It's been pretty rough lately

[[Hi...]]

Hi,

I am at 28 months off after about 2 years xanax perscribed by doctor / Quit CT.

 

The past two+ months have been really bad.  I have been having cognitive issues like brain fog, confusion, cannot remember what I was just thinking, etc.  It seems worse now than it did a hear ago.  Just not understanding it.  Now, for the past two days I have experienced the depression, hopelessness, negative thoughts, etc.  I have to say, I am just bewildered at this point in the process.  I feel like there is no hope for me and for those who have read my posts over the past 2+years, I am usually very positive and encouraging.  I just feel like I am at a point where I don't know what to do anymore.  This is impacting my job now more than it ever did.

 

I was going to make an appt at the nurologist but I just don't want to spend money for a result of - all tests are normal.  Still thinking about that and not sure what to do yet.

 

I just feel totally run down and defeated.  Last night I talked to my wife and I felt better but of course the depression still hits hard.  Personally, this whole process is sickening.

 

Anyway - It's Friday and I hope all those here suffering find peace and healing today.

 

Hingie

[[Li...]]

Hingie,

I'm so sorry to hear it's been rough for you lately. Would be great if what's happening is your final wave before complete healing. I've read that this can be very common to have a flare-up before you finish your healing. So just stay strong keep the faith hopefully it won't be too much longer for you.

 

Hugs! LiveLife

[[ka...]]

Hingie,

 

Keep on keepin on, all the buddies are here for you, me included.

[[Hi...]]

Thanks for your kindness.  One can only dream of final healing but it has been bad lately.

 

Hoping you also reach full healing today.

 

Hingie

[[Li...]]

Hingie,

 

Thank you so much. That would be pretty wonderful! I too have been going through a very rough time. It's actually gotten much worse for me. I'm hoping some good healing is taking place. Trying to stay positive but it definitely is a challenge.

 

LiveLife

[[Hi...]]

Makes the post of the 4 stages of withdrawl seem like a joke.

 

Just dont get it.

 

Hingie

[[Be...]]

If you go see a neurologist hopefully he'll order an ANA blood screening test that rules out alot of autoimmune disorders.  I had one done while I was in tolerance w/d and mine was positive.  Then I was diagnosed with Lupus.  I'm convinced it's drug-induced.  I believe I'm having an immune response to my damaged cells.

[[le...]]

Makes the post of the 4 stages of withdrawl seem like a joke.

 

Just dont get it.

 

Hingie

 

 

 

 

Sorry you are still suffering. I don’t buy the 4 stages of withdrawal, barely got past stage 1. Never had any windows just waves. I felt better last Summer. Not just you feeling worse, I’m 22 months off the AD’s , sure as hell isn’t getting any better. Just had Covid which has made the psychological symptoms worse. Think this is very non linear, hope things soon improve for you.

[[Be...]]

Hi,

I am at 28 months off after about 2 years xanax perscribed by doctor / Quit CT.

 

The past two+ months have been really bad.  I have been having cognitive issues like brain fog, confusion, cannot remember what I was just thinking, etc.  It seems worse now than it did a hear ago.  Just not understanding it.  Now, for the past two days I have experienced the depression, hopelessness, negative thoughts, etc.  I have to say, I am just bewildered at this point in the process.  I feel like there is no hope for me and for those who have read my posts over the past 2+years, I am usually very positive and encouraging.  I just feel like I am at a point where I don't know what to do anymore.  This is impacting my job now more than it ever did.

 

I was going to make an appt at the nurologist but I just don't want to spend money for a result of - all tests are normal.  Still thinking about that and not sure what to do yet.

 

I just feel totally run down and defeated.  Last night I talked to my wife and I felt better but of course the depression still hits hard.  Personally, this whole process is sickening.

 

Anyway - It's Friday and I hope all those here suffering find peace and healing today.

 

Hingie

This process is a really long and tough one...The feelings we feel through it all are inhumane....The thoughts and the flood of emotions is overwhelming.... Setbacks really are disheartening...Soon as you feel better,all you want is to put it all behind and move on just to be hit again....

I haven't found something in my life as difficult as this process.....All problems I used to go through are really child play compared to this.. Even the death of my mum couldn't touch this.....

Bexlan....

[[Hi...]]

Bexlan

I lost my mom about 4 years ago.  It was devastating to me but you said it right.  Benzo recovery is the worst.

 

Peace to you

 

 

[[Hi...]]

Makes the post of the 4 stages of withdrawl seem like a joke.

 

Just dont get it.

 

Hingie

 

 

 

 

Sorry you are still suffering. I don’t buy the 4 stages of withdrawal, barely got past stage 1. Never had any windows just waves. I felt better last Summer. Not just you feeling worse, I’m 22 months off the AD’s , sure as hell isn’t getting any better. Just had Covid which has made the psychological symptoms worse. Think this is very non linear, hope things soon improve for you.

 

Hi Leann

 

You have had it rough my friend and i sincerely wish today you see this mess just disappear.  Hope you have a wonderful day today.  We are warriors.  All of those who are in rhis journey are warriors.

 

Hingie

 

 

 

[[Pa...]]

You mention this is impacting your job, could this be a source of stress and could it be compounding what you're feeling, the more the impact, the worse the stress and the more intense symptoms?

[[le...]]

Makes the post of the 4 stages of withdrawl seem like a joke.

 

Just dont get it.

 

Hingie

 

 

 

 

 

Thanks Hingie, I hope you get some relief soon. Sorry it is impacting your job. I’m retired so at least I don’t have that stress. So frustrating when we seem be going backwards at times👎

 

 

 

 

Sorry you are still suffering. I don’t buy the 4 stages of withdrawal, barely got past stage 1. Never had any windows just waves. I felt better last Summer. Not just you feeling worse, I’m 22 months off the AD’s , sure as hell isn’t getting any better. Just had Covid which has made the psychological symptoms worse. Think this is very non linear, hope things soon improve for you.

 

Hi Leann

 

You have had it rough my friend and i sincerely wish today you see this mess just disappear.  Hope you have a wonderful day today.  We are warriors.  All of those who are in rhis journey are warriors.

 

Hingie

[[Hi...]]

You mention this is impacting your job, could this be a source of stress and could it be compounding what you're feeling, the more the impact, the worse the stress and the more intense symptoms?

 

Hi Pamster

 

I am realizing that this may be part of the issue.  Unfortunately,  i just cannot quit my job though.  I have mouths to feed at home.  I am the sole income for my family.

 

 

I am looking to move to a different position soon so hopefully this will lighten the load.

 

I am taking some vacation time next saturday though.  I always feel better when i take vacation.  Guess that is the answer to your question.  Lol.

 

Always appreciate your responses.

 

Hingie

[[Pa...]]

I understand Hingie, most of us don't have the freedom to up and quit our jobs, I had to work too and while I knew the distraction was good for me, I was miserable.  I'm glad you've got some vacation time coming up, I hope it'll give you a reprieve from these intense symptoms, it'd be nice if you could get back to where you were, it seemed like you were doing pretty well before this.

 

I hope you can transition to a different job and things settle back down for you. 

[[Hi...]]

I understand Hingie, most of us don't have the freedom to up and quit our jobs, I had to work too and while I knew the distraction was good for me, I was miserable.  I'm glad you've got some vacation time coming up, I hope it'll give you a reprieve from these intense symptoms, it'd be nice if you could get back to where you were, it seemed like you were doing pretty well before this.

 

I hope you can transition to a different job and things settle back down for you

 

Thanks Pamster