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People around me doesnt understand my withdrawal


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getting so angry and sad, i cant be understood by doctors and phsycologist.

My mom is the only one that wants to understand and lissen and i am so grateful for that.

but noone cant understand me really and i feel like 5 years and am an adult

the doctor makes me look ridicoulous,i cant be in withdrawal they say to me.

i am so depressed my mind wont stop racing,damn tinnitus that is so loud constant,

anxeity,afraid over most things,weak,alone,panic, its the mental house soon and i dont want to be there.. so confused

really need help guys  :'(

 

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Hey Tomas, I have just posted about this subject with kd35 on his blog.  It is a common situation many people going through benzo withdrawal run into - dealing with people who don't understand.  Here is what I posted about it.  You are less than 4 months benzo-free... it is still fairly early and it can take between 6 to 18 months on average to reach a suitable level of healing or even complete healing.

 

I hear ya kd... doctors, friends, and relatives can make us feel a lot worse than we actually are by making us question our sanity. This may be a battle that you will have to fight with very little offline support.  It is the same situation with me, no one really understands the severity and duration of the symptoms.  After a couple weeks or days of being off medication they assume that you should be healed or back to your normal self.  Don't hold any ill will towards any of your friends or family... for it will only be another emotional burden to carry.  This is the reason why support groups like these are formed.  Sometimes you have to experience benzo withdrawal to "get it".  And everyone at this forum does get it and we are all here for you  :thumbsup:

 

After what I have gone through since the start of this year, I have learned to let a lot of things (like people's ignorance) slide off my shoulders.  You can talk til you are blue in the face about the Ashton Manual or the down regulation of the GABA receptors and people will look at you like you are making stuff up  ::)  That being said, I am sure eventually people can find a doctor or a close friend/relative who understands (or tries to).  Just don't get too frustrated with the ones that refuse to.

 

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My tinnitus is off the charts to.      Alot of ppl around me don't understand either.  I am so tired of trying to explain things, that I just stay away from them for now.  Everything you are going through I have to. Tomas we will all make it through this.  Day by day.  Do your ears ache and pop to.     Stay strong   Linder
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Hi Tomas,

 

I am SO sorry you're feeling so alone....in that way I cannot relate as I've had amazing support through family/friends/husband...and even (sort of) doctors).  BUT, I hope this helps...even though you don't have personal support...other than your mom...please know that every pharmacist I have spoken with or dealt with has confirmed 100% that we are going through true withdrawal.  It's not in our heads...we are not insane.  I have dealt w/ 4 pharmacists and all 4 are in agreement that most people they see at their counter who attempt to come off of a Benzo, do not succeed b/c they cannot handle the s/x.  Just think of how strong you are - mentally - to be doing this w/ little support.  My one pharmacist said to even call any time when I feel helpless...just to be reassured it IS withdrawal.  And it is unfortunate that others don't understand...I know for me, I wrote an e-mail to my closest friends and family, explaining what I will be going through in the coming months and that I will need as much support as possible....even if by support that means I just want to be left alone.  I also sent them links to various sites that explain Benzo w/d so that they can understand it as best as possible.  They were all very thankful...and yes, some don't get it and ask me every time they see me "so, you must be feeling a lot better now, right?"...when I'm still in the midst of w/d and NOT feeling much better.  But I know that they can't fully get it if they're not exposed to it, so I just smile and say "ya...not really...but I'm getting there".  Some people can handle a more detailed answer, but you get a feel for those who can't.  

 

Just know that even though you feel very alone and scared....I DO have the support and even I feel totally alone and scared.  I don't know why.  I feel guilty that my husband/friends/family have to endure this w/ me.  I feel like I should be able to snap out of it and just go on w/ life.  But it's not that easy and in order to get to the end and finally enjoy life again, we have to go through the anxiety, restlessness, pains, etc.  And I hate every minute of it and have cried 2x today already.  But then I read something like your post and I realize how strong we all are!  We feel WRETCHED, but we're doing it!  So please know that even though you feel alone, you always have "us", and even though it's not a friend who can sit w/ you, at least we DO fully understand what you're going through.  My husband tried so hard to get me through a panic attack last night and in the end there was nothing he could do but just sit and watch.  

 

Again, I am SO sorry you feel so alone.  I know I have that "child like" feeling as well.  Like I suddenly need to rely on people the way I did when I was a kid.  But keep focusing on the "prize".  That you will feel good again.  

 

All the best, and I hope this helped even just a bit,

Schatje

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I am going through the same very much so and I think being alone and no one getting it is one of the worst parts of all this at least it makes the rest way worse.People expect me to be normal and treat me this way as if it was just another day in a normal life,but it's not at all.I've been feeling that I am going crazy lots of times very scary as well as the racing thoughts.I know my mind is playing tricks on me but while its really bad it seems so real!I am 3.5 months free and I know I'm probably just having a window but I do feel a little less crazy already.I think the insane thoughts are one of the first symptoms to go so hang in there thats what I'm trying to do and remember your not alone.
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[f6...]

It's hard for others to understand. They can't understand unless they have been there or in the withdrawal shoes.

The best way to explain it is have them to read the Ashton Manual.

I always say, "If they can't be around to help and understand why you're sick, then maybe they wasn't a true friend in the first place."

That's just me.

