Spiritual Warfare? Chemical?

[[ki...]]

Has anyone trouble with being on/weaning off meds and feeling deeply dark spiritual depression and hopelessness? A feeling that doesn’t seem like it could be chemical at all.

[[sa...]]

Has anyone trouble with being on/weaning off meds and feeling deeply dark spiritual depression and hopelessness? A feeling that doesn’t seem like it could be chemical at all.

 

Yes!  That's always by biggest fear when falling into this type of pit.  The spiritual darkness and inability to connect with God and other people.  It's like losing yourself.

[[ki...]]

Have you ever felt creeped out or like demons were watching you or putting hopeless thoughts into your head? I never felt like this before. Believing it’s due to anti-depressant poop out or withdrawal because I’ve never felt like this before. Maybe a bit during benzo withdrawal but that was more clearly chemical for some reason.

[[sa...]]

Have you ever felt creeped out or like demons were watching you or putting hopeless thoughts into your head? I never felt like this before. Believing it’s due to anti-depressant poop out or withdrawal because I’ve never felt like this before. Maybe a bit during benzo withdrawal but that was more clearly chemical for some reason.

 

It really does feel like that.  Like some evil, dark force comes over you and it feels almost impossible to fight against it.  I recently watched one of Jocylen's videos (From Benzo Brains on YouTube) where she talks about the similarities between benzo withdrawal, Lyme disease symptoms, and COVID-19 symptoms.  They're all pretty similar and all involve this horrible state of severe anxiety/depression that leaves you wanting to leave this world.  She feels that there's good evidence that both Lyme and COVID-19 were lab creations, as are benzos, as we know.  It seems like this level of suffering does notoften come about naturally.  It's a form of artificial torture. 

 

These are all just speculations and opinions.  But I think this is why it takes such massive will and strength to keep going push through the symptoms.  They're just so very hellish and otherworldly. 

[[Jo...]]

Ask yourself this question.  If I were healed completely… would I still feel this way… or would I feel the same and still be having these thoughts ?

 

I’ve been feeling that way… and having similar thoughts off and on… for the past 12 years being so sick from benzos n meds I’ve had several near death experiences.  God showed me the power our own minds have in lying to us and deceiving us.  He showed me that it feels that way and we think that way and it seems so real to our minds because of that very thing.  It IS our own minds… and to our own minds… those thoughts n feelings are real because we are real and our own mind is real.

 

I believe God is GREATER than my own deceitful mind.  (1 John 3:20 in context)  I believe the “heart” is the “mind.”  I believe external spiritual entities get far more credit than they deserve for this nitemare.  I try telling myself… “Every time I feel love… I feel God.”  Even after 12 years of suffering as much as anyone I’ve ever met on here… the times when God gave me signs he still loves and is with me… have kept me going and have got me thus far.

 

It’s only normal for a hurting and panicked brain to believe God has left them on their own or isn’t helping them anymore.  When the mind can’t figure out what is going on… or think up a solution to stop an inexplicable terrifying reality… it will start drawing it’s own conclusions whether true or not.  As far as devils are concerned… just because God hasn’t healed us… do you really think he’s mean enough to give us over to devils (demons) ?  That’s just it…. the longevity of it causes our feeble minds to start believing the very worst… especially if we can’t feel God because we are sick… and the only way we can usually feel him which is by his love toward us from another person… we rarely do… because people rarely love us.

 

It takes courage to believe what I’m saying is true.  Even more courage than it does to believe your mind is really tormented by external spiritual entities.  I believe the mind is more tormented just by not knowing.  It takes “good courage” to keep waiting and to keep believing in God’s goodness and faithfulness while our minds are lying to us and torturing us year after year after year… but if you really want to get down to brass tax… the bible mentions these “torments” that I am speaking of… as there being a kind of torments that is not demonic or spiritually related.

 

In the context:

 

Mat 4:24  And his fame went throughout all Syria: and they brought unto him all sick people that were taken with divers diseases and torments, and those which were possessed with devils, and those which were lunatick, and those that had the palsy; and he healed them.

 

Those torments are categorized with divers diseases… and the spiritual entities stuff is put into a different category… yet God still healed them all at an appointed time.  Our brains n bodies have been damaged.  Whether permanently or temporarily only God knows.  Have the courage to start believing more about what you CAN’T feel and less about what you CAN feel.  From this day forward just try to do that every single day.  You may not see the results… but God will see you not giving up… and a strong faith that you yourself may not even see. 

