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Hi my name is Dan


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Hi my name is Dan,

I was on Clonazepam from sometime in 1997 until September 13, 2010

Honestly, i probably started abusing these pills right away.

Roughly 3 years ago, I started running 2 prescriptions.

By this time, I was was using on average 10mg a day.

I couldn't live with them or without them.

I checked myself into rehab. I started a taper at a dose of 4mg a day. I tapered until I took my last Clonazepam September 13th, 2010

I realize now, what a huge amount of this drug that I was using.

I have been free of these benzos Since 9-13-2010! What a difficult journey. I am gradually getting better, but it is still often very hard.

I am simply looking for support and to give support, to share stories et.

Thank you ,

Dan

 

 

 

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Hi Danman:

 

Welcome to Benzo Buddies!!! Congrats on being benzo free.  I think you will find there are lots of people here with stories similar to yours.  How are you doing with withdrawal symptoms these days?

 

best,

 

Draftsman

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Hi Draftsman,

thank you for the welcome!

Withdrawal symptoms, well, Maybe only once a day to I have a severe mood swing (remember this too shall pass)

I still have tinnitus- comes and goes, I do feel like my hearing has changed because of my abuse.

I tire everyday by early evening.

Some time slightly jumpy, muscle spasms,

Early in withdrawal, I often had feelings of "did I think like this before, or do I just think like this now?"

I hope that makes sense.

How are you doing?

 

-Dan

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Hi Dan:

 

I've had all the symptoms you are describing at one time or another.  I just hit the seventh month off mark, and while I feel fortunate to be significantly better, I still have a good ways to go.  Today I'm feeling pretty fatigued, but these things shall pass.  Each month does get better!

 

Draftsman

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Hi Dan, Welcome!

 

It sounds like you were eating the Klonopin like candy, I know I was and as I recall, it actually had a sweet taste to it.  :sick:  Congratulations on being benzo free, that's an accomplishment, now if you could just be symptom free, life would be good.  But don't worry okay, it will be when you get past all of this, I promise.  ;)

 

Pam

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WOW!

I am so thankful for all of the support

Yes, I was eating Klonopin like candy.

If I didn't have at least 8 pills in my pocket I didn't feel safe.

 

Well, away from stressors, like family members who are unable to understand, I can feel kind of at ease.

 

I could not have worked tapering.

It was all I could do to play solitaire on the computer. (I think it really helped my focus)

Well, coming up on 8 months benzo free! Yee!

 

-Dan

 

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Distraction is important, so perhaps that's what Solitaire was for you.  It's difficult to be around people, I had to start faking like I was okay because no one could understand why I was still feeling like I was, they all thought it was in my head. 
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Quite a journey.  congrats.  its just gonna get better and better.  Its an inspiration hearing you were able to get off such a high dose

:yippee: :yippee: :yippee:

st

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Yes!

 

about 3 years ago, in about a 4 month period, my appendix burst, while in the hospital for 1 week with that, I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes.

a couple of months later I had a stroke and lost my right field of vision. All of this solidified my benzo abuse.

 

Well, even though life dealt me a lot to handle, I was able to kick the Clonazepam!

 

Some of my vision has come back.

I lost weight.

Work out all of the time.

 

So, I hope members can see that even though life "really happens" sometime, we can do this!

 

-Dan

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Congratulations Dan. That is quite an accomplishment. Way to go. 

 

Can't wait to read more of your posts.

 

Pam

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Yes!

 

about 3 years ago, in about a 4 month period, my appendix burst, while in the hospital for 1 week with that, I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes.

a couple of months later I had a stroke and lost my right field of vision. All of this solidified my benzo abuse.

 

Well, even though life dealt me a lot to handle, I was able to kick the Clonazepam!

 

Some of my vision has come back.

I lost weight.

Work out all of the time.

 

So, I hope members can see that even though life "really happens" sometime, we can do this!

 

-Dan

What an inspiration you are! thanks for sharing your story  :thumbsup:

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Wow,

thank you all for the congrats!

 

I hate to think, but it could be true, "I should've been dead" (I'm only 47)

With my benzo history combined with health history.

 

My answer, which is what I say when a Dr. asks if I have suicidal thoughts..

"No! I haven't gotten mine yet!"

 

and again, I am so grateful for this forum. Sometimes I think that we only know what we go through!

 

-Dan

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Today I am 8 months off Clonazepam!!

 

 

There was a time when I didn't think I could last 2 hours without  taking a pill.

 

 

Miracles happen.

 

-Dan

 

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Hi Dan, Welcome to BB! Congrats on being benzo free, you're an inspiration to the rest of us. I too use solitaire for distraction. Trying to beat my score can be fun.  :)

 

Frannie

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Hi,

having a really rough day.

 

the lack of sunshine really makes me feel awful. We are on day 3 of 6 of rain and no sun.

 

I feel so lost. I know this passes, but while going through it is really very painful.

I think accepting the things I cannot change fits.

But compiled with what we benzobuddies are going through, it is really tough.

 

Thanks for reading,

 

--Dan :'(

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Hang in there, Dan.  Things really do improve with time.  But, in the meantime, working on that acceptance model will really help you enormously.

 

Stay strong.

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Hi,

 

I went to the gym and worked out, didn't think I had the energy, but I did it

yeah me!

 

I am feeling better

 

Thank you Bevoir for your support!

 

-Dan

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I went to the gym and worked out, didn't think I had the energy, but I did it

yeah me!

 

 

That is AWESOME!!  :thumbsup: 

 

I found my daily exercise routine to be a HUGE help in my recovery.  It wasn't easy to start with, but I soon began to feel the benefits and I really started to look forward to it each & every day.

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Hi Dan - Just wanted to congratulate you on your positive upbeat attitude and that you are 8 months benzo free.  Me too - I jumped off a small amount of K .098 on Sept 7, 2010 so I am right there with you in your withdrawal.  Unfortunately, I don't seem to be able to be as upbeat as you are and find myself feeling miserable most of the time.  I know alot of it has to do with personalities and you have an upbeat one - certainly to be able to survive all that you survived in that 4 month time period and the benzos w/d. 

      I just wanted to check in with you and hope that as you progress, I can follow in your footsteps.  It has been a long, hellish journey and I am just so ready to be over it.  I am older than you - 65, but am hoping that I can still heal in a decent amount of time.  Do you get any windows?  So glad to have met you, thought sorry it has to be while on BB -

Love Hoping2BFree

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Hi,

Thank yo so much for your encouragement.

Do I get windows, yes.

It might be simply that I am healing and becoming re-familiar with myself.

I also think that as I heal the everyday pressures of life become more, um,important, or maybe I am starting to care about more things in addition to my recovery? Make sense?

I have been working out at the local YMCA for almost 5 months. I am a cardio junkie!

I used to be a personal trainer way back when, before I started my Clonazepam.

 

You can do this Hoping2BFree!

Add some exercise if you can. I really think patience with oneself is so important. I think I become most frustrated when I attach "should" to things.

 

Thank you for this forum!

 

 

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The support found on BB is amazing!

 

It is so great to know others are going through or have gone through what I am going through.

 

Through sharing we support and encourage each other to succeed! (I like how the word "encourage" has the word "courage" in it.

 

I wish a happy healing day to all!

 

[move]...calm of mind... focus..[/move]

 

-Dan :thumbsup:

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