Tolerance/Relative WD and Holding

[[he...]]

I started my taper after realizing the broken sleep and anxiety that had cropped up were a result of the clonazepam and not "my underlying anxiety coming back" as the professionals wanted to tell me.

 

So I didn't start my taper until I already had some symptoms. Does that mean I'm in a tolerance/relative WD? I have had some symptoms the whole time with some windows here and there and at least one day where I had zero symptoms, but many days feel like a wave, at least in part.

 

Two weekends ago, after trialing crushing tablets and encapsulating for five days, I decided to go back to filing tablets and holding, and that weekend I had some really nice windows. After that weekend, I went back to my DMT at my standard rate until just a few days ago when I decided to hold, and I've really been struggling with days that are full of my typical symptoms (fog, anxiety, and GI) and some where intrusive thoughts and SI have flooded back in (hadn't had this in months). The GI stuff had actually gone a way for awhile. It seems like it goes away when my body likes my taper rate.

 

But my questions are: am I really in a situation of tolerance/relative withdrawal, and can a hold really help someone in my situation to stabilize a bit? I feel like short holds (up to a week) have helped in the past when life events have become overwhelming, but I've also been told it's not possible for a hold to help in tolerance/relative WD. Am I wasting my time trying to hold to get more stable? Should I just keep tapering down? Should I start focusing on my nighttime dose and even up the doses for more stability?

[[je...]]

Sometimes it can be really difficult and frustrating making sense of our symptoms. I believe prior to my taper I was starting to experience tolerance. I struggled with insomnia which I never did before benzo's and I shouldn't have had on 2mg of K. I also experienced increased anxiety and sometimes panic attacks. However I personally feel there's a difference in full blown tolerance vs starting to see some symptoms. Since mine was gradually developing I don't feel I was in tolerance and don't believe it has an effect on my taper. I merely consider myself lucky that I got out in time.

 

I also hit a rough patch at 0.400mg (I believe you asked me about this on another thread). My normal symptoms got much worse and I think I needed to hold for about 6 weeks before I felt relief. I was very discouraged that it took this long but so glad I took the time. I returned to baseline.

 

During this setback I also examined everything and made so many changes in an attempt to gain more control. In the end I'm still not sure what caused the setback. My best guess would be that my taper rate just got too much for me. I think a lot of the time we don't want to admit that a relatively low taper rate is still too high because we don't want to drag the taper out even more. Then impatience becomes our downfall.

 

Now that I have long covid I have reluctantly surrendered to however long it takes and my wd symptoms are completely under control.

 

If I were you I would rather hold than updose. At least give it a bit more time. I really hope you feel better soon.

[[he...]]

Thank you for your response, jb. That's how it was for me too. I had insomnia start and some anxiety was creeping in, so maybe it wasn't full-blown tolerance, but it definitely seemed like the medicine was having a paradoxical effect. My doctor even said, "If it's not working for you, just stop taking it!" The lack of knowledge is astounding.

 

I've gotten differing opinions, but I think I should continue holding for a bit. It sounds like it worked for you. I'm just scared to hold for a month or more and keep waiting for things to even out.

[[je...]]

Good luck. Really hope it gets better. Keep us updated!

[[Wa...]]

To the person who has long covid I have a question for you. Are your long-haul symptoms worse then benzo withdrawal? God bless you I'm always so worried about this

[[je...]]

To the person who has long covid I have a question for you. Are your long-haul symptoms worse then benzo withdrawal? God bless you I'm always so worried about this

 

Yes, unfortunately it is. I never recovered after Covid infection. I was functional during my taper but had to take extended leave from work since getting Covid. I'm getting better though. It's slow but getting better.

[[he...]]

I'm wondering if I was affected by COVID as well. my taper has been much harder ever since we all had Omicron in January. I went into ventricular tachycardia 3.5 weeks after symptoms started, so I know COVID affected more than just my respiratory system. I could be dealing with WD and some long COVID as well. I just don't know. I was having many more windows before COVID. And the strangest thing is I had my only zero-symptom day during this whole thing the day COVID symptoms started (at night).

[[je...]]

hereforhelp, I would not be surprised if you have lingering Covid symptoms. I am on LH Covid support groups and from what I gather Covid also attacks the CNS. A lot of the symptoms are very much the same as benzo wd. There are people on those groups who have much more severe symptoms than I have and others who have lingering symptoms but are functional. Some people fully recovered from their initial Covid infection only to crash a month or so after with debilitating symptoms. Unfortunately there's just not enough research available on the subject.

 

That's why I'm taking my taper slow and it's been working because I can see an improvement in my Covid symptoms even though I'm tapering.

[[he...]]

What an awful virus. I'm just going to go slow too. Holding doesn't seem to be helping me. I'm hoping I can keep tapering down and a least have manageable symptoms. It's been a rough couple of weeks. I was hit so hard yesterday on Mother's Day. I felt like a terrible husband and son, but I did the best I could to make my wife and mom feel special. This crap really works on you to make you feel worthless, and I know that's not true deep down I hate it so much.