ONE WEEK OUT!

[[Ho...]]

1 week COMPLETELY FREE of Klonopin!!!!!!

 

I'm healing emotionally right now - I can tell because I'm going through the ANGER phase. I'm very angry at professionals and family members who encouraged me to go on a drug that would "help" me. I'm even more angry at God, because I thought the encouragement of important people in my life were as close to "signs" from him as you could get. What do you know.... I was wrong. I'm also soooo angry that no one warned me what this drug would do to me!!!! (Seriously, there has GOT to be something passed in congress that will force drs to give their patients ALL of the information about what taking this drug entails... especially including withdrawal!) If that can't happen, then I want some kind of monetary compensation or something.

 

LOL, I told you I was going through the anger phase.

 

Right now sleep sucks, dizziness sucks, brain fog sucks. But I'm more excited than upset about these symptoms, because all the years I was on Klonopin I never kept a consistent dose - so I've been experiencing these things for all that time. No one told me that I must keep a consistent dose, or warned me about how powerful this drug was. I was under the impression it was a "take-as-needed" type of thing, and so that's what I did - I took whatever dose I thought I needed, whenever I felt like it. And w/d symptoms shot up like a bat out of hell. When I started experiencing the horrible symptoms 2.5 yrs ago, I thought I was just getting worse and so  turned to Klonopin all the more (that's what my doctors thought too). Talk about completely shattering your sense of self and any confidence you may have.

 

So these symptoms are nothing new to me at all, I'm sorry to say. Right now they're just at a higher intensity. I'm glad to FINALLY know I'm not insane OR sick, it was just the drug. (Thanks for all your help, doctors   )

.....I have FINALLY been able to stop searching for an answer to my symptoms. I've found the culprit, and it is not me. I am innocent. The drug is what was doing it to me all along. I'm not dying or going crazy. I'm perfectly fine, and I've already done what I needed to do - get off the drug. Now I know my life will begin to be joyous again. For that, even though I'm mad at him, I do thank God.

 

Please send POSITIVE vibes my way... any and all encouragement is greatly appreciated!!!

 

 

<3 Holly

 

PS - Can you guys tell me how you all were at 1 week off?

[Guest [Cl...]]

Holly....I was also told "take as needed" and was suffering from w/d s/x for the entire time while on Klonopin too. So sorry you had to suffer as well....it's crippling, isn't it?

 

Congratulations, though for your success getting off of it 

 

Hope healing and peace comes to you soon

 

Clem

[[Be...]]

Congratulations, Holly.  ;Dm  It does feel good to get the tapering phase behind you, doesn't it?  Since you asked, the first couple of weeks off were pretty rough.  I didn't feel worse than before jumping but it was a while before I noticed really feeling better.  I just kept thinking of every symptoms as signs of continued healing going on and that helped me accept what I couldn't change.  Good luck and happy healing. 

[[ro...]]

Hey Holly:

 

I hope you love horses!  I love your avatar and figured you just might.  First, a big KUDOS to you for your benzo freedom!  Your story is so similar to mine.  I was told I could safely take ativan up to 3x per week and not become addicted!  And that from two different doctors.  I, too, suffered interdosing withdrawals for a few years, had so many tests, including a bone marrow biopsy (...ouch).  No doc even remotely thought it was due to the ativan.  I had to research and figure it out on my own too.    And I have been through the anger stage  :tickedoff: and now to the problem solving stage of recovery. 

 

I want to talk with executives at my HMO and push them to give future patients (3) important advisements before handing out their Rx for benzos:  1)  this class of drugs is addictive if taken longer than 10 days; 2)  you will most likely reach tolerance, which means you will have to updose to reduce the tolerance withdrawal symptoms; and 3)  this class of drugs may be difficult to withdraw from and you will be advised to taper slowly.  Even a slow taper will not ensure you will not experience unpleasant withdrawal symptoms.  My campaign will be to educate doctors who can educate patients before taking their first pill.

 

I am two months off an almost year long taper from ambien first, then ativan with a C/O to valium and taper.  Things are slowly improving and more good days than bad ones (...thank you God!)

 

I'll be thinking of you and supporting you heart and soul for your complete recovery.  (...and more riding to do!) :smitten:

 

God bless,

Rocko

[[pa...]]

Hi Holly, Congrats to u being the very strong person u are.  Yeah the anger is due... but not worth holding onto, u have too much to deal and work with.  As far as God... well.. he/she had nothing to do with it... its humans - in a nutshell.  Just know u will heal and have your life back, and like u said, u now know it was not your mind and nothing was wrong with you.  The "club" of awakening is with this site... the best positive thoughts to you... healing ahead... u will get there.  Always, Pattlu

[[Ho...]]

