HOW DO WE DO IT!!

[[Bi...]]

Hi Everyone - I'm a man of 53 and in good shape.  I'm fit, run 500+ miles a year, go to the gym and am involved in a lot of sports (skiing, tennis, golf, etc.).  I eat right, don't smoke and rarely drink alcohol.  I work for myself and live comfortably.  I never had been in a hospital until age 50.  I have been blessed.  Benzo withdrawal has brought me to my knees.  The pain in overwhelming at times.  I am strong willed and strong physically but it makes no difference.  How do we do it?  Are everyone's s/x as intense as mine?  Why doesn't this kill us?  Best to all - Billwill

[Guest [Si...]]

We just take it day by day, and push through.

Are you still working out and so on in withdrawal?

 

It's a one step at a time process.

Minutes lead to days, weeks, months, and whatever month, we heal.

 

It sounds like you're doing well for yourself. Keep going.  Sometimes we have to just take it to extreme, yet pamper ourselves.

 

S#

[[je...]]

Hi Billwill, Many of us can identify in that we lead productive, interesting, and rewarding lives before the benzo beast entered our lives.  What are your worst symptoms.  At BB almost anything issue or symptom we experience we can learn that someone else has been down that road before.  Are you still running?  Keep up the good work.  It does get better.  I am four months off of klonopin and am experiencing some really good periods of time.  And then I get blasted by the pain of anxiety.  But this is the way that it does--wave, window, wave, window until it is just window, window, window.  That will happen to all of us who had good lives before benzos.  Even for people who had problems before benzos, the drugs aggravated their symptoms.  It is basically the benzos that are doing this to us.  Take care.

[[da...]]

Hi Billwill,

It does pass.

 

I am 47, used to be a personal trainer, then 13 years ago started clonazepam.

Gradually stopped working out.

 

Now I am over 8 months off benzos and have been working out very well for over 5 months.

 

I have been sober most of my life.

 

 

[[Be...]]

Hi Bill,

 

I really feel for you, buddie 

 

My taper was just horrid!  There were more days than I care to remember where I felt just like you do right now.  i though I was going to die or go insane, either way I didn't think I could make it through this.  But I did make it through, and at ten months benzo free most of my symptoms have gone away for good.  I'm still dealing with a few things, but they are nothing compared to the hell I was in this time last year.

 

Hold on tight - you will heal from all of this.

[[Bi...]]

Thanks Sigma, Jennie, Danman and Bevoir - your encouragement and counsel really helps!  This process has so many mind games to it doesn't it.  Just a kind word can make so much of a difference!  Knowing others have made it through keeps me going - I have to go forward as going back is not an option - I'd rather be dead than living on Klonopin - it was no life.  I have so much to look forward to - I have a great girlfriend, time to travel and grown healthy children.  And underneath it all I know I have my health (strange comment huh!).  Without the knowledge and support I've received from you and everyone on BB I couldn't do this.  Blessings to all, Billwill

[[re...]]

I can so relate to how you feel believe me.  I am still tapering but at the beginning of my hell, I went to about a 75% decrease and felt like death was around the corner.  The saddest part about it was I didnt care.......  All I know and I still have lots of problems is that time heals us and we have to hold on tight and stay motivated to do this.  I know, easier said then done.  I dont have a choice but to get off of this med as soon as I can.  I am holding on barely to my home and take care of a disabled adult son and need to get back to work.  I hope everyone here can help you and keep reading and posting.  It is great to know we are not alone and we are not going crazy......

[[Be...]]

 I have so much to look forward to

 

You certainly do, Bill 

 

Now that I am klonopin free and almost healed, life really is wonderful again.  And it will be again for you too 

[[da...]]

Yes, I knew that going back to Klonopin/clonazepam was not an option.

It does get better.

The support from BB is invaluable. BBs understands!

 

And example; I had a lousy, horrible morning. I went to the gym and worked out. I did some errands. It is a beautiful day- I am feeling so much better now.

 

One goes through so much getting off this stuff, as others say, it is worth it!

 

-Dan

 

[[Wh...]]

Hi Billwill,

 

When my mind would say "I'm dying, I'm going insane."  I would counter it with "I am healing.  I am safe."  Those were the early days when my one year taper was just done.  It seemed to work to calm me down some.  This is the hardest thing you will ever have to do.  In those days I wanted to shave off my hair, pull out all my teeth and go naked.  Everything was on fire.  It felt like I had put a coat hanger in an electric socket and had to hang on for dear life.  Yes, it is that intense for alot of us.  Lucky are those who don't experience these depths when they come off.

 

When you said "Why doesn't this kill us?" ... I know, amazing what we can endure right?  The thing is, is that it slowly softens with time.  I don't have to fight that hard anymore to just get thru each day.  Thank God we heal from this and that it is not deadly although there were plenty of times when I wished I was dead.  I'm still here ... I made it ... you will too!!!  Just get thru this one day ... that is all you have to do.  Sometimes it will be just this one moment.  Believe it or not ... you are stronger and bigger than even this.  Amazing is what we are. 

[[da...]]

Hi Billwill,

 

When my mind would say "I'm dying, I'm going insane."  I would counter it with "I am healing.  I am safe."  Those were the early days when my one year taper was just done.  It seemed to work to calm me down some.  This is the hardest thing you will ever have to do.  In those days I wanted to shave off my hair, pull out all my teeth and go naked.  Everything was on fire.  It felt like I had put a coat hanger in an electric socket and had to hang on for dear life.  Yes, it is that intense for alot of us.  Lucky are those who don't experience these depths when they come off.

 

When you said "Why doesn't this kill us?" ... I know, amazing what we can endure right?  The thing is, is that it slowly softens with time.  I don't have to fight that hard anymore to just get thru each day.  Thank God we heal from this and that it is not deadly although there were plenty of times when I wished I was dead.  I'm still here ... I made it ... you will too!!!  Just get thru this one day ... that is all you have to do.  Sometimes it will be just this one moment.  Believe it or not ... you are stronger and bigger than even this.  Amazing is what we are. 

 

Whoopsie, thank you so much for a wonderful share!

 

-Dan

[[pa...]]

Hi Billwill... The most spiritually strong have a path of deep struggle, as they will journey through it and succeed!  One foot in front of the other through the terror and hell of it... tooooooo.. the light of freedom at the end of a dark tunnel.  Then.. the learning lesson.. to live a new life, honor yourself and extend that to others; find a special way to do that the rest of your life on this planet suspended in outer space.  This is part of our jouney.....  one day all will celebrate in the other life... the connection all found with eachother on this site to help eachother through it. Blessings to you and all.  Always, Pattylu

[[Bi...]]

Thanks everybody - I did make it through and even took a long walk Wednesday night.  Thursday was much more tolerable and today is rough but I'll make it.  Best, Billwill

[[li...]]

Good attitude Billwill.  glad you had a better day yesterday.  My days run on a schedule.  Day 1 bad, 2 a little better and today is day 3 and better.  I really don't understand this sometimes.  Even on day 3 my tinnitus is mild.  then I start all over again.  One day at a time.  The days will turn to months and we will be there.  Linder