I loved myself! Now my brain is dead... Hope?

[[So...]]

I am just getting worse. I screwd up so many times.

 

I have a completely blnak mind (no visualization, daydreaming, flow of thought), no emotions/complete anhedonia, severe cognitive decline and memory issues, total loss of personality and sense of self, DPDR and complete loss of connection to the world and myself, head pressure and squeezing brain getting worse when i try to think, visualize or daydream.

 

My brain struggle to process vision and sound - i can see, but my brain wont register it. This makes it hard to watch tv.

 

Akathisia and inner restlessness makes it Impossible to relax. Head pressure hurts all day. Pressure in my chest and throat too.

 

Just Feel braindead and empty and hollow. The pressure and emptyness physically hurts. Its so strange. Just want this to end now. Wake up everyday not knowing How to get through the day. How can one surviving losing one self? I loved who i used to be, i loved myself, and i want her back do badly. Now every second is torture and i have nothing to do every day but survive the intense mental and physical  suffering.

[[Ha...]]

Yep, been there. But it does get better and you will be that person again. Just got to keep plugging away. 1 day that person will return, and you'll love her even more.

 

One Day, 1 hour, 10 minute at a time

[[Tr...]]

Brain dead, empty and hollow, that is exactly how I used to feel 2 years ago and it felt permanent but I’m here to tell you it wasn’t permanent and it won’t be permanent for you either. Ever so slowly it will start to get better and one day you will be able to feel again, watch tv and listen to music. Feel love and even feel excited about life and your future. There is still hope for you. You must hang in there and trust stories like mine and many others. You will also get better.

[[So...]]

Brain dead, empty and hollow, that is exactly how I used to feel 2 years ago and it felt permanent but I’m here to tell you it wasn’t permanent and it won’t be permanent for you either. Ever so slowly it will start to get better and one day you will be able to feel again, watch tv and listen to music. Feel love and even feel excited about life and your future. There is still hope for you. You must hang in there and trust stories like mine and many others. You will also get better.

 

Thank you!!! I really hope i can be myself again and leave this all behind me

[[li...]]

I was a lot better and suddenly at 38 months off after a lot of stress I am totally brain impaired too.

 

It's very scary.

 

I feel stupid and can't think straight.

 

Normally I am bubbly and smart and witty and fast thinking.

 

My brain is normally like a supercomputer.

 

So frustrating!