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About 5 1/2 months benzo free... feeling much better. But still not me


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So I must say i wanted to put this in the success story area b/c for what its worth i do feel way better.  i'm much less socially paralyzed and i get spurts of normal.  But i must also say that i'm having trouble gauging my improvement.  i'm having trouble remembering how i was and who i was prior to this mess.  that's kind of where i am today just trying to acknowledge the good things but i can't help but notice the things that i feel wouldn't have been me prior to benzos.  i'm certainly much much better but i'm also just having difficulty figuring out how close to normal i'm getting.

 

it does get better people.  next month will be better than this month and so on and so forth.  when will you be able to say you're 100% back to normal?  well the jury's still out for me.

 

Any feedback would be great.

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Hi Sanatee,

 

I've moved your post from the Success Stories board because while you can tell you've improved, you're just not there yet.  But to feel as well as you do at only five and a half months is amazing, really!  I know you wish you felt better by now, but at least you can see some improvement.  The only way I was able to see it was to look back to the very first days, then I knew. 

 

Hang in there, you'll know without a doubt when you've reached 100%, it's wonderful!

 

Pam

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Feeling less socially paralyzed and getting spurts of normalcy is nothing to sneeze at  ;)  It can be very difficult to gauge our improvement, a lot of the times we are all too eager to forget the horrors of how we used to feel.  Since we live in the moment and each minute/day barely feels any different from the previous, 'noticeable' progress can appear quite elusive.  It may be beneficial for you to keep a log/journal either online or offline about how you feel every day.  Perhaps jot down symptoms that left or new symptoms and give them an intensity rating. You'd be surprised at how much you have improved.

 

You are only 5 months out, still below the typical 6-18 months it usually takes to get back to normal.  I am 5 weeks out and I don't know what to expect because of my messy past with benzos and alcohol.  Just learning to take things day by day.  I no longer feel like I am living minute by minute like I was for awhile, and I will toast to that (non-alcoholic toast of course).  

 

Knowing when you are normal may be like knowing when you are in love? You'll know it when it happens.  It could happen fairly quickly, but most likely it will be gradual.

 

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I was at a similar place at 5 months off, where I felt much better but also was not at 100%. I know it takes time, but healing will happen, hang in there.
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