Terrifed do not want to keept taking the K anymore

[[mi...]]

Hi BB.  I have been home for 3 days now.  I am in a panic.  I do know exactly how long I have been taking the K. It could have been 6 years on and off.. Not really sure.  Maybe 2mg sometimes Maybe less.  This scares me.  I want to stop taking the pills today.  I hated going to the doctor.  I am a complete failure in my life for me and my children.  Anyway My dogs keep me awake at night ,and I have to get rid of them..  Do not know what to do. One more night without sleep I can't.I love them and my kids will be devastated.  So will I.  But the sleep issue is enough for me.  Have not slept for days because of them. BB. Please we talked before this is getting worse.  I cannot take another pill.  Cannot take another night of this. Cannot take anymore of this pain.  I am so scared.  My family cannot understand why.  You do.  My sweet boy looks at me in the face and wants his mommy back.  I can't take this anymore.  No more pills please.  This pain is torture to me. The protracted symtoms are going to kill me.  If I cannot take tapering and going to get my medication, how will I take anything else that comes along.  I am feeling so desperate at this point. BB tell me what I can to stop this......The fear is taking over.  I am crying I need help.  Not from a doctor.  Thank you mishi

[[Be...]]

 Anyway My dogs keep me awake at night ,and I have to get rid of them.. 

 

Really?  Is it really necessary to get rid of your family pets because you are having trouble sleeping?  Surely there is something you can do to help keep your dogs quiet at night?  Simply getting rid of them seems horribly extreme and unfair to me.

 

And simply stopping your klonopin doses is also a very bad idea!  If you think you feel dreadful now, just imagine how awful you would feel if you went cold turkey.  Please do not do this!  If you are feeling that bad and do not feel like you can cope, I would advise you to seek professional medical attention immediately. But you must remember that you are feeling this way because of the klonopin withdrawals, and the only way to get through this nightmare is to accept the withdrawals as best you can and to taper as slowly and as sensibly as possible.  Perhaps you would be wise to hold your taper for a while until you feel more stable and them make smaller, slower cuts after that.  I felt as awful as you do right now when I was tapering; it was hell, but the only way to feel better is to get off of this pills...but not via a cold turkey.  That would not help you at all.

 

Once again, Mishi, if you think that you are in danger of hurting yourself or others, or that you simply cannot function, please seek immediate medical attention.

[[mi...]]

 Anyway My dogs keep me awake at night ,and I have to get rid of them.. 

 

Really?  Is it really necessary to get rid of your family pets because you are having trouble sleeping?  Surely there is something you can do to help keep your dogs quiet at night?  Simply getting rid of them seems horribly extreme and unfair to me.

 

And simply stopping your klonopin doses is also a very bad idea!  If you think you feel dreadful now, just imagine how awful you would feel if you went cold turkey.  Please do not do this!  If you are feeling that bad and do not feel like you can cope, I would advise you to seek professional medical attention immediately. But you must remember that you are feeling this way because of the klonopin withdrawals, and the only way to get through this nightmare is to accept the withdrawals as best you can and to taper as slowly and as sensibly as possible.  Perhaps you would be wise to hold your taper for a while until you feel more stable and them make smaller, slower cuts after that.  I felt as awful as you do right now when I was tapering; it was hell, but the only way to feel better is to get off of this pills...but not via a cold turkey.  That would not help you at all.

 

Once again, Mishi, if you think that you are in danger of hurting yourself or others, or that you simply cannot function, please seek immediate medical attention.

 

Thank you bevoir I dont want to hurt myself I just think about it sometimes.  Can you please tell me if you are freezing cold if this is withdrawal freezing hands have to wear gloves  Thank you.  should i post this on the board .  I know what you mean about the dogs.  I cannot sleep at night as it is bevoir great.  When my sparky barks the whole neighborhood could hear him. This is to sad, I do not want to get rid of them but it has been days since i slept.  My sparky is a hunting dog i live in the woods I cannot keep him quiet.  I am so sad.  It is enough to go thru this agony buy now the dogs.  also pleas let me know about the freezing cold i feel in my body and in my hands thank you so much for your help.  I hope you are feeling well love, mishi 

[Guest [Si...]]

Mishi,

 

Welcome back to NY.

 

I'm in NY as well. You made it!

 

I agree with Bev. Why give up your pets? Don't let this pill do that. I have 2 dogs and a cat. They are helpful companions. I know it's hard to focus on other things sometimes, but giving them up isn't going to help.

