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23 month check-in: still slowly improving


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Hello Friends,

 

It’s been a while since I’ve posted an update, which I think is a sign of improvement. These past few months have been a new and interesting chapter in healing: re-engaging with life with a sensitized nervous sytem. For the first 18 months of recovery, healing has looked like a slooooooowly rising baseline with mostly mental sx’s (anxiety, depression, akathisia, insomnia). I lived a very regime ted lifestyle, so eventually sleep improved even though my mental health was still suffering.

 

In January, I turned a corner when I started getting excited about things again. I got into a TV series, resurrected my twitter and jumped into the online community. This had its ups and downs because on the one hand I felt genuinely engaged with the world around me, but my system was so fragile that it wrecked my sleep once again. A few months on and this is still a problem, but I’m doing more things that make me happy. I’m visiting friends for a month, went on my first sailing trip and started a bunch of community organizing initiative through the social media community I’ve cultivated. When I feel down, I get down on myself that some aspects of healing have slid backward. But now that I’m writing, I realize that I’m genuinely happy to feel synchronized with the world and like I can do good for others again. This process is nonlinear and I’m sure has given me new perspective and focus on how I want to live my life. Though I admit I’m still waiting for the day when I feel stable enough in myself to say that the process is now behind me.

 

Thanks for just being there. Even though I don’t post often, I still come back to remind myself that I’m on this journey with others and many have come before us. It’s comforting and puts everything back into a frame of humility and gratitude.

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Its good you've been stretching yourself a bit but I can see you've had to learn what can cause distress.  I've found humility and gratitude to be very important to my recovery from both alcohol and benzodiazepines, I'm glad to see it in you.
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Sounds good congrats and, thanks for updating... 17 months out, Kindled very slowly improvemens Also take Ca
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