Jump to content

New to BB


[de...]

Recommended Posts

Hello, I dont have much time right now to introduce myself but I am recovering from a xanax cold turkey and would love to be able to help and be helped here in the forums  :)
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hello dedwards, Welcome!

 

We have a few cold turkey Buddies here, of which I'm one, so you've come to the right place for support. 

 

Pam

Link to comment
Share on other sites

[75...]

Hello, Im trying to get my account approved, I dont have much time right now but I am recovering from a xanax cold turkey and would love to be able to hep and be helped here in the forums  :)

 

Hey dedwards,

 

How long are you into your ColdTurkey and how are you feeling?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hello Dedwards and welcoming you to BB. How long ago did you cold turkey and how long were you on Xanax? How are you feeling? Hope you are doing okay. We are here for you, hang in there.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Dedwards and welcome.

 

Would you like to share a little bit about your benzo history?

 

We're glad you found us. :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hello all, sorry I havent had a chance to reply. Im at work so this one will be a short summary. Im 33 yo Male, started having anxiety issues around 20 yo got put on zoloft and .5mg xanax. I thought it was just the best and took it over the next few years. I have been on and off a few times.. In october 2010 the Dr who I was seeing moved into another office with another Dr and I saw the Dr he moved in with on my next appt to get refills. Well this Dr couldnt even write prescriptions for any narcotic as he was being investigated for handing out pills like candy so at that point I cold turked off of xanax and he puts me on pristiq. Well the next month I started having weird symptoms, alot of chest and abdominal tightness so I stoppped the pristiq as I thought it was ill effects from that medicine. I stopeed seeing that Dr and went to another. I developed depersonilization and derealization although Im sure I have had it to a degree for years but it hit hard and that has been hard to deal with although it seems to have improved a bit depending on how I feel. Well during this time the new Dr tried zoloft... didnt work, tried paxil... didnt work.. things were going down so I did a very bad thing and got xanax 1mg on my own from people I knew and self medicated what a mistake, went to a higher dose even got some 2mg bars :idiot: did that for a couple months or so then april 8 2011 was my last one after reading how destructive benzos are. I flushed the rest down the toilet. Had bad insomnia, nightmares, along with my 1000 or so other symptoms I just come to accept. I had a bad day yesterday I have a cold that I believe helped flare up some symptoms, the previous night I couldnt sleep. My body didnt feel right, my heart was pounding, not fast just hard.My left foot felt like someone elses, every time i got to sleep i would startle back awake, it was horrible. Had a abdomen ultrasound, bloodwork, and recently a heart echo and stress test btw just waiting for the echo results everything else normal. Now im waiting for june 9 as that will be 2 months without benzos. I have on and off days now, ill go a few days feeling ok, not great.. Then Ill get a few bad days. I dont remember what it feels like to feel normal although certain memories or places remind me and I get these moments of clarity briefly. Well ill be fired soon lol Im gonna wrap this up. I hope everyone is doing ok, btw im Christian and my hope is built on nothing less than Jesus blood and righteousness, he will help, God bless all
Link to comment
Share on other sites

HI dedwards,

 

I am sorry to hear about your struggle with benzos.  Those little pills seem to helpful an innocent at first, don't they?  But before you know it they have turned on you.

 

Hang in there, because over time you will heal from this.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Like many of us, you had to find out the hard way how horrible benzos can be.  So you pretty much cold turkeyed from a daily dose of 2 mgs of Xanax or did you take more than one of the 2mg pills a day?  

 

You can expect many on and off days for awhile... but those moments of clarity are good signs. It is almost like the brain managed to completely repair itself for a few seconds before it goofed up again. You may have better windows coming your way in the near future.

 

You seem like you have a good handle and attitude in regards to your withdrawal symptoms.  A lot of members do find faith being key to their outlook and recovery.  Feel free to join in the discussions in the Faith and Philosophy board.

 

Welcome to BenzoBuddies, I look forward to seeing you around and your recovery progressing.

 

Crono

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks to everyone for their support and kindness. I honestly got to feeling so bad I would take more than 2mg a day and some days i wouldn't take any, I think thats because a large dose would tide me over for a while until the cycle started to repeat. I was all for xanax and thought it was the only good treatment for anxiety and sadly my Mother has and is on the stuff for years. after gaining knowledge on the stuff someone would have to force it down my throat physically.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi dedwards,

 

Just wanted to drop by and see how you are feeling today?

 

Sending you best wishes and lots of healing thoughts.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi, im doing ok today, couple moments of anxiety but it passed. Its quite warm today. Thank you for being kind and asking

:)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi DeEdwards:

 

You are a very courageous young man who is finding his way out of this maze of benzos and ADs.  We are being prescribed very potent and addictive stuff for life's everyday situations.  Then we have to figure out how to deal with the benzo addiction.  :tickedoff: :tickedoff:

 

I will keep you in my prayers and thoughts for your daily improvements in sxs and to be surrounded in love and God's infinite grace for us all.

 

God bless,

Rocko

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yes your right and the sad thing is I remember a point in time I actually defended the drug thinking it was a proper and effective treatment for anxiety, how ignorant I was at that time... wow, thanks for the encouragement this is a great place for support, oddly it seems I havent had much from the people im around the most
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Wow what a story...God Bless...

 

I also am a c/t of 20 mils of valuim and i would like to be able to just let you know that I as well suffered huge 30 sxs for months ...bedridden due to muscle mass loss and much more,I am now at 1 yr out and I just want to let you know ...We HEAL...We really do..You just keep fighting  this good fight and in your heart just know you will get thru this and be better then before...Hang in friend ,...

 

:) Jenny

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have lived with anxiety for around 13 years, between the anxiety that started this whole mess and the damage from the xanax I wonder if ill ever feel as clear mentally as I did when I was a teenager with no worries in the world. Anyone here that has recovered can answer that for me? Do we ever feel that good again? Its hard to believe I will but im hangin on the hope that I will. The dissasociative disorders are a nightmare, like your not living but just merely existing
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't have the problems you've had to deal with, but I can tell you that I feel wonderful now, and have since I healed from the Klonopin.  The anxiety I used to think I had was nothing compared to what the benzo's put me through, so life is pretty easy these days.  Keep hanging on, you'll get there.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have lived with anxiety for around 13 years, between the anxiety that started this whole mess and the damage from the xanax I wonder if ill ever feel as clear mentally as I did when I was a teenager with no worries in the world. Anyone here that has recovered can answer that for me? Do we ever feel that good again? Its hard to believe I will but im hangin on the hope that I will. The dissasociative disorders are a nightmare, like your not living but just merely existing

 

For me, this was one of the worst feelings in the world.

 

I can tell you that yes, there truly is life outside of benzos.  I went through a horrific time - a little over 3 years, and now I am learning to enjoy life again.  What is so amazing about it, is that I live in an area and culture that I absolutely hate! But yet I am learning to enjoy my life.  Just the simple joys of cooking, sitting in a chair with a cup of coffee to enjoy the sunrise, watching a really good movie or reading a great book, going for a run through the forrest by my house - these things are so simple but I am learning to enjoy them and they make me feel happy now.  Happy is a word I never thought would be in my vocabulary back when I was in withdrawal.

 

I know how had it is to feel like you are simply existing. I've been there.  But I hope you can take take courage and know that this feeling will not last.  These drugs do horrible things to our minds, and once you can keep telling yourself that it's the drug doing this to you, I truly believe you will feel a tiny bit better.  It won't be all at once, but rather bit by bit. :) 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

×
×
  • Create New...