 

And simply stopping your klonopin doses is also a very bad idea!  If you think you feel dreadful now, just imagine how awful you would feel if you went cold turkey.

 

Bev is correct.

Mishi, I stopped 5mg of Klonopin c/t once, and it was pure and utter hell.

You will get through this Mishi.. just hang in there and take it a step at a time.

I think you focus too much on the next day or in the future..

Live in the now.

If you feel like you're going to harm yourself, please seek help.

 

S#

[[Co...]]

Mishi, Hi there, you will be ok. Why dont you let things settle down a bit? You only just got back to NY a few days ago, everybody needs a little time to readjust. You, your son, even your dogs. Remember you are healing and the feelings youre having are temporary. I understand how you are feeling, you had some really traumatic things happen to you. So did I. Maybe some of the fear you have is related to what happened in the past. That is understandable. I promise you those feelings and memories will fade. You wont forget them, but they wont terrorize you. They will just be part of the story. Your own story about how you found out how strong you are. The strength is in you. You will be ok. Your son will be ok too. My daughter was very worried about me. Shes seen everything that Ive gone thru, and she is ok. She has learned a lot about compassion. She is in college now and doing well. I think being back in NY will help you. Being around your family, which isnt always easy, will remind you why you are going thru this. Things will get so much better for you. Love, Colleen 

[[St...]]

Hi Mishi, good to see you made it home.

 

I understand a bit about your sleeping problems, my dog is great but my neighbors dogs are terrible sometimes and they're right outside my bedroom window 

I finally bought ear plugs and reach for them if I hear the dogs barking, maybe for now you can try some ear plugs till your sleep comes back, it really helped me a lot. Another thing to try is if someone could exercise the dogs in the evening and wear them out so they'll be calm at night.... just a couple suggestions to try...

 

I get cold too mishi, I shiver sometimes, it seems like our body doesn't regulate temperature well right now, that does get better though, it was a lot worse for me but now it's only once in awhile.

 

Hope you're feeling better soon

 

star

[[Be...]]

 

Thank you bevoir I dont want to hurt myself I just think about it sometimes.  Can you please tell me if you are freezing cold if this is withdrawal freezing hands have to wear gloves  Thank you.  should i post this on the board .  I know what you mean about the dogs.  I cannot sleep at night as it is bevoir great.  When my sparky barks the whole neighborhood could hear him. This is to sad, I do not want to get rid of them but it has been days since i slept.  My sparky is a hunting dog i live in the woods I cannot keep him quiet.  I am so sad.  It is enough to go thru this agony buy now the dogs.  also pleas let me know about the freezing cold i feel in my body and in my hands thank you so much for your help.  I hope you are feeling well love, mishi 

 

Hi Mishi,

 

I really am sorry to hear that you are struggling so much.  This benzo journey to freedom is so very hard for so many of us.  I have heard of quite a few of our members who had to deal with cold hands or feet during and after their tapers.  It sounds like it is due to your withdrawals to me.  Just do what you can to stay warm & comfortable, okay?  And perhaps hold off on your next cut until you feel a little more stable.  I know how hard this is for you as I have been there and done that, but it truly does get better with time.

 

I truly hope that you are able to keep your dogs.  I would hate for you to get rid of them, and you will find that they will be great companions for you as you continue to taper, as Sigma said.  Star104 gave you some great suggestions for dealing with your dogs so I hope that some of those suggestions might help you.

 

We are all here for you 

[[mi...]]

Mishi,

 

Welcome back to NY.

 

I'm in NY as well. You made it!

 

I agree with Bev. Why give up your pets? Don't let this pill do that. I have 2 dogs and a cat. They are helpful companions. I know it's hard to focus on other things sometimes, but giving them up isn't going to help.

 

And simply stopping your klonopin doses is also a very bad idea!  If you think you feel dreadful now, just imagine how awful you would feel if you went cold turkey.

 

Hi Sigma, colleen and star.  I just received your message really late tonight.  I will right back to you tommorow.  Love you all so much.  Thank you.  You will be hearing back from me tomorrow i promise.  Be well  Please wait back for my response

 

Bev is correct.

Mishi, I stopped 5mg of Klonopin c/t once, and it was pure and utter hell.

You will get through this Mishi.. just hang in there and take it a step at a time.

I think you focus too much on the next day or in the future..

Live in the now.

If you feel like you're going to harm yourself, please seek help.

 

S#

[[pa...]]

