The Long Hold Support Group

[[He...]]

V, Liza, Heath, Lynn , anyone that can answer..... I'm very early in holding and wanted to ask if the pattern is common or possible for symptoms to get worse in the beginning before they get better then get worse again kind of like cycling in and out.... Or is it more linear when you hold?

 

Also, has anyone experienced adrenaline surges and more anxiety after dosing where holding actually helped turn it around Or is that more of a sign this isnt working and oh my goodness what do I do?  kind of like paradoxical but chemically dependent? Mind is slow but body racing ???I noticed I feel so much better before dosing...feel.more better like the feeling of it wearing off....

 

I don't want to make any more mistakes and trying to decipher this crazy process and symptoms.....

 

Thank you all...

 

Hi Pleasebethere,

OH YES, during my hold I did not feel really better until the fifth week. Until then it was a reAl roller coaster. And I even experienced some new wdfx. But things started to get back to normal at the beginning of the fifth week. Then in the six week or about then I started to get Windows for a couple of hours each day. And then even though I had some Windows, I would get new side effects sometimes, but they only lasted a day or two. My problem developed because I decided after two months holding, it was enough. And so I cut again. They was a mistake! I prob should have held another month or two to get really stable.

So yes, you can expect to wait a few weeks before you see improvement. It certainly is NOT linear. But do not give up! IMO long holds certainly do give your CNS time to heal and catch up to your cuts.

I agree with everything ValleyUm posted.

Peace and healing to you!

Heathcliff

[[He...]]

Thanks BeGood!

You always know what to say. Ill try the muscle vibrater on my back muscles. I have one at home. Don't know why I didn't think of it!

[[...]]

To PleaseBeThere... I,m new here and still trying to get the hang of how this all works , so I hope you see this response to your post. You pretty much asked my question..... After finally finding this group being so afraid to hold for long, I feel reassured that it's ok. But I thought my symptoms would deminish linearly..... It's seems they don't.

I haven't written my signature yet , I don't think , though I did try a while back, but I am holding now at 8 1/2 mg V , after a cross from K to 10 mg V ... My taper has been really hard thus far, I'm very unstable, so glad to find this group and feel reassured .

To your question... I feel the same way. I woke up at 5 am with horrible adrenaline surges, lay there til 8 am when I take my morning dose , fell back into a horrible weird sleep like my body wanted to get up , making adrenaline, and the V wiped me out. Woke up at 10 feeling just horrible, scared, etc , am I making a mistake , should I cut some more......but reading your Question and the answers , I want to hold and see if my body will balance out a bit.

So thank you, I'm sorry you are going through this, but you are not alone, and thanks everyone for your encouragement .

More soon on my story , MiYu

[[...]]

Valley Um, thank you for your encouragement on long holds .... I've been so scared to do that,will have to keep coming here for encouragement , it's scary to hold as someone said. It's all scary! I'm hoping I will stabilize so I have that experience to go by.

Will let you all know my current situation when I can get it together . Thank you for being here!

[[He...]]

Welcome to the group MiYu!

 

We are all here to support you.

 

Heathcliff

[[Va...]]

Valley Um, thank you for your encouragement on long holds .... I've been so scared to do that,will have to keep coming here for encouragement , it's scary to hold as someone said. It's all scary! I'm hoping I will stabilize so I have that experience to go by.

Will let you all know my current situation when I can get it together . Thank you for being here!

Hang in there. It does get better. 

[[be...]]

[glow=red,2,300][/glow]Welcome MiYu.  

[[be...]]

Hey Valley how are your eyes today

[[Va...]]

Hey Valley how are your eyes today

Hi BG. They are off and on lol. I found out my lenses are rotating so i have to keep adjusting them.  It is kind of a nuisance when combined with the the regular blurry vision from withdrawal but we'll all be off eventually. Hope you're doing well. I'm feeling some lag time hit so probably time to hold for a few days.  --V

[[be...]]

