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How do you survive the torture?


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Hi, i Feel like i am being tortured every day both mentally avdød physically. I have no life. For now its hard to just exist, and my symptoms keeps worsening. How do you live through this not knowing how long the intens torture is gonna last? I struggle every day. Its just second by second and its agonizingly slow.
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It’s torture, it really is. I hope it is a tiny little comfort to know that it will get better. That each of those seconds and with every breath your body is healing. It was my sister who convinced me to hang on and that just staying alive was good enough for now. For the last 6 months, I had no life much at all. Having a shower was the goal for the day. On special days I could walk around the house. I don’t know why we have to suffer so much. I understand that our bodies have been upset and need to regroup but why does it produce so much torment? Who knows? We have lost the ability to calm down naturally and that puts everything on high alert I guess. Pain is greater. Anxiety turns to terror. Tummy grumbles turn to full on *******! Thoughts are on a high speed loop. Sleep disappears.

No wonder you are struggling Sofa. I am 4 weeks off and I’m happily baking at home, preparing to visit our son. Saturday, I was in bed all day. The good days are coming for you.

You can do this.

Healing hugs Hardy.

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Hi, i Feel like i am being tortured every day both mentally avdød physically. I have no life. For now its hard to just exist, and my symptoms keeps worsening. How do you live through this not knowing how long the intens torture is gonna last? I struggle every day. Its just second by second and its agonizingly slow.

That is common for most of people, Only time shall pass and you get healed...Try Warm showers and Meditation and listen to soothing music...That is Normal and shall pass.

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I too am suffering and I’m 5 months off. Antibiotic set back has made things worse.

Trying to hang in there

Tulip

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Me too, it's very hard.  I always get so lost in it wondering if it's withdrawl anymore,  even though it's said to be obvious it is. I feel so weighted down by it. 
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It really is torture. There is no other word to describe it. It gets better, though. I know you don't see or feel it now, but every day that passes, you are slowly healing. Time is healing. You just have to distract. Force yourself to walk and if you feel like you can't walk, crawl, I did. Force yourself to go outside and force that shower. I know it's tough, but you've got to. DRINK WATER! DON'T GIVE UP!
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It really is just a hell on earth, the torture of benzo withdrawal.  If you can find something, or a few things, that give you at least a little bit of joy, that will help immensely.  A few things I did, even while in extreme pain were:  jigsaw puzzles, sudokus, listening to audio books, and playing on online mobile game.  I do think there's some science behind playing a video game and helping relieve pain.  It definitely helped me. 
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Barely. Honestly I feel your pain. It really is torture, and nobody understands. I compared it to feeling like being boiled alive. I couldn't believe it was possible to feel that bad!

 

But it passes, I promise you. It is not forever. Say it with me- IT IS NOT FOREVER.

 

I convinced myself it was. Or that even if it wasn't forever, that it wasn't worth going on through pain like this. Then I started to experience windows and realised that it absolutely was.

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Sofa, I hope that seeing all these posts will grant you a few minutes of comfort. To see a bunch of us that TRULY know the torture, and we understand how you feel. That's just it, most of the time in the real world.....no one truly understands just how awful it is. They like to think they do.. .offering things that normally help people when they feel bad mentally or physically.... They mean well, but they just won't ever get it unless they live it!

I know I wouldn't have. You have to have experienced the torture, and to really know what it feels like to be at your breaking point under that torture to REALLY know.

We know. We are sooooo sorry that you know! But.........

We made it! And you can too!!! I know it seems impossible, I know it! I thought I would never walk normal or use my limbs normal again......Today I started learning a kickflip at the skatepark, and it was on my "list of things to do if I ever walked again"

So I promise you it can and does get better!!!

I did like another poster said.....I just decided to keep living each day, and that was it. That's how I survived mentally. And I had a wonderful husband who also carried me.

Keep going. It is torture. But keep going. The other side is a beautiful site to behold  :smitten:

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  • 2 weeks later...

This is the hardest thing we have ever been through.

 

Take it one day at a time

 

You just gotta hang in there

 

you are going to be stronger than ever

 

This too shall pass

 

You can do it!

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It really is just a hell on earth, the torture of benzo withdrawal.  If you can find something, or a few things, that give you at least a little bit of joy, that will help immensely.  A few things I did, even while in extreme pain were:  jigsaw puzzles, sudokus, listening to audio books, and playing on online mobile game.  I do think there's some science behind playing a video game and helping relieve pain.  It definitely helped me.

 

what video games did you find helped?

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