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34 months off CT after 15 years of prescribed Valium


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I am okay and I do most of my life.  I walk a mile or two each day, sleep 5-8 hours a night.  I can watch tv, go out to movies, go out to dinner, the gym, the lake, swimming, cook, clean as I did before for the most part.  I drive and take care of what I have to.  I still have physical sx that are with me 24-7 no let up unless I am busy and not focusing on this.  My mental stuff has improved but the one that still bothers me is the ocd stuff.  I don’t know if anyone can relate that is this far out as I don’t come here much as I did.  I know I have seen so much improvement. I was in really rough shape in acute and most who know my story know this.  I will continue to update until I don’t feel the need.  The best advice is to educate yourself and stay away from anything that upsets you.  Nothing has helped this that I have found.  I am not sensitive to anything nothing makes it worse or better for me.    I am a slow healer and accepting this has been impossible for me.  Keep going all and take care.  Peace

 

U

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Thanks kanoba

 

I do have a question for anyone reading this who may have seen any improvements with the ocd?  I want to know how it went away?  Did it fade or just disappeared over night.  Mine can be quite maddening at times.  Any suggestions please let me know.  I see a benzo wise therapist who says I just need to hold on and wait this out?  Unfortunately that is not a option for me.  Life goes on. 

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You've improved quite a bit Upperleft, I'm happy to see you can do so many things but wish full recovery would happen.

 

I don't know much about it but doing a brief google search I wondered what type and symptoms you have, I guess you didn't have this before you started benzo's?  Is your condition true OCD or is it more intrusive thoughts, has it led to any compulsions?

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No I did not have it before and yes it’s the intrusive thoughts and anxiety.  Along with my other stuff it’s really hard Pamster!
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Also any help with the IBD?  I have tried many probiotics nothing helped or hindered it I also took Support mucosa no affect bad or good.  Any ideas?  Please let me know
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I’m 40 months off, most things including physical symptoms have improved. I think being made CT against my will caused my intrusive thoughts. Both thoughts and anxiety haven’t improved at all. Tried CBT and exposure therapy but nothing helps. Very limited to what I can do. Mild at first, got lot worse at about 10 months. Wish could give you some advise, but still struggling myself. I think any stress makes mine lot worse. Do you have compulsions or is it mainly thoughts?
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No I do not have compulsions.  I am alone and caring for a child so I do my life irregardless not a option. They are better then in acute. You are not the only one under stress.  Mine is constant 24-7 and not going to go away.  The one thing I advise is to do your life.  There is no help.  If this is as good as it gets for me then I will cope with it.  I will not give up or stop trying.  I am grateful for what I have.  I don’t complain or say a word about this to anyone outside of here.  Stay away from Facebook groups and find something to do.  I am volunteering at a thrift store to get out of the house and stay busy in my free time.  Anything is better then ruminating on this 24-7. 
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  • 3 weeks later...

Upper I’m so proud of you! I’m pretty sure with a bit more time, that OCD will fade out. Slowly as your other symptoms did. You’re to be congratulated on holding down your fort regardless of your symptoms. Being alone with a kid going through this is no joke! Wow! I’m in the same boat. So I understand what you mean. The fact that you can drive, go places, do things is very wonderful to read. I’m encouraged by this. That I’ll soon be able to do those things too. Thank you for taking the time to update us. There’s many of us who need posts like this.  :thumbsup:

Big hugs 🤗

 

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  • 3 weeks later...

That's awesome. We are both at 3 years, I remember briefly talking to you through the forum a couple years ago. I'm doing my normal life stuff now as well, cooking and cleaning and shopping and doing normal people things.

 

I also got diagnosed with ocd, but I don't know if it's the actual medical condition, or if it is pill-induced. I think all of this is still way too early to determine, so I'm doing like you and just living my life and accepting it.

 

I saw that you were volunteering at a thrift store, good for you. I still can't wrap my head around doing any kind of work for other people. I'm not sure if it will always be this way, or if I will want to start doing things in life again such as working.

 

I took Valium and Klonopin right around 20 years, at very high doses. We were both on them for a long time, so I guess it's just taking us a while. But the bright news, we're almost there. Keep on fighting, and so will I.

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  • 1 month later...

Upperleft,

 

I just saw this. I am sorry you are still dealing with mental (OCD) symptoms.... BUT it sounds like you are able to do life & that is great! 

 

I know you have no choice as a parent to push through, but the fact that you're volunteering to keep yourself busy is amazing!

I would entertain such a thing myself, but I'm not physically able to do so yet. I couldn't imagine driving somewhere, parking, & fulfilling a shift & being physically able to be accountable to do such a thing yet. The fact that you're able to do that is great! I have however started working part time on my own terms from home and that helps me feel human.

 

I did have a little party for my birthday this past weekend at my house and it was very enjoyable & I had no problems at all. My body physically was able to handle it with flying colors. This is the first time I have tried to do something like that. I actually have not had guests at my house for 3 years due to my illness & mostly because of Covid. We wore masks and hung out outside mostly..  but it was a really good time. I am needing to rest now post party because it did wear me out. The party itself did not wear me out. It was all the prep & cleaning of the house that did.

 

Before being around a few people would just physically drain me or make me feel weak or wobbly sometimes. There was a time when I would have chemical anxiety from the over stimulation of people that I would sometimes have issues swallowing food. Crazy how that was such a problem at one time.

 

Keep moving forward. I think the OCD will fade for you with time. Some symptoms hang on longer, but it goes away with time.

 

- Fortitude  :)

 

 

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