....TENSION....

[[Ci...]]

...on april 20th...i was taking .50mgs.

 

...i shot up to 1mg for one day.

 

..i then took .625mgs for four days.

 

..today/tonite...trying to take only .50 mgs.

 

...i looked at my monthly dosing schedule and saw where i have been dosing very erratically.  ...some days goin 7-8 hrs between doses...some times just 2 hrs....sometimes goin over 19 hrs without dosing.

 

...i have worked hard all day to dose about 6 hrs between each dose...and... am aiming to do the same from here on out.  ....i willl be settin an alarm clock to do so.

 

...the degree of TENSION that i have is beyond description....just totally beyond description.  ...maybe BB member would get it...but...sure couldn't explain it to anyone not goin off of a benzo.

 

...i figure that my havin been so erratic in my dosage amounts and times of dosin is what is causin much of this.  ...would this be fair to assume?

 

....when...oh...when does the TENSION go away?  ...i am struggling...strugglin...strugglin.  ...is this really healin?  ...gawd...i sure do hope so.    ....i just can't think right or feel things right when in this state.  ...my mind is goin everywhere.  ...my fears are magnified 1000 percent.  ...i can't even cry...i am so tense.

 

...i  know i have written bout tension before and pain...but...please...if anyone else knows what i am talkin bout...please reply.  ...this is tension that grips almost every muscle...but...in large part my back and butt.  ...will this ever end?  ...if i get on a consistent schedule...will it help?

 

..i feel like i am losin my mind here.  ...do you relate?

 

IS THIS ALL REALLY GONNA END?  ...what bout months aftah i get to zero?  ...i am terrified of gettin off this tiny little amount...so scared that for months thereaftah i am gonna have the pain and anxiety and panic and terror.  ...somebody please tell me this ends shortly aftah hittin zero!

 

thx so much for readin and respodin

 

-sam-

[[da...]]

Hi Sam...I have no experience with K but I know when I misses doses of Valium, am not accurate when splitting the pill or hold on too long my symptoms worsen.  I was told to take it 'as needed' originally at that's what I did.  I had no idea how badly I was messing up my brain by taking 2 doses one day then not taking any for several days... a half dose the next...did that for three years until I reached tolerance.  I actually had to start taking it every day to wean which has been more than difficult to say the least.  The lower I get the worse I feel and I too am terrified at what is going to happen when I hop off.  I just have to listen to others who have been through it that say it doesn't get any worse, other wise I would stay on it until I was licking the dust out of the bottom of the bottle which will only prolong the misery.

 

The tension, anxiety and fear are the worst for me also...have never felt anything like this is my life and I know you haven't either.  I hope others will chime in and reassure us...it's all I have at the moment!

 

hang in there...

Donna

[Guest [Si...]]

Sam,

 

When I was tapering Klonopin, and I missed a dose or added more to it, etc..

It did make my sx's a little worse.

if i get on a consistent schedule...will it help?

Yes.. I would think so to some degree.

 

I can also relate to Donna.

I missed a dose of 5mg Valium 2 or 3 days ago, and I could feel my sx's worsen a bit, but now it's smoothed out.. Of course when I make a cut.. I feel it on day 2, after that it smooths out. I just looked at it as making a cut.

I know when I misses doses of Valium, am not accurate when splitting the pill or hold on too long my symptoms worsen.

I can relate to all of this.

 

S#

[[Ta...]]

Hi,

Consistency is always best.

I couldn't cry for the first two months, but I didn't even notice that I wasn't. I didn't cry till one day, I felt a bit better, and it was such a relief.

The tension seems to be tied to anxiety for me, so when your anxiety lessens, your tension will too. Mild exercise like walking and trigger point massage helps me with my tension. I get the trigger point massage with acupuncture. I really look forward to these sessions.

When I feel really tense but don't have acupuncture the near future, I use a heating pad and meditate with the aid of a guided meditation (Bodhipaksa makes some good ones). For tension before bedtime, I take 100 to 250 mg of magnesium.

At my worst, (like this morning), I just spend time reading and writing on the laptop till my mind calms a bit.

This too shall pass!

Take care,

Tanya

[[ja...]]

