Advice reinstate

[[ne...]]

Hi, I'm 25 and here in the UK. I've had GAD and Agoraphobia for about 6 years now. Lots of ups and downs along the way. I have received on and off therapy several times and medication to help. I've been prescibed SSRI's during this time and have been on them for the majority of my journey. I'm currently taking Escitalopram 20mg and 80-100mg of propanolol a day (beta blocker). When I first had a breakdown/crisis i had a medical intervention with a Psychiatrist and Psycologist. Because I was in such a dark place they gave me diazepam 2mg to take 3x a day or when needed. I was petrified of all medication but I trusted them and they worked I  took them for a short while and then came off of them after reading about addiction and dependency but no longer needed it because I was feeling much better, this was maybe 5 years ago. Over the years i've rarely taken diazepam. On average I use it maybe once or twice a year. Sometimes I have to stay on for a few weeks other times I only need 1mg once.  I have read so many horror stories and been advised by people not to touch it because they had such bad withdrawals I always find it so hard to take it until i'm forced. I've done so much self-help and therapy but sometimes I become so troubled by the panic I end up very low and i'm currently in a crisis were i'm so frightened to even be alone i'm pretty much forcing my mum to stay over at my house and today I felt like she couldn't even leave or i'd spiral and have to ring for emergency help (my worst fear). I phoned the out of hours mental health team and the mental health nurse said to use the diazepam until I receive some support again. I've only experienced withdrawals once after 6 weeks of use at a very low dose I tapered off and I had bad shakes and a little bit of anxiety but nothing major. This time however i've read so much about rebound anxiety and kindling that i'm worried if I start using it for a few days or weeks that i'm going to end up worse off and hospitalised. I don't know what to do. My mum needs to go home and I need to do something but there is nothing especially on a weekend every place is closed I can't get any advice. Can anyone give me some advice on what to do? I've been advised to take 2mg of diazepam or more if needed but i'm not sure what I should do. Will I get rebound anxiety? Am i kindling myself? What would you do.

 

Thanks for reading

[[Ka...]]

Hello needanyc,

 

Welcome to BenzoBuddies, we are glad you are here!  I am so sorry you are in a crisis right now - I've been there myself but I learned the hard way that benzos are not a long-term solution to problems.  It is my hope that you can get the help you need without resorting to benzos.  Reinstatement does not work for everyone and if one keeps going back to them as a solution, new ways of dealing with life are never found.  It is my hope that you can locate some local, in-person help today so that you can begin to feel safe again.

 

Kate08

Admin Team

[[ne...]]

Hi thanks for the reply, I’m sorry you’ve also dealt with hard times. I know they are not a long term solution but right now I don’t think I have any option apart from this or being hospitalised. Its a Sunday and I can’t get any help in person or even on the phone. Incredibly tough position.

[[ma...]]

So sorry for what you are going through, I hope you get to speak to someone face to face.  There is no easy way with benzos, if you reinstate you will still need to taper.  I know how tough it gets, Ive been there.  Whatever you choose to do, you will get plenty of support and encouragement on this forum.

 

Magrita