Pattern of symptoms: bad wave one day milder wave next

[[Tu...]]

Hi. I came off of lorazepam 5 and half months ago and had a set back from antibiotics. During my taper I had a pattern of symptoms. One good one bad. Now after my setback I have one bad wave day one milder. Always the same. Is this norm. The pattern won’t change. Intensity is still there. Can an relate to this weird pattern that never changes ?  Am I brain damaged stuck like this.

[[Pa...]]

You're not brain damaged but you are stuck in a miserable pattern, have you been able to point to anything in your life that could account for it?  Is your sleep affected the same way?

[[Tu...]]

Hi Pam I don’t want to compare myself to anyone but I read that people have symptoms for many years. Is that not kinda like brain damaged. I’m not a doctor but how can you not think that it’s like a real bad damage to the brain when symptoms take so long to repair

My sleep was never an issue.  I sleep 5 hours straight with the help of melatonin and then I wake up for 2 hours drink my chamomile tea and sleep for another 2 hours.

I know now that I have akathesia. It points to that from what I read  I have severe inner restlessness anxiety burning torture. It comes every second day. Then the following day I get the crying spells and depression.

My antibiotics setback made it worse. I’m just started to notice it getting a bit better from set back.

I feel I got this akathesia because I tapered mirtazapine and then jumped right into the lorazepam taper. Never gave my brain a chance to heal.

Can akathesia go away or is this a permanent condition. I hope that someone on the forum had this and is now gone or getting better

I don’t pace but I shake my foot and rock sometimes. It’s very severe and symptoms never seem to change.  Can one day they start to get better feels like I’m really stuck like this.

Tulip

 

[[Pa...]]

I prefer to call it a brain injury, I feel like an injury is repairable but I'm not sure if brain damage is.  I agree, your setback didn't do you any favors but as you've read, we can pull out of them and you say you've noticed a bit of improvement.

 

I absolutely believe you're going to recover from this, I wish you believed that too. 

[[Tu...]]

I prefer to call it a brain injury, I feel like an injury is repairable but I'm not sure if brain damage is.  I agree, your setback didn't do you any favors but as you've read, we can pull out of them and you say you've noticed a bit of improvement.

 

I absolutely believe you're going to recover from this, I wish you believed that too. 

 

I’m trying to believe it but I had a bad day yesterday. Thought I was going to die. My crying spells were non stop with never ending intrusive thoughts.  The inner restlessness and burning felt like I was being tortured. My bad days were lessening but after antibiotics set back they have become worse.

Thankfully today is a bit better. I feel I’m doomed

Tulip