Jump to content

A typical day 5 months off.


[c0...]

Recommended Posts

[c0...]

Hi all.

 

I am having trouble wrapping my head around all this. Everytime something feels horrible, emotionally or physically, it's hard for me to accept it's withdrawal and I go down a rabbit-hole of fear.

 

Does this in anyway sound familiar to others experiences?

 

-8 AM: Wake up. Get a surge of cortisol/adrenaline/energy.  Used to be really scary and now I've kind of gotten used to it.

-8-9 AM: Sometimes eating, makes anxiety worse.

-10 AM: Within an hour or two, totally crash. It seems like the cortisol is wearing off plus being exhausted from eating, or something having to do with blood sugar dropping despite being in normal ranges. Sometimes shower.

-10 AM-3 PM: Severe, bone-crushing fatigue, DPDR, weakness. Feels like my soul is leaving my body or I'm literally in the process of losing my life. Horrible brain fog just feels totally out of it and mentally not there. Very dizzy and very weak.

-Anytime I eat in between here, I get a surge of anxiety, sometimes energy, and it irritates my body and nerves. The process of my blood sugar coming down makes everything worse despite normal levels. Feels like I'm losing my mind. Can barely move.

-3 PM-10 PM: Either get better or worse. Sometimes the cortisol drops and I just feel tired but some of the other symptoms ease up. Other times, I get severe body agitation, depression, fatigue, etc. This seems to be dependent on my monthly cycle.

-10 PM: Things ease up at night, I think largely due to lack of stimulation and I'm already tired. I feel less anxious at night and my mood lightens a bit. Will get some things done or occasionally go out. Still usually physically fatigued and tired.

 

I basically feel like my body is going to give out 24/7. During the day, it feels like my brain and body are stopping, and Im often weak, dizzy and feel like I have mono.

 

Can withdrawal cause this five months out, or is this something else more sinister?

 

Need reassurance. Thank you.

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

That actually sounds pretty standard issue for withdrawal. I guarantee you 100 percent around month 6 or 7 you will have windows.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Reading your words brought back bad memories but also good ones.

 

I remember 4 months in I got hit with a wave like this. Cortisol rush woke me up at 6 am with bad nausea and dread. Had to immediately go for a 30 minute walk. Once I returned it was constant fighting with my negative thoughts, pacing and telling myself that I had to have something much worse going on than just withdrawal. I remember staring at the clock for 5pm to come along because that is when the restlessness abated just enough for me to lay down and try to ignore my burning skin and feelings of dread. Repeat the same thing the next day. Lasted for just a little over a month.

 

Then one day it subsided and a long window followed bringing some of the best memories of my life. Just feeling closer to normal after that hell felt like total bliss.

 

Don't know if it will help, but in the evening I watched tons of cartoon comedies. They didn't make laugh but distracted me just enough to pass the time. I came out of that wave 10 lbs lighter and with a greater appreciation for the smaller things in life that I took for granted before withdrawal ever came into my life.

 

Do your best to ride it out and don't be afraid to reach out for help if you feel overwhelmed.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sounds like a typical day for me and I just hit 6 months post taper. It’s definitely withdrawal. Praying we get some relief soon.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm 5 months off and you pretty much nailed it....basiclly bedridden all day with a little walking up n down my hallway to the kitchen n back to bed. I still have not left the house in the last 2 years
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Absolutely endured the same thing. Slight different in that even if I felt a slight energy raise after eating ...my legs were still too weak to walk. But I sure tried.

5 months.....was totally at my worst in lots of ways.

I'm so sorry!!!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This sounds so familiar.  My tapering history is complicated  by having to get off 2 benzos and some Gabapentin thrown into the mix.  But what you describe was my reality for months.... I am reassured when I read these posts, because I think, "yeah, it was that awful".  Still is...when I'm in a wave..  but I'm getting some very functional hours here and there, now....

Hang in there..... :smitten:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

[c0...]
Thanks for the encouraging posts every one. Seeing others going through this has encouraged me to keep going and that healing is happening.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yes, this sounds very familiar to me.  I wake up at 8am and am very tense.  When I first eat, I get a surge of energy and/or get quite tense.  At night after I eat dinner, I either still get a bit tense after eating or I get sleepy. 

 

My theory on this is that my body is secreting some sort of substance when I eat, particularly when I eat big meals.  (Possibly this is GABA and my body just hasn't balanced out regulating it yet).  When I eat a large meal, my body tries to counterbalance this with glutamate but it doesn't quite produce enough.  The next time I eat, the meal is smaller so the GABA secretion doesn't happen much but the glutamate surge that my body learned from eating the big meal is still there and is INTENSE.  Breakfast and lunch aren't large meals so when I eat in the morning and at lunch my body is just triggering it's learned glutamate reaction. 

 

Over time the amount of GABA released from eating large meals gradually lessens.  This process has been happening for quite a long time and gradually.  My theory as to why I'm sometimes just tense after eating dinner is that it's a glutamate reaction leftover from a previous large meal.  But when I get sleepy after eating food later in the day, its a GABA DUMP happening.  I've gotten to the point where after I eat, that GABA is starting to feel more spread out.  Our brains are always seeking homeostasis.  Therefore eventually the brains learns not to dump all its glutamate at once after eating eventually.  The good news is that if you feel you have the same thing as me, it does continuously improve.  This is just a theory and it really does not seem to be the case with many people.  Do you also get alternating high and low moods after eating? 

 

I also sometimes get blood sugar fluctuations that make me very irritable. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...
[c0...]

Yes, this sounds very familiar to me.  I wake up at 8am and am very tense.  When I first eat, I get a surge of energy and/or get quite tense.  At night after I eat dinner, I either still get a bit tense after eating or I get sleepy. 

 

My theory on this is that my body is secreting some sort of substance when I eat, particularly when I eat big meals.  (Possibly this is GABA and my body just hasn't balanced out regulating it yet).  When I eat a large meal, my body tries to counterbalance this with glutamate but it doesn't quite produce enough.  The next time I eat, the meal is smaller so the GABA secretion doesn't happen much but the glutamate surge that my body learned from eating the big meal is still there and is INTENSE.  Breakfast and lunch aren't large meals so when I eat in the morning and at lunch my body is just triggering it's learned glutamate reaction. 

 

Over time the amount of GABA released from eating large meals gradually lessens.  This process has been happening for quite a long time and gradually.  My theory as to why I'm sometimes just tense after eating dinner is that it's a glutamate reaction leftover from a previous large meal.  But when I get sleepy after eating food later in the day, its a GABA DUMP happening.  I've gotten to the point where after I eat, that GABA is starting to feel more spread out.  Our brains are always seeking homeostasis.  Therefore eventually the brains learns not to dump all its glutamate at once after eating eventually.  The good news is that if you feel you have the same thing as me, it does continuously improve.  This is just a theory and it really does not seem to be the case with many people.  Do you also get alternating high and low moods after eating? 

 

I also sometimes get blood sugar fluctuations that make me very irritable.

 

Yes, I definitely get the mood swings. I'll eat and my OCD and racing thoughts will get worse, but sometimes I almost feel happier or manic a bit, and then it swings down to the "downer" moods, and dpdr, when it drops. It's like being on a roller coaster.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

×
×
  • Create New...