Worst withdrawal symptom - always thinking about death

[[Ho...]]

I'm not far into my withdrawal but already I've had a weird symptom (at least one that I HOPE is caused by the Klonopin, and isn't just from me!)

 

I basically can't stop thinking about death. Like while I'm driving, I'll get all freaked out because I imagine myself dying in a car accident. Or when I take my sleep meds (which I have taken without problem for years), I am now getting panic attacks because I'll feel them sedating my body and I think I'm going to die from them! (I've never gotten panic attacks before all of this, either.)

 

This is so horrible! It's like all of a sudden I've realized that I am going to die eventually, and it terrifies me into panic. Is this normal? Why is this happening?  :'(

 

I'm coming off of 1mg

[[Ji...]]

from what I understand yes!

 

I keep thinking that my breath is going to stop??   and just over all weird thought patterns that normaly would never bother me before going on the xanax

[[Fl...]]

The benzo brain tries to think in terms of worst case scenario. I spent a few months shopping for a motorcycle and during that time I kept having the same thought of me laying the bike down and a car smacking me in the head.

 

Not fun but it does go away.

[[Ho...]]

Thanks.

 

I'm sure it's just very bad anxiety/panic, but it's absolutely horrible always thinking I'm about to die! (Although I must say that the insomnia I have is worse).

[[sw...]]

That is a very common symptom and is called "involuntary thoughts". 

 

I remember just after xmas bursting into tears while walking my dog because I was picturing a car jumping the curb and killing her before my eyes.  It's alarming at first, but once you realize that it's just the danger sensing portion of your brain going a little haywire while the GABA receptors are learning how to slow things down on a smaller dosage this symptom will definitely downgrade to not pleasant but definitely tolerable.

 

[[Ho...]]

That is a very common symptom and is called "involuntary thoughts". 

 

I remember just after xmas bursting into tears while walking my dog because I was picturing a car jumping the curb and killing her before my eyes.  It's alarming at first, but once you realize that it's just the danger sensing portion of your brain going a little haywire while the GABA receptors are learning how to slow things down on a smaller dosage this symptom will definitely downgrade to not pleasant but definitely tolerable.

 

 

This is very good to know - thank you. The way you described it made it sound like it's positive ("GABA receptors learning...") I'd like to think of it as positive if at all possible! Like my brain is simply re-adjusting :\

[[Ji...]]

good info

 

[[sw...]]

That is a very common symptom and is called "involuntary thoughts". 

 

I remember just after xmas bursting into tears while walking my dog because I was picturing a car jumping the curb and killing her before my eyes.  It's alarming at first, but once you realize that it's just the danger sensing portion of your brain going a little haywire while the GABA receptors are learning how to slow things down on a smaller dosage this symptom will definitely downgrade to not pleasant but definitely tolerable.

 

 

This is very good to know - thank you. The way you described it made it sound like it's positive ("GABA receptors learning...") I'd like to think of it as positive if at all possible! Like my brain is simply re-adjusting :\

 

I'm glad that was helpful to you.  I don't know if you've had a chance to read up on it in the Ashton Manual or through other sources, but basically neurons have these things called GABA receptors that, in a nutshell, control how quickly neurons can fire.  Benzos slow down the firing, so taking them away speeds up the firing.  This is why the so many of the symptoms have to do with portions of the brain working overtime: fear, anxiety, insomnia, danger vigilance, muscle twitches, etc.  The body get sped up for a few days or weeks after a cut while it adjusts to the new GABA levels, and then once it adapts and the symptoms subside a new cut can be safely made.  In it's own painful way, your withdrawal signs are the most visible way you have to see your brain healing.

 

[[Pa...]]

I'm not far into my withdrawal but already I've had a weird symptom (at least one that I HOPE is caused by the Klonopin, and isn't just from me!)

 

I basically can't stop thinking about death. Like while I'm driving, I'll get all freaked out because I imagine myself dying in a car accident. Or when I take my sleep meds (which I have taken without problem for years), I am now getting panic attacks because I'll feel them sedating my body and I think I'm going to die from them! (I've never gotten panic attacks before all of this, either.)

 

This is so horrible! It's like all of a sudden I've realized that I am going to die eventually, and it terrifies me into panic. Is this normal? Why is this happening?  :'(

 

I'm coming off of 1mg

 

What sleep meds are you taking Holly?

[[Pe...]]

For the first two months after Detoxing off benzos I had overwhelming thoughts of impending doom and was constantly afraid of dying - for the first time in my life.  Those intrusive negative thoughts really ran with this years tornado outbreak in Alabama.  I was over paranoid with each storm that rolled through our area and pictured utter devastation.  The sound of the thunder jarred every fiber in my body.  These types of thoughts began to diminish during the 3rd month and are gone at month 4.  Hang in there Holly, they will go away.

