Can I keep pushing thru this

[[mi...]]

Dear BB.  I need you help.. I just started titrating today...  I thank you for all of your encourgment here, I really do.  I am right now at 1.5 mg of K.  Oh BB this is getting harder and harder, to much for my body and mind.  Tell me what to do.  I do no need therapy I just need your support.  The pain is getting impossible right now.    I have been in withdrawal since last July2010 from serequel and a low dose of K.  It never stopped.... The cold turkey, the od of benzos, now this.. Maybe this is why I am so bad.  I am really trying so hard, YES IS AM.. The s/x are to scary and hurtful.  Is it like that for you.. Am i Just crazy because of this pain.  The insomnia has not stopped the burning is getting worse.. My anxiety is off the roof... Yes at one point of the taper i did not feel it so strong but now I feel more.  It is not even about family anymore.  Yes, my hubby told me yesterday he thought I was wacked, my kids have there own lives.  My hubby said he cannot wait till this is over.  He still does not understand.  But anyway this is still not about them.  It i s about me ONLY ME to actually do this.  I am in withdrawal for 11 months between the other meds.  Yes I stopped the serequel back in Sept of 2010.... How much more withdrawal can you take, or can I take. I am starting to get looks from family because of the pain.  Please BB i NEED more strength.  I am talking with your right now at 10:00am eastern time.  The burning is horrible... I still have way more to finish.... Please tell me how to hold on.  If this is bad to me how will I handle protracted.  I know take one day at at time.

 

I am reaching out to you again.  I am sorry.  I have no one to turn to.  I am crying so hard.  Yes  I can turn to you for help.. Please give me some advise to continue HOW.  i have never benn so scared in my whole life.  The mental and physical.. Why am I getting worse.  I hope i did the titration correctly.. I cannot face anyone anymore.  Last night also, I could not breathe and so much more s/x.  HOW DO YOU DO IT.  Hope to hear from you soon.  Luv Mishi

[[xe...]]

Mishi, how much worse is this than when you c/t? You are the worst case of anyone I've ever seen still ON the drug. I honestly think you should consider getting off as fast as you can without having a seizure, in a detox center or something where you are taken care of. I know that advice will be frowned upon... but I just don't see this slow taper working for you.

[[mi...]]

Mishi, how much worse is this than when you c/t? You are the worst case of anyone I've ever seen still ON the drug. I honestly think you should consider getting off as fast as you can without having a seizure, in a detox center or something where you are taken care of. I know that advice will be frowned upon... but I just don't see this slow taper working for you.

 

No xenofears cold turkey is worse  I hit a big wall at 1.5  No the taper is not good for me but there is no more detoxes to go to for this where.  I have to do this on my own.  Alot of people have withdrawals tapering is that not right.  Thank you mishi

[[le...]]

Hi Mishi,

 

Thinking of you today. I'm sorry for all that you are suffering. I don't have any advice just lots of hugs and support.

 

Love,

Leslie

[[xe...]]

Alot of people have withdrawals tapering is that not right.

 

I've never seen it theis severe still at 1.5mg K from a slow taper unless you are getting paradoxical, I think you might be... anyone else please chime in?

 

I'm sorry you have to do this alone. If you can't go inpatient somewhere -- get yourself off your husband's hands for a while too -- then you really have no choice anyway but to continue the slow taper and I don't have any further advice, just my support.

[[ja...]]

Mishi... :'(...I get so upset when I hear ur suffering! I completely understand all ur fears and know how dibilitateing they are!!! I have been there and I understand..This is what I can say ...This w/d is exactly that and it will reak havoc on our minds and bodys but the best thing for me was TRUE exceptence I mean truely knowing this is all w/d and these sxs are behond terrifieying and creepy ..and to try and stay as calm as possible knowing they do pass and they will not kill us!!! You will get thru this Mishi were going to help you ;)You just take a deep breath and know you are not alone!!!! Love u Mishi

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bMbEOofifXY

[[mt...]]

HI Mishi

Titration will not make you feel better if your daily cuts are too big.  Also are you taking your dose once a day?  I always took my dose twice a day (but I was on valium with a longer half life) and would often dose 4 times a day when I hit a rough spot.  This really helped me keep the levels of benzo in my blood stable and avoided the peaks and valleys that can make our symptoms spike. 

 

If you are ill you need to reduce your daily cut and begin to spread out your doses at even times throughout the day. Its what saved me.  I was extremely sensitive.  It took me 20 months to taper off of 15mg of valium.  I am 3 months off and feeling great.  You will get there! 