 

In time… more about what we are going through will be revealed and so will more of his goodness, and his lovingkindnesses.  Besides… how will we be able to comfort others going through this… unless we ourselves first suffer the worst of it so that God can grant us the comfort n understanding we all so desperately need ?

 

 

Kindly,

j

[[ki...]]

Thanks all for your replies. Doing a bit better in this area of symptoms and hoping it stays this way. Might be from tricyclic anti-d withdrawal but it’s a pretty delayed reaction and mostly never feels chemical or like something from a drug or withdrawal. Scary stuff. I’m hugely relieved I’ve been better this past week.

[[Jo...]]

Thanks all for your replies. Doing a bit better in this area of symptoms and hoping it stays this way. Might be from tricyclic anti-d withdrawal but it’s a pretty delayed reaction and mostly never feels chemical or like something from a drug or withdrawal. Scary stuff. I’m hugely relieved I’ve been better this past week.

 

Awesome !!  🙌🏽

[[La...]]

Ask yourself this question.  If I were healed completely… would I still feel this way… or would I feel the same and still be having these thoughts ?

 

I’ve been feeling that way… and having similar thoughts off and on… for the past 12 years being so sick from benzos n meds I’ve had several near death experiences.  God showed me the power our own minds have in lying to us and deceiving us.  He showed me that it feels that way and we think that way and it seems so real to our minds because of that very thing.  It IS our own minds… and to our own minds… those thoughts n feelings are real because we are real and our own mind is real.

 

I believe God is GREATER than my own deceitful mind.  (1 John 3:20 in context)  I believe the “heart” is the “mind.”  I believe external spiritual entities get far more credit than they deserve for this nitemare.  I try telling myself… “Every time I feel love… I feel God.”  Even after 12 years of suffering as much as anyone I’ve ever met on here… the times when God gave me signs he still loves and is with me… have kept me going and have got me thus far.

 

It’s only normal for a hurting and panicked brain to believe God has left them on their own or isn’t helping them anymore.  When the mind can’t figure out what is going on… or think up a solution to stop an inexplicable terrifying reality… it will start drawing it’s own conclusions whether true or not.  As far as devils are concerned… just because God hasn’t healed us… do you really think he’s mean enough to give us over to devils (demons) ?  That’s just it…. the longevity of it causes our feeble minds to start believing the very worst… especially if we can’t feel God because we are sick… and the only way we can usually feel him which is by his love toward us from another person… we rarely do… because people rarely love us.

 

It takes courage to believe what I’m saying is true.  Even more courage than it does to believe your mind is really tormented by external spiritual entities.  I believe the mind is more tormented just by not knowing.  It takes “good courage” to keep waiting and to keep believing in God’s goodness and faithfulness while our minds are lying to us and torturing us year after year after year… but if you really want to get down to brass tax… the bible mentions these “torments” that I am speaking of… as there being a kind of torments that is not demonic or spiritually related.

 

In the context:

 

Mat 4:24  And his fame went throughout all Syria: and they brought unto him all sick people that were taken with divers diseases and torments, and those which were possessed with devils, and those which were lunatick, and those that had the palsy; and he healed them.

 

Those torments are categorized with divers diseases… and the spiritual entities stuff is put into a different category… yet God still healed them all at an appointed time.  Our brains n bodies have been damaged.  Whether permanently or temporarily only God knows.  Have the courage to start believing more about what you CAN’T feel and less about what you CAN feel.  From this day forward just try to do that every single day.  You may not see the results… but God will see you not giving up… and a strong faith that you yourself may not even see. 

 

In time… more about what we are going through will be revealed and so will more of his goodness, and his lovingkindnesses.  Besides… how will we be able to comfort others going through this… unless we ourselves first suffer the worst of it so that God can grant us the comfort n understanding we all so desperately need ?

 

 

Kindly,

j

Absolutely fabulous read. Might I add that everything we go through is a test whether it’s what we so call good or so call bad. Without these tests we wouldn’t have testimonies. 

I know for a fact that sometimes God allows us to linger in our troubles for awhile on purpose. Why would a loving God do that? Because if he made everything so easy to “ fix” then we’d somehow take credit for it. He must give us spiritual exercise because we must grow in his grace. Just like a physical body hitting the gym. The muscles are broken down for awhile but when they repair themselves they’re stronger. Spiritual exercise is necessary. What kind of righteous children we’d be if we’re weak?  He’s strong…he is strength so it makes sense that his children be the same. Him being a perfect parent is going to make sure we get plenty of exercise. 

He made these bodies…they all belong to him so he very much so know how to heal them. But, in his time.