Hey Valley how are your eyes today

Hi BG. They are off and on lol. I found out my lenses are rotating so i have to keep adjusting them.  It is kind of a nuisance when combined with the the regular blurry vision from withdrawal but we'll all be off eventually. Hope you're doing well. I'm feeling some lag time hit so probably time to hold for a few days.  --V

Your lenses are moving I thought they were stationary, but I have never had contacts, I was forced to wear glasses, could not pass my eye test for renewal of DL. . You are back to work, so that could be some of what you may be feeling with your taper, it changes always, I am good, but the sleep is not good the last couple of nights, but I have had worse sleep, we just deal with it and it will change that's for sure, but honestly in the scheme of things just blips, nothing earth shattering.

[[Va...]]

Hey Valley how are your eyes today

Hi BG. They are off and on lol. I found out my lenses are rotating so i have to keep adjusting them.  It is kind of a nuisance when combined with the the regular blurry vision from withdrawal but we'll all be off eventually. Hope you're doing well. I'm feeling some lag time hit so probably time to hold for a few days.  --V

Your lenses are moving I thought they were stationary, but I have never had contacts, I was forced to wear glasses, could not pass my eye test for renewal of DL. . You are back to work, so that could be some of what you may be feeling with your taper, it changes always, I am good, but the sleep is not good the last couple of nights, but I have had worse sleep, we just deal with it and it will change that's for sure, but honestly in the scheme of things just blips, nothing earth shattering.

That's the weird thing about contacts which I never knew until now. They are measured based on the shape of your eye and "fall into place" when you put them in. Mine are rotating out of position which makes vision even blurrier than it already is lol. Sorry for the sleep issues. I've only had one day of poor sleep since I started up again.  --V

[[He...]]

Sorry about your moving contacts. Hope they "stabilize!" LOL

I wear glasses. Don't think I could ever get used to having something in my eyes.

Did they used to move around before you started tapering or has this always been happening?

 

Heath

[[Va...]]

Sorry about your moving contacts. Hope they "stabilize!" LOL

I wear glasses. Don't think I could ever get used to having something in my eyes.

Did they used to move around before you started tapering or has this always been happening?

 

Heath

Thanks Heath. This was never an issue before I started to taper. --V

[[be...]]

Sorry about your moving contacts. Hope they "stabilize!" LOL

I wear glasses. Don't think I could ever get used to having something in my eyes.

Did they used to move around before you started tapering or has this always been happening?

 

Heath

Thanks Heath. This was never an issue before I started to taper. --V

V, I think with age  our lenses change just like the rest of our bodies , maybe you should go to glasses or be refitted.

[[Va...]]

Sorry about your moving contacts. Hope they "stabilize!" LOL

I wear glasses. Don't think I could ever get used to having something in my eyes.

Did they used to move around before you started tapering or has this always been happening?

 

Heath

Thanks Heath. This was never an issue before I started to taper. --V

V, I think with age  our lenses change just like the rest of our bodies , maybe you should go to glasses or be refitted.

I'm starting to think that may be an option. I went in to have them refitted and get new glasses. The problem is the blurry vision from withdrawal interfering with the results lol.  --V

[[be...]]

Sorry about your moving contacts. Hope they "stabilize!" LOL

I wear glasses. Don't think I could ever get used to having something in my eyes.

Did they used to move around before you started tapering or has this always been happening?

 

Heath

Thanks Heath. This was never an issue before I started to taper. --V

V, I think with age  our lenses change just like the rest of our bodies , maybe you should go to glasses or be refitted.

I'm starting to think that may be an option. I went in to have them refitted and get new glasses. The problem is the blurry vision from withdrawal interfering with the results lol.  --V

Embrace your Age.  

[[ly...]]

 

 

"V" really is getting "up there".  :laugh:

[[be...]]

 

 

"V" really is getting "up there".  :laugh:

 

[[Va...]]

 

 

"V" really is getting "up there".  :laugh:

I guess I really do have to succumb to the last stage of grief. Acceptance. 

[[...]]

Valley Um , did that 6 month hold really help you feel more stable? Were you functional before that , or did the hold help in that?

