Bloody zolpi-damn

[[Li...]]

G'day folks, Kind of here out of pure desperation...

 

I might be considered either an extreme (nut) case of excessive zolpidem abuse (around er well, let's count in boxes (2-3 (a day.. yes.  )(do not ask where why how or when.. I.. get got those..) or a dead man walking... (allthough.. the liver test I took showed only a SLIGHT elevation in liver activity.. and no damage...)

 

Could be a case of having a really strong body and a really weak mind. allthough my IQ isn't that low.. it's actually in the high end of the chart.. but.. still weak minded I guess..

 

Kind of here out of pure desperation since well since this morning I have been tapering put on 30 milligrams of diazepam a day (how I am feeling? This smiley about sums it up:  ) apparently this will keep me from spazzing out and then stopping with that, and moving in general..

 

Well that about sums it up, I'll probably get around to actual tapering in a week or so.. if I am still you know, breathing and all.

 

well thanks for reading, I'll be checking back after walking around in circles out of pure misery for a while..  ...

 

 

 

[Guest [Si...]]

LimeyFruitCake,

 

Welcoming you to BenzoBuddies.

 

You will find plenty of support here.

 

Sigma.

 

[[Pa...]]

Hello and Welcome!

 

I'm not sure I understand, how much Zolpidem are you taking and were you only prescribed the Valium as of this morning?  Would you like to taper off of these medications, or suggestions as to which you might taper first?

 

We're here to help, so please ask questions.  By the way, I was on an obscene amount of Ambien myself at one time. 

 

Pam

[[Li...]]

Hello and Welcome!

 

I'm not sure I understand, how much Zolpidem are you taking and were you only prescribed the Valium as of this morning?  Would you like to taper off of these medications, or suggestions as to which you might taper first?

 

We're here to help, so please ask questions.  By the way, I was on an obscene amount of Ambien myself at one time. 

 

Pam

 

Well, I was taking 3 boxes (90 pills.. 10 mg's a pill..) a day to combat withdrawal, get my fix and sleep at the same time, I was prescribed the stuff years back 20 mg's a day.. (When I was about.. 12 to 13..)

 

and it all escalated from there, I found certain places where the amount of the stuff was only limited by your own bank account.. and it went downhill from there real fast...

 

the stupid thing is I just typed in zolpidem in my country's equivalent of craig's list... 

[[Pa...]]

I stopped taking Ambien cold turkey and I actually felt better because all of the inter-dose withdrawal symptoms went away.  Of course, I couldn't sleep for a couple of weeks, and the nightmares were the stuff of horror movies, but life got pretty good, pretty fast. 

 

If you've only been on the Valium since this morning, I'd make that my first and last dose if I were you.

[[Li...]]

I stopped taking Ambien cold turkey and I actually felt better because all of the inter-dose withdrawal symptoms went away.  Of course, I couldn't sleep for a couple of weeks, and the nightmares were the stuff of horror movies, but life got pretty good, pretty fast. 

 

If you've only been on the Valium since this morning, I'd make that my first and last dose if I were you.

 

Not quite the first time, but it's been atleast a half a year since I've had any benzo but zolpidem, since none of them seemed to work..

 

so cold turkey is actually a good way to quit this?

 

.. interesting..

[[Pa...]]

I have addiction issues, so cold turkey is the only way I could quit, all or nothing, unfortunately.  I'm not advocating it, but I'm not a fan of the crossover to Valium for getting off of the Z drugs, to me that throws you out of the frying pan, and into the fire.  Tapering the Zolpidem would be the better option than that.

[[xe...]]

Talking to him in chat, it seems he spread his doses around the day, it wasn't just once at night, I'd be worried about w/d seizures and psychosis stopping c/t.. they have been reported from z-drugs.

 

Considering his addiction issues and massive zolpidem doses, I'd say his only safe choices are Valium or detox...

[[Cr...]]

Well, I was taking 3 boxes (90 pills.. 10 mg's a pill..) a day to combat withdrawal, get my fix and sleep at the same time, I was prescribed the stuff years back 20 mg's a day.. (When I was about.. 12 to 13..)

 

and it all escalated from there, I found certain places where the amount of the stuff was only limited by your own bank account.. and it went downhill from there real fast...

 

the stupid thing is I just typed in zolpidem in my country's equivalent of craig's list...  

Hello LimeyFruitCake, Welcome to BenzoBuddies (interesting name   )

 

So if I am reading this right you were taking 900 mgs worth of Zolpidem spread throughout a day?  I believe according to the equivalency chart that would be about 450 mgs of valium or in my case 22.5 mgs of klonopin.  I would like to believe that to be an exaggeration but I am guessing you worked your way up that high over the course of many years.

