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Daughter is getting married in six days and I can hardly function


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I am so nervous about not being able to make this wedding. It's a night wedding which makes it even worse. I am still shaking in the morning and not doing well with walking.It's a five hour drive away and it's a weekend away. So much to do and I'm not sure what I can do to make sure I'm ok. I guess nothing. Coming off the neurontin set me back a lot. I feel like i only have four months free of these drugs instead of eight. I'm off benzos eight months but neurontin only four and coming off of that stuff was just like a benzo to me and my brain. My nervous system is really bad. Neurofeedback doctor says I can have a seizure very easy. My other health issues are not great. So i know I cannot stress too much but I cannot help it. My heart is racing crazy all the time and breathing issues are real bad too. I'm hoping another week may help. who knows. i feel like my sx's are getting worse instead of better. ...Just need some advice... :'(
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Hi Marlene:

 

I'm so sorry to hear you are having such a hard time.  Perhaps you just need to see how you feel the day of the wedding to decide if you can go.  If you do go, give yourself permission to leave early if you need to.  Will someone else be driving?  I hope you feel good enough to make it.

 

Draftsman

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Oh, Marlene, I could so relate to your fears re your daughter's wedding.  My older daughter got engaged a month ago and I keep waiting to hear that they've set a date.  No way in hell could I go to her wedding right now.  I'm still tapering, though, and so hope they hold off till I'm at least well into my healing.  I'm not much help to you, just sharing you my own fears, but I should tell you that Hoping2BeFree didn't think she'd make her son's wedding in April, but she went after 2 sleepless nights and made it through just fine.  You will, too.  Somehow we manage to do what we need to do---at least most of the time.  You will undoubtedly need time to rest up afterward, and yes, you need to give yourself permission to cut the evening short if need be.  I hope, for your sake, that this week goes by quickly, as I know how we can work ourselves up just anticipating an event and how hard we think it will be.  All the best to you, ~~mbr
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I really feel for you that this is meant to be the most happiest and proud day for you yet the closer it gets the worse you feel.... I know exactly how you feel, but i have been going to this phycologist that makes me do things to get over my anxiety and what i am feeling and the other day he said i am going to a function with 50 people and i am going to do a 5 minute talk...He would be there and i gotta tell you that week i tried every excuse on why i wouldn't do it,  and how to get out of it, and what if i passed out and any way you understand..... The day came i had to drive myself, which was the first obstacle and then i got there and was a mess and did the controlled breathing and then before i knew it i was up in front of people talking....what was i talking about,,, every body in that room were benzo users or ex and it was a place called con nextion in Australia and they all empathised with what i was going through.... any way i did it and had a window straight after... As i think i would or regretted not doing it and i am sure you will feel the same if you did not go....

 

I feel for you and  remember every body on here is thinking of you and when you do go please write and tell us all how you did as i think even though it is a big thing for you,, the magic window will appear and you will see your beautiful daughter getting married which i am sure you will cherish

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Marlene, I found my daughters wedding a few years ago to be surprisingly stressfull, :o for what is supposed to be a very happy occasion. 

 

If there are ex's etc. involved it can get complicated. Potential in laws can be a nightmare,( my son in laws parents ignored me completely- no group photos with me included - nothing), but it was all over relativley quicky, & the newly weds were on their way to their honeymon on a South Pacific isle.

 

I hope that you can get through the event O.K. for your daughters sake, & that you have a good time, despite your apprehension now. :)

 

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Hi Marlene, Weddings can be stresful even though when we are not in withdrawal. I know, I've been there and they both took place from my home, with photographers, guests, etc but for me the drugs came later. Having said that I don't know anything about the drugs that you've been on but Congratulations on being free.  :)

 

I hope that you will be able to drive to the wedding the day before and have time to rest. When I'm stressed, I find that deep breathing helps me so much, if I have pain, I take Tylenol. If it were me, I would be looking for a place to have a facial, nails, pedicure and hair done the day of the wedding. It's amazing what some pampering can do for us. I know that I must be sounding terribly upbeat when your the one who is going through it but I've been where you are and thought some of my tips might help. As long as you can get through the marriage vows you might be able to slip away if your not feeling well. I hope that it will work out for you.

 

Frannie

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Hi Marlene,

 

I was in the middle of crossing over to valium during my son's wedding. I wasn't sure what kind of shape I was going to be in for the wedding because I was experiencing some sxs from dropping the ativan and adjusting to the valium. When I saw the tears start rolling down my boy's face as he laid eyes on his bride...well everything changed for me. For just one night in my many months of withdrawal I was able to forget about benzos and truly be happy for my son and his bride.

 

Because life doesn't stop while we're dealing with benzos, I think mbr is right, we do what we have to do. I'll be thinking of you Marlene.

 

Leslie 

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I cannot tell you enough how much your words of encouragement mean to me.Everyday now I try to see how long I can last. It's an evening wedding so I try to imagine taking a shower at five and getting dressed for an event. You know the deal. Interesting enough my neurofeedback told me my brain is swollen and that is why I a getting dizzy and passing out. She told me to take benedryl to calm my brain down and it's been helping me. I was so close to going back on the neurontin because I kept feeling like I was going to have a seizure. I felt my brain shaking sometimes. I have a friend driving me. it's a six hour drive. We are bringing the cake. frozen ..

omg. we have so much stuff to bring with us. center pieces, decorations, In my heart I am so excited. but my body and mind has to catch up. I'm going up a day early do I can rest. I know i won't though. so many people,friends, you know.she is gettting married on the beach in Providence, mass. I am the first one to walk down the aisle to the beach. oh lord...I'm leaving Friday and the wedding is Sat. at 6 pm so if you guys remember please say a quick prayer for me. I will fill you in when i return...love you all

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Marlene, I feel that you will be fine, I feel it as I just read your post. I'm sending some prayers your way and please try to take some time for you the afternoon of the wedding. We will be looking forward to hearing about it when you return. It sounds like it's going to be a wonderful day and where could one relax more than on a beach with the waves gently lapping on the shore.

 

Frannie 

 

 

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Marlene -

 

Maybe this is stating the obvious, but be sure to be extra

sweet and patient with YOURSELF. You cannot pour out too

much energy while going thru this benzo taper fiasco.

 

I find that in such events if I just slow down, breathe, and

stay present with myself and not try to have it all be perfect,

things generally turn out OK. Believe me, if you just "own"

what you are feeling and "go with the flow" as they say, you

are not fighting your own experience....you are being there

for yourself.....and thereby your daughter will benefit. I hope

you have a great time ... and remember, don't sweat the

small stuff! Hey, we can't afford to right now, ya know?

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