I'm barely functional . Just the basic survival stuff and everything revs up my nervous system , most of the time I feel like I'm on fire and being stuck all over with pins! Yuk....and nausea , weakness etc

I also have the Blurry vision issue that comes and goes.....

One day at a time... Really praying if I hold some of my symptoms will ease up a bit

[[He...]]

And now the nausea hits me! Thought I'd be spared that one but no such luck. Feel sick all day for two days now. I hope it does not increase to actual vomiting. Holding but getting new wdfx anyway.slept only three hours last night...... I know....ITS A WAITING GAME!

 

Sorry but Just feel like complaining.

 

Heath, sick!    :'(

[[Va...]]

And now the nausea hits me! Thought I'd be spared that one but no such luck. Feel sick all day for two days now. I hope it does not increase to actual vomiting. Holding but getting new wdfx anyway.slept only three hours last night...... I know....ITS A WAITING GAME!

 

Sorry but Just feel like complaining.

 

Heath, sick!    :'(

It's fine to vent here Heath. 

[[Pl...]]

To PleaseBeThere... I,m new here and still trying to get the hang of how this all works , so I hope you see this response to your post. You pretty much asked my question..... After finally finding this group being so afraid to hold for long, I feel reassured that it's ok. But I thought my symptoms would deminish linearly..... It's seems they don't.

I haven't written my signature yet , I don't think , though I did try a while back, but I am holding now at 8 1/2 mg V , after a cross from K to 10 mg V ... My taper has been really hard thus far, I'm very unstable, so glad to find this group and feel reassured .

To your question... I feel the same way. I woke up at 5 am with horrible adrenaline surges, lay there til 8 am when I take my morning dose , fell back into a horrible weird sleep like my body wanted to get up , making adrenaline, and the V wiped me out. Woke up at 10 feeling just horrible, scared, etc , am I making a mistake , should I cut some more......but reading your Question and the answers , I want to hold and see if my body will balance out a bit.

So thank you, I'm sorry you are going through this, but you are not alone, and thanks everyone for your encouragement .

More soon on my story , MiYu

 

Miyu... Thanks so much for responding..... I thought I was the only one going thru this and experiencing this symptom ( 1 out of a hundred) ... I'm thinking I may not be able to taper off of kolonopin and thought of Valium but I'm too afraid to introduce yet another chemical in my body....

 

do you find the Valium is at least better then the kolonopin even though you are having such terrible difficulty?  I'm very sorry you are feeling this way as I am...

[[Pl...]]

And now the nausea hits me! Thought I'd be spared that one but no such luck. Feel sick all day for two days now. I hope it does not increase to actual vomiting. Holding but getting new wdfx anyway.slept only three hours last night...... I know....ITS A WAITING GAME!

 

Sorry but Just feel like complaining.

 

Heath, sick!    :'(

 

 

 

Heath..... I have the nausea too.... I actually vomited yesterday.... I'm sorry you have this awful feeling... I know.... Too much information....thank you for your reply the other day and also to you V in case I didn't thank you....

 

I appreciate the feedback so much.....

 

I don't know what's going on but the more I hold the more sedated I feel along with the restlessness... But it's been rotating in and out... I hate it so much!  I can't take it I feel so drugged.... So non functional.... I feel like I'm on another planet which hypes up my anxiety.... That's why I'm so afraid of Valium.... I don't know ... I'm just rambling....

 

But I noticed some of my inner vibrating is fading in and out.... good sign? I don't know....

[[...]]

Pleasebehere..... Yes it sucks ! I do find this adrenaline symptom comes and goes. Relative to cross to V , the cross was really hard for me, bad WDs of k the whole time. But the K was just too strong for me to taper in small enough doses, and I got bad inter dose WD even with three doses a day.

There's good and bad about V. No inter dose WD which is great. Very sedating , not so great, more head stuff. Overall I'd say I'm much more stable, I do still dose 3 X day. But I don't think symptom wise it's any easier then the K, just more controllable. K scared me it was so strong . I've been all over the map with benzos even though I haven't been one them much more than a year, just didn't know any better... No one told me , what a suprise!

I have to look at your signature to see what you are on.....hang in there ! One day we'll be through this.....