[[Ho...]]

I'm not far into my withdrawal but already I've had a weird symptom (at least one that I HOPE is caused by the Klonopin, and isn't just from me!)

 

I basically can't stop thinking about death. Like while I'm driving, I'll get all freaked out because I imagine myself dying in a car accident. Or when I take my sleep meds (which I have taken without problem for years), I am now getting panic attacks because I'll feel them sedating my body and I think I'm going to die from them! (I've never gotten panic attacks before all of this, either.)

 

This is so horrible! It's like all of a sudden I've realized that I am going to die eventually, and it terrifies me into panic. Is this normal? Why is this happening?  :'(

 

I'm coming off of 1mg

 

 

What sleep meds are you taking Holly?

 

Pam - I can't stick with any one thing too long becuase I quickly develop a tolerance. Normally benadryl in doses of 75-100mg works perfectly.  The med I was talking about in this situation was Trazodone. In the past, before I got off Klonopin, I would have to take Trazodone at 75-200mg in order to get to sleep, and noticed no side effects from it except sinus congestion the next day. Well, when I tried it again a few days ago, I took what I normally would (75mg) and it felt like I OD'd!  It sure as heck felt more like I OD'd  (extremely pounding fast heartrate, dry mouth, feeling short of breath) ...but since I don't see how this dose could cause an OD I must attribute it to a panic attack    This was probably the most terrifying night of my life, and I don't think I could bring myself to take Trazodone ever again.  

(By the way, I asked my doc if I needed to taper up on Trazodone  since I'd been off it for a while... and he said I didn't.) This whole situation just freaks me out!

 

 

 

 

Everyone - this is so interesting. I had no idea so many people experienced these scary/violent intrusive thoughts!

[[wh...]]

I also think and worry about death and other terrible things but I KNOW THAT ITS THE DRUG DOING IT.

good luck

[[Su...]]

I'm not far into my withdrawal but already I've had a weird symptom (at least one that I HOPE is caused by the Klonopin, and isn't just from me!)

 

I basically can't stop thinking about death. Like while I'm driving, I'll get all freaked out because I imagine myself dying in a car accident. Or when I take my sleep meds (which I have taken without problem for years), I am now getting panic attacks because I'll feel them sedating my body and I think I'm going to die from them! (I've never gotten panic attacks before all of this, either.)

 

This is so horrible! It's like all of a sudden I've realized that I am going to die eventually, and it terrifies me into panic. Is this normal? Why is this happening?  :'(

 

I'm coming off of 1mg

 

 

What sleep meds are you taking Holly?

 

Pam - I can't stick with any one thing too long becuase I quickly develop a tolerance. Normally benadryl in doses of 75-100mg works perfectly.  The med I was talking about in this situation was Trazodone. In the past, before I got off Klonopin, I would have to take Trazodone at 75-200mg in order to get to sleep, and noticed no side effects from it except sinus congestion the next day. Well, when I tried it again a few days ago, I took what I normally would (75mg) and it felt like I OD'd!  It sure as heck felt more like I OD'd  (extremely pounding fast heartrate, dry mouth, feeling short of breath) ...but since I don't see how this dose could cause an OD I must attribute it to a panic attack    This was probably the most terrifying night of my life, and I don't think I could bring myself to take Trazodone ever again.  

(By the way, I asked my doc if I needed to taper up on Trazodone  since I'd been off it for a while... and he said I didn't.) This whole situation just freaks me out!

 

 

 

 

Everyone - this is so interesting. I had no idea so many people experienced these scary/violent intrusive thoughts!

 

Remember that doctors also tell us that we don't need to taper off benzos! I was c/t off of 100 mgs of Trazodone and it was as awful as benzo w/d has been...some are fine with it, but "google" trazodone withdrawal....it can be AWFUL!

 

I am 8 1/2 months off and I still have a gripping fear of dying...It has lessened, but is still with me...I hate it!

[[Bl...]]

Hollyms,

 

One thing that helped me was to force myself into a mental exercise wherein I told myself over and over "this is not real.  This is the drug."  If you can visualize the experience as being apart from you it may give it a little less power.

 

Meditation may also help, even if you just do it for a moment.  Deep breaths and visualize something soothing.

 

This is a hell of a drug.  Don't get discouraged.  However, if your thoughts of death get too difficult, please do go see a doctor.  We don't want you hurting yourself.

 

--Bluegus