 

You said you were taking that much daily, did you get to a lower dose at all before you started the valium?  At this rate I don't know how well 30 mgs valium would work for you other than keep the threat of a seizure at bay... which is the most important matter at this point.  If you are off Ambien, I would feel funny suggesting reinstating at such a high dose... perhaps you would do better to go lower.  I am not sure of the rate of tapering for such a dose, but it should be a lot quicker than tapering from a true benzo.  It wouldn't be pleasant because of the extremely short half-life but you may find some relief as you get to lower doses.

 

At any rate, it seems you are ready to confront your addictive behaviour head-on and that is a good news.  You really have to be ready to let these drugs go.  I don't think cold turkey would be wise for the amount of  zolpidem you were on (assuming you stop the valium).  You may be able to knock off pretty big doses at a time though.

[[Li...]]

Well, I was taking 3 boxes (90 pills.. 10 mg's a pill..) a day to combat withdrawal, get my fix and sleep at the same time, I was prescribed the stuff years back 20 mg's a day.. (When I was about.. 12 to 13..)

 

and it all escalated from there, I found certain places where the amount of the stuff was only limited by your own bank account.. and it went downhill from there real fast...

 

the stupid thing is I just typed in zolpidem in my country's equivalent of craig's list...  

Hello LimeyFruitCake, Welcome to BenzoBuddies (interesting name   )

 

So if I am reading this right you were taking 900 mgs worth of Zolpidem spread throughout a day?  I believe according to the equivalency chart that would be about 450 mgs of valium or in my case 22.5 mgs of klonopin.  I would like to believe that to be an exaggeration but I am guessing you worked your way up that high over the course of many years.

 

You said you were taking that much daily, did you get to a lower dose at all before you started the valium?  At this rate I don't know how well 30 mgs valium would work for you other than keep the threat of a seizure at bay... which is the most important matter at this point.  If you are off Ambien, I would feel funny suggesting reinstating at such a high dose... perhaps you would do better to go lower.  I am not sure of the rate of tapering for such a dose, but it should be a lot quicker than tapering from a true benzo.  It wouldn't be pleasant because of the extremely short half-life but you may find some relief as you get to lower doses.

 

At any rate, it seems you are ready to confront your addictive behaviour head-on and that is a good news.  You really have to be ready to let these drugs go.  I don't think cold turkey would be wise for the amount of  zolpidem you were on (assuming you stop the valium).  You may be able to knock off pretty big doses at a time though.

 

900 mg's is kind of the highest what i've taken on a 24 hour basis but was/is no exeption (insomnia getting desperate didn't take as much during the day, sometimes needed to dose 140 mg's of the stuff 2-3 times nightly to sleep.. kind of because I might have forgotten that I was awake but yes...) I did work my way up over many years, I guess it's going to be treason for atleast a week, or if my addiction counselor guy knows his stuff maybe I'll get back to the limbo I've been in for a year or so.. who knows..

 

Atleast I'm gaining a bit of knowledge here, and maybe a bit of hope.. maybe false hope but hope nonetheless.

 

thanks guys!

 

[[Pa...]]

I'm a little unclear about something, have you discontinued the Zolpidem now that you've started the Valium and is it your addiction counselor who is working with you on this plan, if this is your plan?  We're just trying to figure out how to help you, and in order to do this, we  need just a little more information.

 

It would also be helpful for us to know what your average dose per day of Zolpidem is, not your highest.  Thank you.

 

 

 

[[Li...]]

I'm a little unclear about something, have you discontinued the Zolpidem now that you've started the Valium and is it your addiction counselor who is working with you on this plan, if this is your plan?  We're just trying to figure out how to help you, and in order to do this, we  need just a little more information.

 

It would also be helpful for us to know what your average dose per day of Zolpidem is, not your highest.  Thank you.

 

 

 

 

Sorry for any confusion I may have or may cause in the future..

 

The average was I guess about 600-700 mg's wich isn't much better.

and as of yet there really isn't a plan.. I just got put on the valium to keep the seizures away, the rest is waiting 'till monday and hope that there will be some progress then, since I doubt I'll last though this relentless barrage of madness much longer than that, and I still wonder if I even will...  

 

 

Edit:  Corrected my post, I meant to say Valium, not Ambien.

[[Pa...]]

I'm still not understanding, I'm sorry.  You are no longer taking any Zolpidem, is this correct? 

[[Li...]]

I'm still not understanding, I'm sorry.  You are no longer taking any Zolpidem, is this correct? 

 

I stopped for now as I do not have any left. so it's not much of a choice..

