The Happiness House

[[Ir...]]

I remember a paper I once had to write as a sophomore in high-school itvwas for my Comparitive Religions Class. Our teacher asked us what would we do if we came across a house in the woods that we could walk into knowing full well that we would be infinitely happy. Once we went in the house we could never come out. Would we choose to walk into the house? My answer (only a cpl small years before I took that first precious blue football) was, absolutely not! Eventually it wouldn't be happiness anymore. There would be no collateral. It wouldn't mean anything without the sorrow. I feel like benzos were my "happiness box". It imploded.  The house is on fire. So my question is...how I deal with this constant onslaught of emotions that come in so many different forms? They really take you off guard. You know, the big ones...the ones that make you flush from head to toe, shoot an electric charge through your heart, leave your speech garbled, and you at times lifeless...

[[Be...]]

I thought Xanax was a magic bullet and I could take it for the rest of my life and feel good all the time; boy was I wrong.  It imploded on me too.  I would go into that happy house now and stay there.

[[Pa...]]

I remember a paper I once had to write as a sophomore in high-school itvwas for my Comparitive Religions Class. Our teacher asked us what would we do if we came across a house in the woods that we could walk into knowing full well that we would be infinitely happy. Once we went in the house we could never come out. Would we choose to walk into the house? My answer (only a cpl small years before I took that first precious blue football) was, absolutely not! Eventually it wouldn't be happiness anymore. There would be no collateral. It wouldn't mean anything without the sorrow. I feel like benzos were my "happiness box". It imploded.  The house is on fire. So my question is...how I deal with this constant onslaught of emotions that come in so many different forms? They really take you off guard. You know, the big ones...the ones that make you flush from head to toe, shoot an electric charge through your heart, leave your speech garbled, and you at times lifeless...

 

What an interesting way of putting this experience, I know what you mean about happiness and how it sometimes has to be accompanied by pain in order to realize how good happiness can be.

 

I know you're being bombarded right now but what you'll know when you recover is gratitude and for me, that's happiness.  Just keep telling yourself this is temporary, a very long temporary for sure but you'll be you again and life will feel so much more manageable because of the strength you've had to build to get through this.

[[Ir...]]

Becks,

 

We were wrong, huh? Benzos made me feel like a superhero, like I could do anything. It also made me feel like the weakest human to ever exist. There is so much I haven't reconciled. I think we all prefer to be happy. Sounds like some people here actually experience more happy days than naught. I am glad you are here.

 

IG

[[Ir...]]

Pamster,

 

I sure hope it is temporary. I think people that are able to get off of benzos are some of the strongest. I hope that it isn't the only strong thing I am know for...I apppreciate the support!

 

IG