New kind of Window

[[Fl...]]

I posted about this in another thread but I think it deserves a topic of its own.

 

The past two days I have been in an entirely new kind of window. Up until yesterday I had experienced two different kinds of windows:

 

1) I just feel "better" than I normally do and am able to function on a slightly higher level.

 

2) My senses begin to awaken and the world around me starts to come alive. One time this was accompanied by a crazy high. These only last for a few hours.

 

In my latest window that hit yesterday my senses didn't come to life, but I now have motivation and energy for the first time in a long, long time.

 

Yesterday I got a ton of work done. Worked on an audio editing project until past midnight. This is HUGE because ever since my taper and even before that I have found it very, very difficult to find the motivation to do anything let alone be able to concentrate on any one thing for more than a couple of seconds.

 

It is hard to describe the way I feel sitting here right now. It's like instead of some kind of force applying downward pressure to my head I now feel like there is something that is pulling me UP. What a stark contrast to the way I have been feeling.

 

Wow. As my body begins to awaken from this zombie-like coma I have been in for the past several years I can clearly see just how messed up I was when I was on these drugs. This is very encouraging and really gives me hope that one day soon I will emerge from this a better person than I ever thought I would be.

 

Time to get back to work!

[[Ho...]]

Great News florida - so happy for you - keep those windows OPEN!!!!!!

[[Fl...]]

Thanks. I just can't wait for all of my senses to come back to me at the same time. That is going to be an amazing feeling!

[[ja...]]

Floridaguy..

 

I myself truely never had a window were I felt completely better..

I just felt like my head cleared and the fog lifted while my sxs were there

just not as bad..Usually a window for me in the first 6 months lasted a few hours at night just to wake to the same old Ground Hogs Day..very discourgeing..

But as time went bye and month 7 came I stood in a window that never truely closed..

You just hang in there soon you will to..

 

..Jenny

[[Pe...]]

I always look forward to reading your posts Jen...thanks for continually giving us hope!

 

I have had the exact 'sort of' windows with mental clarity, or motivation, but lingering physical symptoms - just as you described.  But I have yet to have the energy you described in your last one.  Something to look forward to.  Thanks for sharing FloridaGuy!

[[Su...]]

So happy for you Floridaguy...I'm jealous, but happy for you.

[[Fl...]]

It's as if I was carrying around a weight that was strapped to my head and now that weight has been reduced to the point where I barely feel it.

 

It's funny how it is hard to describe the way I am feeling until I start to feel better. I guess it's understandable though since I have been numbed down by the drug and the subsequent WD for over 4 years.

[[ja...]]

I always look forward to reading your posts Jen...thanks for continually giving us hope!

 

I have had the exact 'sort of' windows with mental clarity, or motivation, but lingering physical symptoms - just as you described.  But I have yet to have the energy you described in your last one.  Something to look forward to.  Thanks for sharing FloridaGuy!

Perserverance...

Thank you so much!!! I just know I went tru the dephts of sheer hell Like all of you

And I didnt have a website or a friend really no1 to talk to about what I was going thru..And I am just so thankful to beable to be at the other end of this tunnel to beable to hopefully bring alittle light to ur darkness...You keep holding onto Hope you will get there..

Jenny

[Guest [Si...]]

Congrats on your window!!!

[[Fl...]]

Just had to run over to the post office and when I got back I started feeling my senses awakening again.

 

Not as intense as last time but walking back to my place I was hit with a few different scents and each time I would perk up and my brain would immediately try to search for something to link it to. The last time this happened I was at the mall and my senses were assaulted (in a good way) bringing up memories from my past.

 

Gotta meet someone for work in a couple of hours but I think I am going to stop somewhere along the way to see this window is going to open up even further!

[[...]]

Isn't it a great feeling to know that you are getting closer and closer to becoming who you want to be, and regain what you have lost!