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Mom Watching 27yo Daughter Taper


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Hi. My 27yo daughter is tapering and it's difficult to watch (from afar). We've had to block her calls and revert to emailing b/c phone calls aren't working for anyone in our family.

She's limited in what she'll tell us about her taper, but she is getting off of the low dose of Ativan that she's been on for about 3 years. 

I'm struggling with all of these childhood memories that are popping up in her mind. It appears we didn't do anything right and often the memories are distorted and off-kilter. And memories that seem somewhat inconsequential (at least to us) are now at a 10 on a scale of 1-10 for her. Sigh.

We provided a loving, safe home, although we would never admit to being perfect. This journey on anti-depressants and Ativan started in her 20's in college.

Any advice on how to respond? How did you all respond to such vivid memories? Did they eventually settle down?

Thank you all so very much.

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Hello FishOuttaWater, welcome to BenzoBuddies,


I'm pleased to hear your daughter is tapering from this medication but I'm sure it's rough on you, what we go through to be free of these drugs is inhuman.  I'm not exaggerating, we lose all connection to ourselves and others, we feel like strangers and lose our ability to feel love, joy and pleasure, all we have are negative feelings, intrusive memories and pain.


We do eventually heal but it takes a long time, typically months and sometimes years after we become drug free.  I'm glad you're protecting yourselves but hope you can educate yourself about what she's going through, she's going to need you and while I understand you can't allow this now, I hope you can someday.


I'm so very glad you reached out to us, please use the forum to ask questions or to find resources to help you better understand what your daughter is going through.  She's fighting an almost impossible battle that not many win but its possible to come out of this and I hope you'll be there for her when she does.




Colorado Consortium Benzodiazepine Deprescribing Guidelines


Planning Your Withdrawal (Taper)


Withdrawal Support (during your taper)






The Ashton Manual




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Hi Mom, I am probably nearer your age than your daughters and I have just quit Lorazepam. It was brutal and still is.

I also am having awful past memories about what a terrible mother I was!  I don’t think I actually was but our brains are all out of sync and reality is distorted.

If you have shown your daughter unconditional love in the past, then I’m sure she will have that knowledge somewhere stored away.

I wish my mother was around!

Hang in there.


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I should add that at 4 months off Ativan, I am experiencing some very good days, better than I’ve been in years. It’s a bit of a rollercoaster but I hope to recover……it just takes time. I hope you can convince your daughter that she will be well again……it just takes time. All good wishes.


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