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5 days left on taper.....???


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Lately, I actually feel like I'm dying... Like my body is dying.... Everything seems to be shutting down.  I wonder if it is the w/d symptoms...  I have major depression, NO ENERGY, and I feel like I am actually not going to be around....Life and things around me seem so what's the word, hard, long, passing by quickly.  This is stupid for me to feel this way.  It's my body telling me it's up it's over, I certainly am not thinking of killing myself or anything... It's like my body wants to go and my mind wants to stay.....  I am 49 I feel like I'm 89.  Will this feeling go away?  Does anyone out there feel like this?????  5 days left on my taper... I'm thinking if I feel like this now, what am I going to feel like when I'm off it???  Worse?  I also look like I've aged about 15 yrs older....  :'(    Early empty nest syndrome too....  Kids are still here, but feel like they are already gone....  This is the worst feeling like feeling as I say, Peyucky...  Can't tell if it is the w/d or not.  I suppose it is just not sure.

 

 

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Hi Cathy...I am nearing the end  of my taper also and wondering the same thing.  What Hell will I step into once I am off completely.  I cannot imagine it being any worse than this, but my negativity tells me 'yes it can'.  I am trying so hard to push the 'what if's' aside.  I have read many posts where people actually felt somewhat better once off.  I have been in tolerance for several months with no windows.  I am being ravaged daily.  I know exactly what you mean about your body wanting to go and your mind wanting to stay...stated perfectly.  It is all w/d.

 

Hang in there and we will make it!

 

Donna

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Really, because I was beginning to wonder.  This is so strange how the body is actually feeling like dying, not that it wants to, but that it actually feels like it's the flesh, bone pulling me down.  I feel like I'm loaded with toxins in every pore of my body, but cannot get rid of them.  I can hardly walk around, we went to a strawberry festival yesterday, I couldn't do anything!  Everyone was enjoying  themselves, all around me, but I was in total misery people were running, eating, buying, laughing, playing...... I felt like I was out of my body watching them.... Feeling my body like aging every hour getting worse and worse and worse... I so hope it's the taper.  My kids 15, and 10 kept telling me, what's wrong with you, my daughter said mom, you look like a zombie.  Then we left and I could barley walk it felt like my legs weighed down w/lead or something.  I would give my left foot if I could feel better again.... I am sick and tired of feeling like a piece of crap!  There is never anything to do, that seems interesting to me.  Want to turn a frown upside down.  Inside I feel sssooooo tired almost like I'm melting, but I cannot relax. 

 

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I am sorry that you are feeling so bad Cathy!  I know what you mean....I hate these benzos and the taper.  I am hoping that I will feel like me again once I get off them, but that is still months down the road.  Hang in there!  You can do this!  I hope that you have  Happy Mother's Day!

 

Midwest :smitten:

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