 

I don't know, I guess I'm just gathering some information to tell the counselor guy for now though..

 

if that makes any sense at all? I'm finding it rather hard to correctly tell anything right now..

 

thanks in advance though!

[[Pa...]]

Hi LimeyFruitCake,

 

Thank you for going through is all for me, I can understand why you're not feeling well at the moment.  I'm glad you're taking the Valium for now, I didn't realize you'd stopped the Zolpidem.  Hopefully your counselor will be able to suggest a safe way for you to be free of these drugs, because I can tell you from experience that you'll feel great when you are.

 

When I was taking Ambien, I'd have to take it every few hours, because the horrible trembling, nausea and fog was too much for me.  I could only eat if I'd taken the drug, I could only sleep an hour and a half even when I took the drug, but the suicidal thoughts were the worst.  When I stopped the Ambien, my life improved 100%, and I'm very grateful to be alive.

[[Li...]]

Hi LimeyFruitCake,

 

Thank you for going through is all for me, I can understand why you're not feeling well at the moment.  I'm glad you're taking the Valium for now, I didn't realize you'd stopped the Zolpidem.  Hopefully your counselor will be able to suggest a safe way for you to be free of these drugs, because I can tell you from experience that you'll feel great when you are.

 

When I was taking Ambien, I'd have to take it every few hours, because the horrible trembling, nausea and fog was too much for me.  I could only eat if I'd taken the drug, I could only sleep an hour and a half even when I took the drug, but the suicidal thoughts were the worst.  When I stopped the Ambien, my life improved 100%, and I'm very grateful to be alive.

 

No problem, I have nothing better to do since I am unable to do any work, since I usually work with heavy machinery.. (I should have not been able to work with those for years since I've been on constant influence of zolpidem though.. the absence of it seems to make me dizzy, I do not want to get my head stuck in a lathe or milling machine so.. yeah..)

 

I have been wondering though.. Wouldn't the extended release zolpidem be a good alternative to switching to diazepam? It has a longer half life, and it's zolpidem so it'd be like a direct taper but with less frequent dosages making it easier to controll? Just thinking out loud here, though...

[[Pa...]]

We try to avoid extended release simply because it's not easily cut because of the uneven distribution of the drug in the tablet.  I feel your best best, in my opinion is to taper the Zolpidem and be done with it.  I might have mentioned I'm not a fan of the crossover to Valium because I consider the Zolpidem to be the lesser of two evils.

 

You can do a fairly rapid taper from the Zolpidem, and while you won't be sleeping, you will begin to feel better, it amazed me how quickly my life turned around once I got it out of my system.  It will be interesting to hear what your Dr decides, but at least you'll be armed with some different points of view.

 

 

[[Li...]]

Hey guys!

 

Status report!

 

So second day without zolpidem and on the 30 mg's of diazepam.

 

A lot of the symptoms allready went away!

I do not have the horrible vertigo anymore!

The craving for zolpidem is allmost gone!

I slept for 2 hours without zolpidem!

I do have a feeling of anxieity though, but somehow it does not bother me a lot 

 

I watched an eddie izzard show today and totally laughed me' bollocks off. 

 

Somehow I feel glad and happy, wich hasn't occured in years without the influence of zolpidem!

I also have a strange feeling of contentness with my fate now.

 

Also the jelly legs went away and most of my hand eye coordination got back.

 

( tried to cheat yesterday and took one zolpidem out of my absolute emergency ration wich consisted of 3 pills, and it nearly put me to sleep, it kind of felt like I took 70 miligrams.. I have no idea how this is possible, but apperently my tolerance is dropping like a tungsten weight in a vacuum; on a high gravity planet)

 

The withdrawal symptoms are not half as bad as I expected from this as of now.

tommorow will go even better I think! 

 

I have no clue if this is my intolerance to the valium or if my tolerance is actually dropping that fast. probably a bit of both, I also seem to be a lot less depressed, more talkative and less cynical.

 

So all in all good news!

(is it okay if I keep updating this thread with my experiences for while untill I get a bit more posts? since I am still new here and all; I'll probably start a new thread in a more appropriate forum when I am a bit more used to this place!)

 

All in all I think my typing and speech is less incoherent (atleast my speech is, my parents said that! And that I allready changed tons somehow!)

 

Limey out!

[[Pa...]]

I'm thrilled for you, this is exactly how I felt when I quit Ambien, great!  Once we get away from it for just a day or two, life improves.  What I'd like to see you do now is get off the Valium before your body develops a dependence to that!  I can guarantee you that your withdrawal from it won't be the walk in the park the Ambien withdrawal has been.  Hopefully your Dr will decide you're better off without it, I hope so.