Hang In there ..I know the tension is so bad.. ...Tension is a sxs I deal with alot..It has become so much more managable..I used hurt so bad in the neck,lower back and yes my butt, It was just so tight and awful also my calves suffer like there going to snap..I think you hit the nail on the head stay consistint ..Hang in there and know these awful sxs do seem to hit us hard but they also leave us..I understand no1 gets it at home same here and for many..But we do so when ever you feel so alone in this remember you have us ..We get it...Your friend jenny

[[Ci...]]

..thx jenny donna sigma tanya jaso...

 

...and to realize that you all know bout consistency and/or have experienced the tension and pain.

 

..it HELPS me greatly to know that others experience what i do or that you have.  ...i regret that you have...tho.

 

...i just THANK YOU...as i feel like i must be the only one experiencin this amount of tension....i had it back when i did a c/t...but...not since...or not til this past cut....well...have had it with nuther cut but not this severe.

 

...i thank you for your writin...you thoughtful and ecnouragin words...for your insight..for your sharing.

 

...i pray that each of you will just keep feelin better.    ...this most certainly is quite the ordeal.

 

..wish i could write more...but...am exhausted.  ...can't get to sleep...but headin back to bed soon to see if i can.

 

...wish i could do trigger point...just makes things worse....accupuncture did nothin for me.

 

...i feel less alone...will keep postin so continue to feel less alone and continue to get such great support.

 

..just really thank you all for takin the time to read my post and to reply to it.  ...you are truly speical folks.

 

...glad i am not the onlly one afraid to get off klonopin.  ...it is a very scary thought..isn't it donna?  ...gawd..we read bout how hard it is for folks at several months off and even years.  ..i would wear out if took me years.

 

-sam-

[[Ta...]]

I found the acupuncture took a few sessions to get the right combination of points, for me that was kidney and spleen points with a few lung points thrown in for good measure 

But it isn't for everyone.

If trigger point is still to hard, how about another kind of massage?

I get my hubby to give me foot massages when he isn't too tires from work. It's not that I have tension in my feet, but it still makes the other muscles relax a bit.

I get a lot of throat tension, and it can't be directly massaged. But if I can get myself to relax in general with other massages, it in turn relaxes those muscles too.

So sorry you are suffering so.

-Tanya

[[Ci...]]

i can't believe i am still awake....just can't sleep...but startin to feel very tired.  ...this ENMORMOUS tension is finally exhaustin me...plus fact that almost been up for 16 hrs.

 

tanya...thanks again.  ...i tried acupuncture for bout 4-6 sessions.  ...it killed me.  ...guess you would need to know that the pain has been with me for a long time....something very pinched in my back and when nerves are touched...i jump through the ceiling.  ...tried massage and PT and chiropractics.  ...all made me want to jump up off the table and scream.

 

oh...for a wonderful foot massage.  ...sometimes i massage my feet myself.  ...it does feel good and does settle me down a bit.

 

thanks for you kind words.

 

i hope you are fully recovered now.

 

-sam-

[[st...]]

Hi Sam,

 

Is it night where you live?  for me it's almost 7 pm now.

 

Try not to worry about not sleeping. Maybe if you don't think about it, it will be easier to fall asleep. Is your mind racing? try to think about good things, the blessings in your life, or just try to empty your mind of thoughts. You will sleep. 

 

 

 

[[Ci...]]

struggle...was most thoughtful of you to write to me.

 

i am wearing down...gonna stay up until time for me to dose...bout 45mins.

 

i try to think of good things...when i do...i end up feelin very down cuz what was good is not any more.  ..my mind is very slowed up at the moment.  ...commonly i am racin.  whew.

 

with your encouragement i will try to just go blank or to count my blessins.  ..it is hard cuz feel like i have lost so much and have.

 

but..i know there still is much to be thankful for.

 

thank you kind lady

 

-sam-

[[Fl...]]

I didn't specifically have tension, but I am all but sure that my erratic dosing with clonazepam put me in tolerance WD and made me feel like hell even when I was on the drug. No one explained to me that taking 1mg for several days then dropping down to .5mg for a few days might cause some problems. I had problems alright, but with the yo-yoing dosage and the long half life of the drug I didn't make the connection to what was causing it.