Clinging to hope during withdrawals

[[Wa...]]

I took Xanax for 10 years at 1 or 1.5 mg daily. Became increasingly sick and decided to "taper" off. I went from 1.5 mg daily to nothing in 3 months, thinking this was a gradual reduction and safe taper. Suffered horribly for 6 months in increasing misery. When I felt so bad that death would have seemed merciful, I did more research online and discovered the Ashton Manual and recommended diazepam taper. Reinstated benzos with diazepam at 8mg daily. Am currently tapering at a rate of .25 mg/week. This week is 6.75mg. I feel horrible. While getting on the diazepam relieved the severe depression I felt during withdrawals, I now feel worse in terms of some other physical symptoms. The most debilitating are brain fog and back pain. I've been unable to work and am feeling increasingly socially isolated due to withdrawal-related limitations. I am a strong-willed, optimistic, happy person who is fighting for her life to get through this. I eat healthy, exercise daily, get plenty of sleep, and have a loving, supportive boyfriend. Despite all those good things, this is unimaginably difficult and I'm desperately clinging to the hope that this will someday end and I will feel better. I don't know anyone personally going through benzo withdrawals, so I could really use some support from people who understand. Thanks! 

[[BY...]]

Hello Watersong,

 

Happy to hear you did the research and finding the Ashton Manual. Research is very important in helping you understand this process.

 

Sorry to hear you going through a hard time. Maybe you could hold at your current dose and see if you stabilize, then resume your taper again.

 

We all understand this can be very difficult and will help you the best we can.

 

Welcome to BenzoBuddies,

Mike

 

 

 

 

edit:personal info removed