 

You can start a thread in Withdrawal & Recovery Support anytime you wish, or a blog in Buddie Blogs, or keep posting here, it's up to you.

 

Stay the course, and throw out the rest of your Zolpidem stash and work at becoming benzo free in the next week, okay?

[[Li...]]

I'm thrilled for you, this is exactly how I felt when I quit Ambien, great!  Once we get away from it for just a day or two, life improves.  What I'd like to see you do now is get off the Valium before your body develops a dependence to that!  I can guarantee you that your withdrawal from it won't be the walk in the park the Ambien withdrawal has been.  Hopefully your Dr will decide you're better off without it, I hope so.

 

You can start a thread in Withdrawal & Recovery Support anytime you wish, or a blog in Buddie Blogs, or keep posting here, it's up to you.

 

Stay the course, and throw out the rest of your Zolpidem stash and work at becoming benzo free in the next week, okay?

 

Actually!

I will start tapering this week from the valium!

I allready noticed that I need less of it to feel the same as yesterday.

 

Cold turkey might actually be the way to go!

 

And I stopped feeling sorry for myself... And that was.. REALLY liberating!

Thanks for the advice! I feel really confident, there might be some lows; BUT! NEVER! give up and you'll allways win!

 

[[li...]]

Ambien seems to be a medication that is prescribed a lot these days. I do not know anything about it (which is a shocker since the doctors seem to love pulling out the script pad) but I do believe your journey with this may be quite helpful to others.  It sounds like your dosage is well above average I am assuming most people will be on no more than that - translated - by telling your story here it is providing something for someone in the future to be encouraged to quit by!  You CAN do this!

[[Li...]]

Well time for another update, had some mayor setbacks due to a friend having an accident but yeah.. feeling okayish atleast.

 

Went from 25 to 20 mg's of diazepam yesterday. I still slept, allthough I save the 10 mg's for the evening and will be the last one I withdraw from in a week or 2-3.

 

It's 5 mg's a week for me apperently..

 

Ah well. I guess my body is doing fine ish, going to work a lot more, feeling a bit tired during the day though, but that's probably the lack of sleep and the actual diazepam speaking.

 

The screwed up thing is my life is improving even during this rather fast withdrawal... I guess it'll be an endurance battle when I'm completely off for the rest of my life though.. witch is kind of scary to think about..

 

atleast I sleep 6 hours a night, wich is kind of the same as using a lot of zolpidem.. eh..

 

Limey out!

[[Pa...]]

Well time for another update, had some mayor setbacks due to a friend having an accident but yeah.. feeling okayish atleast.

 

Went from 25 to 20 mg's of diazepam yesterday. I still slept, allthough I save the 10 mg's for the evening and will be the last one I withdraw from in a week or 2-3.

 

It's 5 mg's a week for me apperently..

 

Ah well. I guess my body is doing fine ish, going to work a lot more, feeling a bit tired during the day though, but that's probably the lack of sleep and the actual diazepam speaking.

 

The screwed up thing is my life is improving even during this rather fast withdrawal... I guess it'll be an endurance battle when I'm completely off for the rest of my life though.. witch is kind of scary to think about..

atleast I sleep 6 hours a night, wich is kind of the same as using a lot of zolpidem.. eh..

 

Limey out!

 

Hi Limey,

 

I'm glad you're still Zolpidem free, I hope you can keep tapering the Valium, going from a non benzodiazepine to a true benzo scares me, so get off of it as soon as you can, okay?

 

I wanted to address your statement, try not to think about the rest of your life, this is pretty self defeating behavior.  Anyone who thinks like this will be overwhelmed by this and won't be able to endure.  The words one day at a time are really helpful to combat this kind of thinking.  I can't do anything for the rest of my life, it's too overwhelming, but I can handle today, that's much easier.  The future will take care of itself as long as we do the right thing today. 

[[Li...]]

Well the inevitable screwing up occured.

 

let's see. another 6-8 boxes in just over 3 weeks..

 

damnit, and no way to get a higher dosage of v.

 

I sure hope I dont spazz the hell out..

 

Ah well I think last time the vertigo went away after 2 days.

 

I guess I'll wait that one out.. sigh.

[[Ni...]]

Well the inevitable screwing up occured.

 

let's see. another 6-8 boxes in just over 3 weeks..

 

damnit, and no way to get a higher dosage of v.

 

I sure hope I dont spazz the hell out..

 

Ah well I think last time the vertigo went away after 2 days.

 

I guess I'll wait that one out.. sigh.

 

LimeyFruitCake,

 

I happened to see your name in chat so I checked out your thread. Are you just taking the Valium?