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Providing a 28 month status update


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Hello-

I wanted to take a minute to provide an overall status update since there are a lot of us at the 2year + timeframe.

 

I was on anywhere from 1 to 2mg of Xanax for about 1.5 years and was also a pretty big beer drinker as well. I am thinking that my alcohol use while taking benzo's may have extended my recover timeline. Like many here, I had no idea as to the dangers of mixing a benzo and alcohol nor did I know the negative impacts of benzo's by itself.  I trusted my doctor which was my biggest mistake.  Anyway, I experienced what most here have experienced and it was nothing short of horrific.

 

Now, at approaching 29 months off, my biggest symptom is the relentless brain fog, and short term memory issues plus anxiety and the ever present benzo recovery fear that grips you from time to time.  My vision is also blurry and seems like my glasses need updated at least every year.  Make no mistake, it has gotten better though.  One thing I have realized is there are times where you get stuck in the ruminating thoughts of "i will always be like this" and "life sucks and will always be bad for me".  This is a known process of this type of recovery so I don't dwell on it much. 

 

As I said, it has gotten better.  Not sure if its really "better" or just I have adjusted to feeling like this but I can feel "at times" that I am able to see the big picture and realize that my overall healing is slow but it is happening.

 

It seems like the past two spring seasons bring on a wave as I wait for the warm sunshine to appear.  I believe this is just a part of life after a 6 month winter of cold, snow, and wind and realize that positive thinking is the best way to combat this. 

 

I was watching neighbor Bob and saw how he just waked up one morning and was healed.  That sounds so nice and wish that would be each of our experiences.  Anyway, I just wanted to send out a note that looking at your situation you are currently going through at the time does not do you any justice.  Looking at your entire timeline of healing and how you have been able to leave your house again, get back to doing some things you did before, and most of all, regaining some cognitive abilities gives you time to realize that you ARE healing and that the biggest obstacle to recover is TIME.  Lots of time.

 

Hoping you all have a great day filled with positivity and healing.

 

Hingie

 

 

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Thank you for this encouraging message! I hope you continue to heal and reap the benefits. I was drinking a good bit of wine while taking the meds myself and like you, believe that it has slowed down my recovery. But now, no meds for 10 months and no alcohol for 8 or so. I know the healing is happening. You make good points and have good advice about not looking at each individual day but seeing the full timeline  for what it is.  Congrats to you on your improvements and I hope your brain fog and blurry vision and any lingering symptoms clear up very soon. 
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Keep on keeping on Hingie. We're getting there however slowly. I wouldn't beat yourself up about the drinking. I personally know a couple of heavy drinkers that were on benzos for years. Tapered off no problem and still happily drink a bottle of wine or more most days. I see a lot of people blame drinking on the length of their recovery, but I don't think it has much of an influence from my observations.

 

Onwards and upwards buddy

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Hingie,

 

Thanks for letting us know how you're doing. I'm sure you're almost healed. You're very very close. Just keep going and this is all going to end for us hopefully sooner rather than later.

 

LiveLife

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Thanks for the encouraging message Hingie. I’m 6 days into Covid at moment, so mental symptoms really awful. Also had son and wife staying last 12 days as she developed it while visiting, their house was flooded in meantime so ended up with us and now 4 of us got it. I have read about people waking up and suddenly being recovered, be nice if it were true, but I’m bit sceptical. Glad you aren’t doing too bad,
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Thanks all for the feedback.  Much appreciated.  I stopped logging in to BB as much these days since there are so many posters who are at the 3-18 months out range.  It's good to hear form those with longer time frames or at least around the same timeframe as me.

 

Hope you all have a great day with much healing and positivity while keeping stress away.

 

Hingie

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Hi Hingie,

 

I'm right behind you at 27 months off. I'm so happy to hear that you have seem overall improvements, in the big picture of things that's so huge and you have a really good attitude about healing!

 

I feel the same way you do about logging in less, there are lots of people under then 18 month time frame right now and I remember what it was like being in their shoes and seeing the posts of those 24+ months out and being so discouraged by it.

 

You are healing, you are so close, hang in there!

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[2f...]
its true im never on here anymore bc the last thing i try and think about are my symptoms i just get up and do something when i dont feel good. becoming emotionally unattached helped me also. the brain fog will get less and less  even though it may come and go at times. im 3 years 1 month since i jumped CT
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Thanks for your response FT

 

so you had the brain fog stuff for awhile?  how was it at the 2.5 year mark?  I know we are all different but I am interested in experience.

 

Thank and happy Friday.

Hingie

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I rarely come in here now

28 months off today and would love to say I am well and recovered but sadly not yet

I think for some the damage is greater than for others and it may well be down to genetics

What can we do except try to keep going?

I keep hoping I will do a Neighbor Bob as I am not getting windows

I am old which doesn’t help but then many older people come off these drugs without issue

I guess it’s all about time in the end

I  know I wish I hadn’t gone to the Doctor with anxiety

The rest I know nothing but try to keep going

We get there hopefully

 

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