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Glad I'm not alone


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A brief bit about myself, where I stand and why I'm here.

 

One day, about 11 years ago I asked my Dr. for a few 10 mg tabs of diazepam. I wasn't fond of flying at the time and thought having some on hand and by some I meant 5 or 10, I'd be a bit more confident if I had to get in the big plane and go zoom. He advises 0.5 mgs of alprazolam "as needed", hands me a hefty prescription and as we all are familiar, that first dose was wonderful, then came the need for more. Forward several years. I peaked at 7 mgs alprazolam. I bounced around 5-7 mgs for a couple of years, finally landed at 4 mgs. Then divorce. At that point I became determined to just get the hell off it entirely. My Dr. switched me to klonopin to help the taper, which I pretty much figured out on my own. I made it to 2 mgs of klonopin three times before I realized I was just slamming into a wall. I found the Ashton manual, sent a number of links to my Dr. and have finally made a successful switch to diazepam, and have been steadily tapering. I'm now at 20 mgs of diazepam and on the road to zero. I wish it wouldn't be so far out, but I'll get there soon enough.

 

I've essentially been tapering on and off for a few years. I just decided it was time to finish the job. I loathe being asked what I'm taking and why. I hate the mush brain feeling. Mostly I just want to be back to myself again, whoever that is. It's been so long I don't really remember. 

 

Like most people here, I have good and bad days and have learned to recognize and control new symptoms as they occur. I'm thrilled my brain is waking up. I know that no matter how bad it may seem at any given time, there is an end and one day, not too far off, I'll be there. I'm fortunate to have found a place where others understand and I can explain things to my wife who I'd probably not reached this far without.

 

I'm happy to share more about my personal experience with anyone who asks.

 

Cheers

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Hi NitroxGuy

 

Wow, you've done incredibly well to get down to 20 mg Diazapam from 4 mg xanax! You're well on your way to freedom. It looks like you have a really good doctor that knew about benzos, you're very lucky there.

 

There are lots of buddies that share this journey with you, you're not alone.

 

Welcome :)

 

 

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Thanks for support. I had to educate my Dr. as it's been the same one who started me on xanax, then switched to klonopin and now I convinced him that tapering off using a long acting benzo (diazepam) was easiest. I am grateful he was open to the Ashton schedules and after bouncing off the 2 mg klonopin wall three times I'd rather have my s/x with me than the feeling that I'm incapable of handling it. Some days I think I'm just looney, but I'm alive and have halved my dose that I thought I'd never get past.  :idiot:

 

I certainly hope I can help some people out. There's an old saying regarding prison that any time is hard time, and this is the hardest time I can imagine anyone doing.

 

Four walls do not a prison make.

 

Cheers

 

Wow, you've done incredibly well to get down to 20 mg Diazapam from 4 mg xanax! You're well on your way to freedom. It looks like you have a really good doctor that knew about benzos, you're very lucky there.

 

There are lots of buddies that share this journey with you, you're not alone.

 

Welcome :)

 

 

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NG,

 

You certainly have the right attitude.  You words are heartfelt and inspiring.  I look forward to celebrating your benzo freedom!

 

Thanks.

 

Kelly

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Had to educate my doc, but he understood!  Good to see your doing well.  Keep going!  My goal will be education to Providence Hospital of Washington on the Ashton manual.  We MUST change the standard of care to a more humane taper than a sudden cut off by the medical profession. 

 

Good Luck!

Samiam711

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I couldn't agree more. My doc is also in Washington, used to be at one of the UW clinics now in a private practice. Once I talked with him on the phone, and sent him several links we worked out a schedule. I think most doctors are just not aware of the addictive nature of benzos.

 

Here's a scary story that illustrates your point: I had one of my prescriptions come up for a refill, same one I'd had for months. Same dose of klonopin I'd been on for years. The doc called it in, I went to pick it up. No go they say, I should have enough for 30 days and here I was in early, so I had to have my Dr clear it. Turns out he's out of town. No problem, I know his wife is also a Dr. there. She says no and I quote "Good lord, you can do with out klonopin for one day" and hangs up the phone. :o I call back and explain that I'll end up in the emergency room and would send her the bill because I'm flat out angry and embarrassed for looking like a drug seeker. I had kept a couple mgs aside in case of something like this and found them, made it through the night and had my regular Dr. call it in the next day.

 

When the afflicted have to educate the professionals that prescribe these medications about the downsides, it's just humiliating. Anything I can do to help you with your education quest in the form of testimony, written or otherwise, let me know.

 

I'm getting through this, then I'm on the path to educate the medical professionals as best I can.

 

Long is the way and hard, that out of Hell leads up to light ~ John Milton

 

My goal will be education to Providence Hospital of Washington on the Ashton manual.  We MUST change the standard of care to a more humane taper than a sudden cut off by the medical profession.

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[10...]
I'm getting through this, then I'm on the path to educate the medical professionals as best I can.

 

One of my goals as well.

 

In fact, I would like to write a book about my experience!

 

I have to teach my doctor what to do, he's clueless!

 

S#

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I'll buy your first copy  :)

 

 

One of my goals as well.

 

In fact, I would like to write a book about my experience!

 

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