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What to tell my kids


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I know that honesty is the best policy, but I am unsure what to tell my kids about this.  I haven't started to taper yet.  They are ages 16 and 14.  My 14 year old, in particular, is prone to anxiety.  I think this is going to freak them out - mom being addicted and the withdrawal process being so long and not knowing how bad it will be.  I know I can't keep it a total secret, but would like to minimize their fears.  Any thoughts from those of you who have been through this with your kids would be appreciated.  Thanks.

 

Shiloh

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[76...]

Hi Shiloh - I can certainly relate. It breaks your heart doesn't it, feeling so bad for them but hurting so much for yourself at the same time? I've explained to my kiddos (12 and 8) that the process calls for some sacrifice from everyone on the family. There will be days that are sad and scary. For my kids it helped them to know that it meant that those sad and scary means the medicine was working its way out of my body. I reassured them it has nothing to do with them. I also found them a support system because they too are getting scared. I didn't use any words that would frighten them or put a label on anything so as not to worry them more.

 

I do know that what you are doing is incredibly tough but very much a fight worth fighting. Hang in there and as Bev on here has told me "dig in deep." It'll be worth it because you and they are worth it  :)

 

Clem  :smitten:

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[b4...]

I've explained to my kiddos (12 and 8 )

 

Clementine, you mean 8 there ?

 

You can click the emoticons off. I have to do that while using math.

 

Just thought I would tell ya.  :thumbsup: 

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Shiloh,

 

If this helps any, it seems many of us carry around a lot of guilt and shame about this and it makes the process tougher. Interestingly, when I finally blurted out to my mom that I was doing a taper off benzos, she said, "You got them from a doctor, right?" I confirmed that and she said, "Okay, well I hope this goes well. Let me know if you need anything." My point is that we feel more ashamed about it then we should and when we tell people, they are usually more casual about it than we would expect. No one I have told has condemned me yet. They think what I am doing is a positive thing.

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Hi there!

 

I too explained it to my daughter.  She is seven years old.  My husband and I sat her down and explained that Mommy was put on some medication years ago, and that the doctor told Mommy she should keep taking this medication to help mommy feel "better".  But that the doctor was wrong and mommy shouldn't have been on this medication for so long and now in order to come off of it, mommy has to do it very slowly and it can make mommy feel very sick and sad sometimes.  She has seen me in full blown panic attacks...crying spells...doubled over w/ stomach pain...but you know what?  We've explained it so thoroughly that it rarely scares or upsets her.  If anything, she's learned to be strong and a VERY empathetic...she will rub my back or arm and give me a hug.  She does cry once in awhile but says that it just makes her feel sad to see me like this.  We've also gone as far as to explain it to her teachers and principal so that if she EVER felt stressed or worried over it at school, she has 3 people she can go to and trust to talk to.  They have been so understanding and they tell my daughter that her "mommy is very strong to be doing this".  It can be amazing how people respond when you are just honest.  I know it doesn't always happen that way and I've been very fortunate...but by being honest w/ people (and my daughter), I have let go of so much unwanted stress.  

 

I think it is VERY important that when you do choose to speak to them, you explain the strength this takes on YOUR part.  Your kids need to understand that their mom isn't weak b/c she is in pain or crying, etc.  She is STRONG b/c she is facing this head on and she's doing this for a great future.  

 

All the best.  It's hard to do, but sometimes our kids can surprise us.  Honesty is the best in my opinion...hiding things can only create more fear on everyone's part.  

 

Take care,

Schatje

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[76...]

Thanks Sigma...lo  twelve and eight...although twelve and a cool shades face would make the eight yr old happy

 

Hang in there Shiloh  ;)

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Shiloh,

 

My daughters and four and eight.  It's obviously hard to explain benzo w/d to a 4 year old.  We told the girls that mommy was given a type of medicine that the doctors thought would help me but in fact it is making me sick.  It takes time to get off this yucky medicine and that I will be sick for a while.  But that I am working on getting healthy so I can be a good mom for them again.  My 8 year old has had a hard time, but my 4 year old has been very compassionate and prays for me and my "buddies".

 

Hang in there!

Tamzo

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I know that honesty is the best policy, but I am unsure what to tell my kids about this.  I haven't started to taper yet.  They are ages 16 and 14.  My 14 year old, in particular, is prone to anxiety.  I think this is going to freak them out - mom being addicted and the withdrawal process being so long and not knowing how bad it will be.  I know I can't keep it a total secret, but would like to minimize their fears.  Any thoughts from those of you who have been through this with your kids would be appreciated.  Thanks.

 

Shiloh

 

Shiloh Please I wish yu good luck.. You see, I have a 15 year old and a 19 year old.  I am desperate myself.  My daughter does not want to know.  She refuses to understand.. My boy who is 15  is not so interested himself.  I am so sad.. My hubby does not want to get involved with the kids about this.. I am scared also.. I hope this works out for you. I really do.. Let me know how it goes for you.  If you have any advise also let me know.. First work on yourself.. I feel like i lost my daughter, who will be next.. I do not want to be a bummer.  This is my family.. Your's will be different..  Take care and talk to you soon. With all of my luv Mishi

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