 

Tapering can be a fine art and you need to tweak it constantly if you want to minimize your symptoms.

 

Hope you feel better soon!!

Mimi

[[Fr...]]

Hi Mishi, I want to send you a big hug because that's what you need right now.  I know where you are coming from Mishi because I've been poly drugged because I tried to go off Ativan too fast and because of other things, like horrible psychiatrist.

 

I've been through Paxil WD, took me three years and have suffered greatly. I've weaned off some of my Trazodone and now am weaning off Valium since over a year so I know how discouraged one can get with pain, depression, anger, etc all the things that going off these drugs can do to us. ---but Mishi, you will get there, believe me. I'm having a good window and can hardly believe it. I always take Tylenol for the pain and maybe soak in a hot bath. My favourite is a long hot shower when I feel bad. If I do nothing, I try to do that. Stress is very bad for bringing on the s/x and weaning causes stress, so we have to try and do the best that we can.

 

I don't know if this helps but know that I've been through hell and coming out the other side and I think that you will also.

 

Frannie

[[ne...]]

Mishi, i am sending you hugs and good energy!

i'm tapering and withdrawing right there with you, and i am so sorry your having to deal with all this pain.

[[mi...]]

Mishi, i am sending you hugs and good energy!

i'm tapering and withdrawing right there with you, and i am so sorry your having to deal with all this pain.

 

Thank you new life you are so sweet to care. Hope your tapering is going well.  We are in this together.  Talk to me anytime.  Be well. Mishi

[[mi...]]

Mishi... :'(...I get so upset when I hear ur suffering! I completely understand all ur fears and know how dibilitateing they are!!! I have been there and I understand..This is what I can say ...This w/d is exactly that and it will reak havoc on our minds and bodys but the best thing for me was TRUE exceptence I mean truely knowing this is all w/d and these sxs are behond terrifieying and creepy ..and to try and stay as calm as possible knowing they do pass and they will not kill us!!! You will get thru this Mishi were going to help you ;)You just take a deep breath and know you are not alone!!!! Love u Mishi

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bMbEOofifXY

 

Thank you Jaso sweetheart so much.  I am so happy you are my friend.  I am deeply touched by you.  This is unbelievable.  Kids do not want to understand.  Hubby I do not know.  I hope I can  pull thru this jaso.  I need to live.  I am happy you are going to help me thru this.  I will not feel alone anymore.  The fact is I am at home with my family who is suppose to understand...  Where else would I go.  Jaso I am scared of surgery and more.  By Christmas I hopefully will be going thru protracted symptoms and over with the taper.  This was the plan.  Not that I am looking for the symptoms but how to say I will be done after the last pill. That would be a miracle... I hope you are doing well in your life.  Your kids are so lucky to have you in there lives.  You are an amazing human being.  Care about you so much.  Luv u Jaso19

[[mi...]]

Mishi, how much worse is this than when you c/t? You are the worst case of anyone I've ever seen still ON the drug. I honestly think you should consider getting off as fast as you can without having a seizure, in a detox center or something where you are taken care of. I know that advice will be frowned upon... but I just don't see this slow taper working for you.

 

No xenofears cold turkey is worse  I hit a big wall at 1.5  No the taper is not good for me but there is no more detoxes to go to for this where.  I have to do this on my own.  Alot of people have withdrawals tapering is that not right.  Thank you mishi

 

Thank you xenofears.  Yes I hit a wall.  I am titrating at 1.5.  Just started.. It gets confusing for me sometimes.  I hope you are doing well.  I like to chat with you... Care about you also...  Thank you for all of your support and love... Your friend Mishi

[[mi...]]

Hi Mishi,

 

Thinking of you today. I'm sorry for all that you are suffering. I don't have any advice just lots of hugs and support.

 

Love,

Leslie

 

Thank you sweetie for your hugs and support.  That is enough for me right now.  Hope you are happy and well in your life.  Hugs back to you mishi.

[[ne...]]

Hey Mishi, how are you doing today? Was thinking about ya, and wanted to say "stay strong!"

 

[[mi...]]

Mishi, i am sending you hugs and good energy!

i'm tapering and withdrawing right there with you, and i am so sorry your having to deal with all this pain.

 

Hi new life so we are in this together how are you doing.  How is your pain...Please pm me so we can chat.. I thank you for writing me back.. Do you feel better or worse on your taper... Be well and nice to meet you.. Hugs back to you. Mishi