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Intense fear! Worse than ever. 25 months out. Why?


[Li...]

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I developed this fear about a year ago after my chemical anxiety left. And it has been with me and building over the last year. But the last two weeks has been absolutely unbearable! It's with me 24/7. Tuesday night I had a few hours of a break and it was so amazing. But that is very few and far between. It's relentless. I don't know how to go on. Anyone else have such intense fear this far out and recover from it in a reasonable amount of time? I also have other mental symptoms but not as bad as well as terrible physical ones that have gotten worse in the last two weeks. Two months ago I thought I was doing bad but this is worse than ever. Thanks in advance and hugs to all.

 

LiveLife

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Sent you a message on the support group forum. Did anything happen to trigger the fear at all. Has anything different happened recently. It is so non linear, no matter how far out you are, I was able go away a year ago, no way I could do that at moment. So it can be a real roller coaster. Have you ever tried any therapy, maybe try to get bottom of the fear, in case might  be other factors as well as withdrawal. I’ve had different symptoms crop up at 39 months out, so not unusual. Gone off food, and my tinnitus started again.
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Leann,

 

Thank you so much for your reply. Yes I have done what is called neuro emotional technique. I've actually been doing that process for years now. I also have done some therapy and I do emotional Freedom technique. This fear is really chemical in nature. Nothing has triggered it, it just comes out of the blue and wakes me up at night. I never had this kind of fear before withdrawal occurred. It started last year after the chemical anxiety left and has just been building. It's increased exponentially in the last couple of weeks. It's unreal. But nothing in my life has changed.

 

And thank you for the post in the 12 to 24 month group I did read it it was very encouraging.

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Hopefully someone else who experiences this will be able to help. These mental symptoms are hardest things to deal with, you feel like you’re going crazy. I do think these things do vary in intensity, hopefully they will ease soon for you. Wish I could suggest something to help you more.🥰
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Leann,

 

Yes! These mental symptoms can make you feel like you are going crazy. They are some of the worst. When I get a bit of a break from the mental symptoms I can deal with my physical ones even though they can be extremely horrible as well. Thank you so much for your replies. It means a lot.

 

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Just looked up there are lot of forums for people with night terrors, maybe try one of them, might be able give you some advice and support? I know yours are chemical but sometimes helps to talk to others experiencing them.
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I am stuck in the same nightmare at 26 months out. The panic and fear and anxiety reigning through my head are absolutely intolerable. Haven’t found a single thing that can dull it whatsoever. It’s at its worst in the middle of the night when’s I can’t sleep but trying to force it…. Laying in bed and thinking and causing it to get worse and worse. I’m sorry you’re going through this. The only thing I want out of life is for this to stop. Nothing else. Just stop. I definitely empathize with you.
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Hi Live,

 

I experienced the fear you describe from month 22-27. It was horrific snd I thought it would never end. I think it was triggered by a reaction to my Covid booster, and a steroid injection in my shoulder. I have no way of knowing that for sure. It may have been my brain’s way of finally healing.

 

The fear started getting better slowly. I had knee surgery in March and it set me back a little. I’m doing so much better now at 30 months. I believe we all heal in our way way and time frame.

 

I know the fear you describe, and I pray you get relief soon. I did my best to distract, but it was so hard at times. It does get better, Live.

 

Hugs. Sandy

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Fatagtr,

 

Do you live with family or on your own? Have you been able to work at all? I have not. I agree with you this fear, panic and anxiety is absolutely horrible I also get agitation, internal tension and depression. If these mental symptoms could go away I feel like I could deal with the physical ones. It's unbelievable!

 

Hugs!

 

LiveLife

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Sandy,

Thank you for your reply. I'm so glad this fear and anxiety is gone for you. I'm happy to hear that you've been doing as well as you have. Feeling this horrific makes it impossible to distract. Sure hope this passes for me soon because it is unbearable. Hugs!

 

LiveLife

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I live alone and I swear that compounds my problems tremendously especially with the panic/anxiety. I have nasty day long panic attacks just thinking about loneliness and freaking out over what happens if something bad happens and I don’t have a person in the world I can call. It seems to me like my entire life has setup this withdrawal for destruction. I’m sure having people or a family in your life can come with it’s own set of problems and issues but to me being alone is the absolute worst feeling when it comes to panic.
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I'm so sorry. I'm sure that does make it much more challenging. I have a husband and my children are grown so they don't live at home. My husband's been very supportive but this really stresses him out. He works from home and that has been a big plus for me because with all this intense fear lately I can't even stand to be alone. I'm unable to work. Are you able to work?
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Well that's great you're able to still work and you can handle the music. My husband plays in a band and he rehearses at home and I can barely handle the sound. And it's really sad because I've always loved music and it never bothered me before. Can't wait for that part of this whole thing to heal. It's the sensory overload. And I had my own business doing emotional healing technique and Allergy desensitization for people. I'm unable to work and I really miss it. So looking forward to Healing. I know we both will, we have to hold on to that thought and it could be close because we're pretty far out. Let's hope at least some of our major symptoms settle down soon. Hugs!

 

LiveLife

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Well that's great you're able to still work and you can handle the music. My husband plays in a band and he rehearses at home and I can barely handle the sound. And it's really sad because I've always loved music and it never bothered me before. Can't wait for that part of this whole thing to heal. It's the sensory overload. And I had my own business doing emotional healing technique and Allergy desensitization for people. I'm unable to work and I really miss it. So looking forward to Healing. I know we both will, we have to hold on to that thought and it could be close because we're pretty far out. Let's hope at least some of our major symptoms settle down soon. Hugs!

 

LiveLife

 

I do wish you relief and the best. You’ve been very kind. No one deserves to go through this torture and torment. I thought I was doing the right thing and a good thing by getting off benzos until all this happened. Part of me lost sight of the original goal since I’m in so much agony

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Thank you. You are right no one deserves to go through this torture and torment. But don't ever regret getting off of benzos you made the right choice. Everyone heals. Don't know if you've had a chance to do much reading in the success stories or any of the therapists like Baylissa or Jennifer Leigh. I have done a lot of reading and been encouraged by the success stories. And those therapists themselves went through benzo withdrawal and Recovery. And they say everyone heals and once you get through it you're going to be better than you've ever been even before you ever took the first pill. So just try and hold on to that thought as we're going through this. It's going to be the hardest thing we've ever had to do in our lives and it will make us stronger than ever and more resilient when we're finished. It definitely isn't easy to stay positive when you're suffering so much. Hugs!

 

LiveLife

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