Hi Mishi...  Listen.. you "cannot" stop taking the meds, you know that!  If you do, everything will spiral out of control.  You need to stop, take lots of deep breaths, try to balance things as much as you can.  Mishi, the dogs are not the problem, maybe irriating, but not the cause of lose of sleep, you understand and know that.  You need to stop and try to settle yourself.  You flew home from Florida... BRAVE!!!  You want and need to stay with your tapering.  In time things will get better.  Will you PLEASE connect with me... I've tried 3 x this day. Love to u Patty

[[...]]

i had ice cold feet that i was not able to get warm no matter what i did.  it was constant until 4 months off (but i c/t).  i didn't have cold hands, though.

 

i still get it sporadically.

[[Re...]]

Mishi

 

I'm so sorry you are going thru this. We actually got a dog to help our son deal with what is happening to me. I think your kids might feel a loss too if you got rid of the dogs. I think ear plugs are a good idea.

 

Try to think about things you like about the dogs.

 

I know you don't want to take the k anymore. I don't either. I want a normal life and relax like my family does. If we are patient it will be back.

 

Pam

[[mi...]]

Mishi,

 

Welcome back to NY.

 

I'm in NY as well. You made it!

 

I agree with Bev. Why give up your pets? Don't let this pill do that. I have 2 dogs and a cat. They are helpful companions. I know it's hard to focus on other things sometimes, but giving them up isn't going to help.

 

And simply stopping your klonopin doses is also a very bad idea!  If you think you feel dreadful now, just imagine how awful you would feel if you went cold turkey.

 

Thank you sigma.  Where are you in new york.  I am feeling so awful right now.  the no sleeping. No stability. Yes it is the dogs barking and me alslo having insomnia so bad....  The securtiy i need so much right now.  My son is distant.  My hubby cannot take agrivation.  I cannot take the next cut with the withdrawals, no sleep.  Afraid of losing my mind during the taper and after from the K.  Not literally losing my mind.  You know, What the k will do to me while i am cutting and after.  Everyone will leave me I am telling you. No one understands this monster inside of me  I cannot go on and hide this anymore.. It hurts to much.. I will terrify my family.. I do not want that.Also who is so positive that you can acutally make it thru this horrific ordeal  I  suffer inside for me and my family.. Cannnot be to honest with my hubby.  I am afraid he will hate me...It is to much for anyone.  I do not know what to do with myself to get rid of this K. Accept what I am doing right now.  It is not enough  Please tell me what to do.  Mishi 

 

Bev is correct.

Mishi, I stopped 5mg of Klonopin c/t once, and it was pure and utter hell.

You will get through this Mishi.. just hang in there and take it a step at a time.

I think you focus too much on the next day or in the future..

Live in the now.

If you feel like you're going to harm yourself, please seek help.

 

S#

[[mi...]]

Mishi, Hi there, you will be ok. Why dont you let things settle down a bit? You only just got back to NY a few days ago, everybody needs a little time to readjust. You, your son, even your dogs. Remember you are healing and the feelings youre having are temporary. I understand how you are feeling, you had some really traumatic things happen to you. So did I. Maybe some of the fear you have is related to what happened in the past. That is understandable. I promise you those feelings and memories will fade. You wont forget them, but they wont terrorize you. They will just be part of the story. Your own story about how you found out how strong you are. The strength is in you. You will be ok. Your son will be ok too. My daughter was very worried about me. Shes seen everything that Ive gone thru, and she is ok. She has learned a lot about compassion. She is in college now and doing well. I think being back in NY will help you. Being around your family, which isnt always easy, will remind you why you are going thru this. Things will get so much better for you. Love, Colleen 

 

Hi coleen, I just wrote to Sigma. Thank you for you support.  Please tell Sigma thank you also.  I for to say thank you.  How are you feeling. My fear is real.  What is happening is real.  I have a way's to go before I finish... I am suppose to hush about the way i feel and what I am going thru...I am not sleeping at all for night in a row.  My taper and withdrawals and after will be way to much for me and my family.  I am not kidding.  Cannot suffer anymore.  Cannot make my sweet family suffer.  They will not be able to handle it... Coleen cannot be honest all the time with my family.  They will not be able to handle it, or will i Please understand.  Everyone who is going thru this suffers, I know  I feel for you and everyone here.  We all have our own families and everyone is different.  I AM AFRAID OF THIS K. NOW.  I hope to god i can taper.  And then so what even if I do what happens to me later. I refuse to take the protracted symptoms.  I know what it feels like when your mind is not right from this and your body is in pain... I took to much pain already.. Cannot take anymore.. My poor son.  I cannot look at him in the face.  Never mind when these withdrawals  start.  Also my daughter..... I want them so bad and want to live.  No one can promise me that NO ONE.  I NEED A PROMISE COLLEEN.  MY AUNT TOLD ME TODAY THAT I WILL NOT HAVE SUPPORT.  lOVE MISHI,  tHANK YOU AGAIN TAKE CARE 

[[mi...]]