Hey Holly:

 

I hope you love horses!  I love your avatar and figured you just might.  First, a big KUDOS to you for your benzo freedom!  Your story is so similar to mine.  I was told I could safely take ativan up to 3x per week and not become addicted!  And that from two different doctors.  I, too, suffered interdosing withdrawals for a few years, had so many tests, including a bone marrow biopsy (...ouch).  No doc even remotely thought it was due to the ativan.  I had to research and figure it out on my own too.     And I have been through the anger stage  :tickedoff: and now to the problem solving stage of recovery. 

 

I want to talk with executives at my HMO and push them to give future patients (3) important advisements before handing out their Rx for benzos:  1)  this class of drugs is addictive if taken longer than 10 days; 2)  you will most likely reach tolerance, which means you will have to updose to reduce the tolerance withdrawal symptoms; and 3)  this class of drugs may be difficult to withdraw from and you will be advised to taper slowly.  Even a slow taper will not ensure you will not experience unpleasant withdrawal symptoms.  My campaign will be to educate doctors who can educate patients before taking their first pill.

 

I am two months off an almost year long taper from ambien first, then ativan with a C/O to valium and taper.  Things are slowly improving and more good days than bad ones (...thank you God!)

 

I'll be thinking of you and supporting you heart and soul for your complete recovery.  (...and more riding to do!) :smitten:

 

God bless,

Rocko

Hi Rocko!

Yes, I do love horses... I always have! That horse in my avatar is Carolina, my Thoroughbred mare. She's the greatest horse in the world lol  I wish more than anything I could have the stamina and energy  to get back in the saddle again.

You really should go through with that plan to approach your HMO. Then maybe you could take it even farther one day! Best of luck to you! That would be an amazing achievement.

 

Thanks so much for your encouragement and kind words!! 

 

Holly

[[...]]

Holly,

 

You are on the right path. It DOES get better. But it's up and down, lots of downs at first, and our minds say ohmygod I'm ruined for life. There will be a good day followed by several down days and the mind says, This will never end. BUT IT DOES.

 

The voice of god, I think, is the one inside that we don't always listen to. Well that's my latest conclusion. That voice told me the drugs were bad, but I chose to listen to the doctor tell me that it was perfectly safe. LIE! As you know.

 

Keep your faith in your healing, 24 hours at a time. Better times are ahead!

 

Fortunately I was not on benzos long term. At 21 days after the last dose I've had four good days in a row. At one week, though, things were looking better but still very much up and down.

[[St...]]

Congratulations on being FREE!!   

 

 

 

[[Li...]]

Hey Holly, congratulations on being BENZO FREE!

 

We have so much in common - I was told to take "as needed" and felt the withdrawal symtoms the entire time I took it. I thought I was being misdiagnosed for some underlying illness only to learn it was the k, and me not takeing it correctly and for taking it more than 8 weeks! I have a friend who is a pharmaceutical rep who sells this mess to docs and hosptials and she says she always goes over the dangers of CNS drugs! More improtantly, that patients with mild cases of anxiety/sleep disorders should not be on the drugs for more than a few weeks. Doctors should not rely on the meds alone to treat the disorder - they should couple it with therapy sessions and re-evaluate the patient from week to week.

[Guest [Cl...]]

Hey Holly, congratulations on being BENZO FREE!

 

We have so much in common - I was told to take "as needed" and felt the withdrawal symtoms the entire time I took it. I thought I was being misdiagnosed for some underlying illness only to learn it was the k, and me not takeing it correctly and for taking it more than 8 weeks! I have a friend who is a pharmaceutical rep who sells this mess to docs and hosptials and she says she always goes over the dangers of CNS drugs! More improtantly, that patients with mild cases of anxiety/sleep disorders should not be on the drugs for more than a few weeks. Doctors should not rely on the meds alone to treat the disorder - they should couple it with therapy sessions and re-evaluate the patient from week to week.

 

I'm in the same boat as you too (Irregular dosing due to a "take as needed' script)....thanks for sharing your story and info. Hope you're all having a good day 

[[Li...]]

Hey Clemintine, yes we did catch the same ferry, didn't we? I am feeling exhausted today because I slept 3 hours. I am so sensitive to sounds and light and anything can wake me up. Last night my teenage boys had their friends over they were up late! They hung out in the sun room, just below my bedroom and I could hear everything going on. My husband sleeps like a baby and heard nothing. I have to cover anything in the room with lights (ie., the DVD player, alarm panel, clocks, etc.). Where are you in your recovery? I started a diary of my cessation progress but got frustrated with the steps backwards that I discontinued the diary.

 

I know it will get better. My brain is healing after it was abused. I have to give myself credit for catching this early. I knew something was not right with my body and mind. I could never put my finger on it but knew it had to be something I had recentle introduced my body to - the sleeping and anxiety pills.

 

Let me know where you are with recovery,

 

Take care,

 

Lida