Prescription and buying extra from other source.Scared to go to doctor or p-doc

[[Ha...]]

I have struggled with anxiety and depression for over thirty years and have been on all antidepressants and some other meds. None have ever really helped me. Over ten years ago I was prescribed a small monthly amount of 5 mg diazepam (two to be taken when required). I slowly started to use more than this and started to buy extra online. After all this time I am at 20 mg I reached tolerance over 2 years ago and and am struggling terribly 24 hours a day with social anxiety, sleep. I have tried to taper unsuccessfully and am trying to hold on to my part time job.

 

I need to approach my doctor and psychiatrist about this but terrified of being cut off from my prescription, being told to taper too quickly and the shame of having to admit I have been getting diazepam from an illegal source. I doubt there will be any sympathy. I am at my wits end.

 

Any advice /support would be appreciated.

[[Li...]]

Hi Harmonia. You should never feel you need to apologise to your health provider because you have been suffering with anxiety. Any personal actions you took had good intentions they were not for recreational purposes. Get hold of a copy of the Ashton manual from this site and take it along to your doctor and tell them you need their support in withdrawing safely from the drug. They have to support you.

[[Pa...]]

I'm so sorry you're facing this but I think you're doing the right thing, I'm sure it's been very stressful living like this which of course is contributing to your anxiety and fear. 

 

Who do you have the best relationship with, your psychiatrist or GP, who has prescribed the Valium?  What I would do is gather as much information as you can about the proper way to taper, starting with this document and print it out and take it to one of them.  Colorado Consortium Benzodiazepine Deprescribing Guidelines

 

I'd write down all of the conditions I've been dealing with for so many years and humbly ask for help.  It seems to me if you're armed with information and you stick to a script about what you've been doing and how much you want to be free of the drug without a lot of emotion you may be able to reach one of them.

 

 

[[Ha...]]

Thanks for your replies. I was prescribed my diazepam by a p-doc over ten years ago. I haven't seen him since then. As an outpatient I've seen so many doctors come and go.

I am preparing myself to see my p-doc in June if I can struggle on till then. I've been in touch with other people who have wanted to taper who have been either cut off from their prescription or have been encouraged to taper as quickly as possible.

When the time comes I will take the information with me but I don't expect a positive outcome to be honest, especially due to acquiring diazepam illicitly.