????????

Took him back to the doctor.  They put him on something else.  I listened to the wonderful doctors that told me this was totally differnt that ritalin.  Gave it to  him.  It was the samething. different name.  back in the car we go again for 14 hours. non stop talking.  This wore off of course.

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[05...]

Still had the ocd thing going.  took him to a psychiatrist.  he put him on Paxil. He was in the first grade.  I did not have a clue.  I listened again. Giving a child a antidepressant. OMG.  and I went for it.  OH good Lord.  Well, needless to say, one day I got a call from security from the school that my child attacked the teacher and upturned the desk.  I went and got him.  I stayed awake all night long.  and thought.  Well, the only thing I could come up with about that was it was the paxil.  I stopped it and he changed, but still had the ocd thing going. so for one year, I researched and researched and researched.  I knew something was wrong STILL.  he was still very hyper.  I came across a natural homepathy treatment and tried him out on that.  He changed completely.  calmed down.  But it took ALOT of time and effort..  He is now a honor roll student, has won numerous awards, made the national honor society this year, and it just continues.  This all wore off but it took a long time. 

 

And honey, it wasn't until last year that I realized it was KLONOPIN.  I have no doubt.  He was detoxing.  And I cried my eyes out.

I am in no way saying this is going to happen to your child.  I'm saying this is possible.  My child was in pain and I did not even know it. I don't want to scare you like I said.  And I hope noone thinks that especially you.  But if I can save just ONE child from that kind of pain, I will do it. 

 

Thank you for reading.  I wish you and your child the very best of health and happiness.  This is the best place you can be if you decide to come off the benzo. Wonderful group of people here. 

God Bless,

Mamie

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[05...]

And let me clarify one thing. 

 

The eight months was the detox.  After that, the ocd, hyperactivity I believe were remnants.  Because all of it is gone now. 

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Mamie, are you certain it was the Klonopin that was causing your child's medical/psychological/emotional issues?  Did your doctor confirm this? 

 

It certainly sounds like your poor son might possibly have been experiencing benzo withdrawal, however; your child's history from birth through grade school sounds exactly like my husband's cousin's child (including the all night crying), and she never took a benzo in her life, nor was she on any other medications during her pregnancy. :(

 

Freewaterfall,

 

We've had other members who took benzos at some point in their pregnancy, and their children are fine.  Having said that, it really probably would be best not to be taking benzos for the duration of one's pregnancy, simply because the medical community is not yet certain of the safety of many medicines (not just benzos) during pregnancy.  

 

Bevoir is correct in saying that your pregnancy complicates things a bit and your taper probably won't be what we normally suggest.  As she said, it's really best to discuss all of this with your doctor. :)

 

 

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