Hi Mishi, good to see you made it home.

 

I understand a bit about your sleeping problems, my dog is great but my neighbors dogs are terrible sometimes and they're right outside my bedroom window 

I finally bought ear plugs and reach for them if I hear the dogs barking, maybe for now you can try some ear plugs till your sleep comes back, it really helped me a lot. Another thing to try is if someone could exercise the dogs in the evening and wear them out so they'll be calm at night.... just a couple suggestions to try...

 

I get cold too mishi, I shiver sometimes, it seems like our body doesn't regulate temperature well right now, that does get better though, it was a lot worse for me but now it's only once in awhile.

 

Hope you're feeling better soon

 

star

 

Hi star.  How are you Thank you for repliying back to me.I hope you are well.  I am strugling with my life right now so if i do not say the right words, forgive me.  The trama I had before is killing me.  The K is killing me.  I do not know if i am a fighter.  I have to be... Star i am really scared i cannot make this.  I do not want endure any more pain.. No one has seen me yet at my worst.  To scared to go there.  I pray i will make it and not alone.  You know how hard this is. It is a nightmare.  No one should have to suffer this way.  i want my family so much to understand and on the otherhand I cannot let anyone suffer with me. 

Hope you are feeling well and you are happy,  Sorry for the sad message. I cannot tell anyone anyomore it is not right.  Please understand I am terrifed.  I have two kids that i cannot tramatize them or my hubby.  I love them to much,.

CAN I DO THIS PLEASE TELL ME  LOVE YOU,  MISHI  TELL ME WHAT CAN I DO TO SLEEP  SO MANY NIGHTS.  I used to exercise now i cannot.l

[[mi...]]

Mishi, Hi there, you will be ok. Why dont you let things settle down a bit? You only just got back to NY a few days ago, everybody needs a little time to readjust. You, your son, even your dogs. Remember you are healing and the feelings youre having are temporary. I understand how you are feeling, you had some really traumatic things happen to you. So did I. Maybe some of the fear you have is related to what happened in the past. That is understandable. I promise you those feelings and memories will fade. You wont forget them, but they wont terrorize you. They will just be part of the story. Your own story about how you found out how strong you are. The strength is in you. You will be ok. Your son will be ok too. My daughter was very worried about me. Shes seen everything that Ive gone thru, and she is ok. She has learned a lot about compassion. She is in college now and doing well. I think being back in NY will help you. Being around your family, which isnt always easy, will remind you why you are going thru this. Things will get so much better for you. Love, Colleen 

 

I just wrote to everyone here. No one got my message.  I do not know where it is.

[[Be...]]

 

I just wrote to everyone here. No one got my message.  I do not know where it is.

 

Where did you write this message?

[[St...]]

 

Hi star.  How are you Thank you for repliying back to me.I hope you are well.  I am strugling with my life right now so if i do not say the right words, forgive me.   The trama I had before is killing me.  The K is killing me.  I do not know if i am a fighter.  I have to be... Star i am really scared i cannot make this.  I do not want endure any more pain.. No one has seen me yet at my worst.  To scared to go there.  I pray i will make it and not alone.  You know how hard this is. It is a nightmare.   No one should have to suffer this way.  i want my family so much to understand and on the otherhand I cannot let anyone suffer with me. 

Hope you are feeling well and you are happy,  Sorry for the sad message. I cannot tell anyone anyomore it is not right.  Please understand I am terrifed.  I have two kids that i cannot tramatize them or my hubby.  I love them to much,.

CAN I DO THIS PLEASE TELL ME  LOVE YOU,  MISHI  TELL ME WHAT CAN I DO TO SLEEP  SO MANY NIGHTS.  I used to exercise now i cannot.l

 

Mishi, try ear plugs to sleep better, it's worth a try, you need some healthy sleep. I'm willing to bet that the lack of sleep is causing a lot of your feelings right now and you'll feel better and able to cope if you just had some healthy sleep.