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Hello!

Sorry for my bad english, Im not native speaker

 

I was using xanax 3 mg daily for 3 months. And than I decide it’s time to quit. I skipped middle dose and two days later I was  in hell. From that point i was decreasing dosage by 0,5 mg/2 weeks, in later phase by 0,25. I jumped from 0,25. It was suffering beyond human capacity. My total time on xanax was 6-7 months.

 

I was slowly doing better, I started going out my house and meeting with my friends. Everything was so optimistic and healing was linear. Than the 3,5 month arrived and I’m doing worse than acute. Fatigue, dpdr, headaches, brain fog, thinking that it’s brain tumor/cancer/heart problems. No life at all, only suffering

 

I’m bedridden again and looking for any kind of optimism because I’m totally defeated. My psychiatrist told me than benzo Withdrawal last only for 10 days. Nobody believes me

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HelloOnceanormalhumanbeign, welcome to BenzoBuddies,

 

We believe you, we know that our recovery is NOT linear and we can get tossed around by these symptoms that can change at anytime for any reason, please don't be discouraged.  You're still recovering even though it feels like you've gone backwards.  Are you drinking alcohol, are you keeping stress to a minimum, are you educating yourself about this process so you'll fear it less?

 

We're glad you found us, I'll provide some resources and links but please ask questions, we're here to help.

 

Pamster

 

The Ashton Manual

 

Post-withdrawal Recovery Support

 

Cold Turkey, Detox & Rapid

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Thanks!

 

I’m not using alcohol or even a caffeine.

 

I live in country where there is no knowledge about benzo withdrawal so it’s impossible to get any help.

 

Month ago I was swimming in a pool like old me, right now I’m going through nightmare worse than acute phase.

 

All i want is to be a normal human beign again.

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Its good to see you're not complicating your healing process with alcohol, I had to give up caffeine for awhile too, it was too simulating. 

 

Our symptoms wax and wane, do you keep track of yours?  I didn't so I couldn't tell when I was getting better because my poor sick brain kept telling me I'd never recover. 

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I am tracking my sympthoms and looking for any kind of pattern.

 

But for the last 4 weeks everything got so much worse in every aspect that I’m starting to lose hope

 

One of the worst thing about it is intruding thoughts that I’m dying.

 

There are moments in which I feel better (usually at evening) but at the morning everything starts again - extreme attacks of dpdr (very lsd like!) and after that horrifying weakness and fatigue. Later headaches, than another wave of dpdr. And so on. It’s no way to live. But I will try to do my best

 

 

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A little update.

 

One hour after last post I’ve had best night since last month. Syndroms free.

 

Since that night, things are getting a little better. Certainly not a window, Im still fatigued/sleepy and head still hurts but dpdr is getting managable and optimism have returned.

 

I finally went for a little walk and watched few movies.

 

Maybe I’m entering new phase, who knows.

 

I’ve never would have knowned that my worst month will be 3-4. This is a truely terryfing drug

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The way our symptoms wax and wane really plays with our emotions, we never know how we're going to feel from one day to the next, heck, one minute to the next is more like it.  Many of our members say mornings are the worst for them so you're not alone.

 

I'm very happy to hear your symptoms lifted, this absolutely means this is all benzo related, nothing else comes and goes like this so if/when things get bad again, try to remind yourself this is temporary.  A very long temporary but it will end.

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Unfortunately the nightmare has returned today :(

 

I really was in better place during acute.

 

Kinda afraid what tomorrow will bring.

 

It’s so hard to imagine life without benzo tortures, but I know that one day I will be back to my old self (hopefully)

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I know this is a horrible way to live but I'm so thankful for your last sentence," but I know that one day I will be back to my old self (hopefully)."  This will end even though your brain isn't allowing you to see this, to know this and to believe this.  Have you seen this thread?  Benzo Lies That Have Been Busted
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I’ve just read this, very good and helpfull stuff! Benzo wd is a liar but a very talented one indeed.

 

Thank you very much!

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