As far as family.. I think they care, but they don't know. I tend to say nothing about the withdrawal to my family.

Several friends and Acquaintances know.

 

 

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Hi Tomas, i understand your frustration as i live with my parents. I am 4 months clean and my dad thinks i am ok and that

there is nothing wrong with me. Just because i am not being sick and i am able to move around doing stuff dos'nt mean i

am fine !  I tend not to talk to my family or friends about it as it frustrates me even more because i also think that if your have not

been through this stuff you just can not understand it.

 

I go to a fellowship and talk about my problems with other recovering addicts and it is the best thing i have done for my

benzo addiction. The mental stuff is hard to deal with but you WILL get through it and try not to think about the future, just

concentrate on getting through each day and look no further. I find that a very useful tool.

 

Good luck man, hang in there :)

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Hey Tomas,

 

I'm going through the same exact problem that you are.  I recently tried to tell my family about this and they looked at me like I was crazy.  They tend to go with doctors words over mine.  I get so frustrated at times so I just really choose to stay away from everyone.

 

It is withdrawal you are going through though.  I've been of for going on 4 months and I'm in horrible shape.  When things get bad I just come here to talk with people, and it helps tremendously.  Your not alone, everyone here is suffering, or has already suffered but eventually got better.

 

Just keep faith, take it one day at a time.

 

Stay strong my friend,

 

KD

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[1b...]

I fully understand what you're going through. I'm on Day 44 of a CT from 30+ mg of Valium. I'm not as bad as I was but I am still dealing with a lot of things, which are different now as I go through the various fits and starts of my brain beginning to sputter to life. My wife is supportive -- but I know she just doesn't "get it" as to what I'm going through. I'm sure she thinks that at six-plus weeks I should be "healed." She says that I am acting perfectly normal, but I don't think she realizes how much I am just "faking it" so it doesn't wear her down.

 

I've not shared my situation with anyone else. Fortunately, my family is back east in Texas and Kentucky, so I only have contact with them by e-mail and occasional phone calls. My wife's from a large, extended Mexican-American family and they are always having family get-togethers. I've made it to one family function, which was an excruciating struggle at a child's birthday party attended by a lot of my wife's cousins, aunts and uncles. Somehow I managed to hang on -- and this was when I was about 3 to 4 weeks into my CT. It was the longest three hours!

 

I'm supposed to go over to one of my brothers-in-law's house on Saturday to show him how to remove linoleum and lay ceramic tile. I know I'll end up doing most of the work, because he's just not got a handyman bone in him. I'm a social worker but I've done a lot of home improvement projects where I've learned to lay tile, do roofing, etc., so I get asked to "help" with a lot of projects by my wife's five brothers. (She doesn't have a sister, so I'm the only male in-law; I have five sisters-in-law.) Anyway, the brother-in-law I'm going to help used to be a car salesman and now he owns his own insurance agency and, well, he loves to yack, yack, yack. The way I feel, I just want peace and quiet. I'll take up the linoleum and put down the tile with no problem, but I'm not looking forward to dealing with someone who wants to talk my ear off. Fortunately, he's so interested in what he has to say that he really doesn't pay attention to what anyone else says to him, so I'm hoping I can kind of shine him on and get the job done and be out of there. Tell him what's going on with me? No way. No way anyone in her family would understand. My family wouldn't either. So, I just deal with my life myself, and do my best to not make things so bad that my wife loses patience...

 

Hang in there. I've found that for a lot of people this benzo withdrawal insanity tends to be a very lonely, solitary situation. That's why I'm here at BB. I've found a lot of support here, and I hope you'll hang out for a while and keep us posted with what's going on with you!

 

Best wishes in your recovery.

 

Jac in Tucson

 

Me on Day 44:  :idiot:

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thx evryone for responding 

really need help from u guys i cant do this alone,

being alone is so hard in this,thx for talking about it

evryday is a struggle for me to try to be some ok in mind,am very afraid to loose my sanity

I read all days here and have helped me so much to fight all days,

my tinnitus is going on all days and nights,even dream about it,

i have ache sometimes but no popping,i really wish it goes away soon or go down i strenght

thx guys again for responding

 

 

 

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Hey Tomas.  Things really started to improve for me around the 5th month.  However, sometimes it is 2 steps forward and 1 step back.  It took me 18 months to really feel "back to where I was".  Yet by 6 months, I was about 80% healed.  Just a few stubborn symptoms lingered the full 18. It's very frustrating when doctors tell you that "you can't be in withdrawal". That's what the Emergency Room doctor told me after I showed up there with vertigo (extreme dizziness), insomnia, anxiety, palpitations... I told him that I had stopped taking valium c/t three weeks earlier and that I thought it was the cause and he poo poo'd it and said he would believe it if it were a week ago.   Don't they teach these numbskulls that it can take up to a month for valium to process out of the body. Which benzo did you take? Klonopin, for example, can take a couple weeks too and Crono is right, healing after that can be 6-18 months, some say up to 2 years.  Don't worry about what uninformed ignorant folks might say to you, even therapists and doctors might not have much experience.  I'd like to give about 30 pills to one of these guys the next time they say you can't be in withdrawal, let them take them for a month and then do a c/t and see what they feel a couple months later!  How long were you on a benzo, which one and for how long?  How did you get off it?  c/t?  taper?

 

Hang in there buddy,

 

Vertigo

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