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DP/DR reassurance please


[88...]

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I’m at 18 months and my DP only seems to get worse and worse. It’s chilling and I constantly wonder if I’m going insane. I seem functional and actually better than I’ve been to other people but I’m constantly terrified.

 

I know this is a typical symptom and it goes away but oh my God I could use some reassurance from someone who’s survived it.

 

It feels larger than life, spiritual, way way way too intense for a normal person to tolerate. Thank you.

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Do you feel like you are trapped somewhere deep inside your brain disconnected from your body or the world and just looking out at it all in terror?

Do you have altered tactile sensations so even touch of biecys feels unreal and touching body is unreal and disconnected?

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Hi 88,

 

Have you had any dietary, medication, or supplement changes that could be contributing to how you feel?  I know for me that something as simple as caffeine will spike my DP/DR, so even though it is commonly consumed throughout the world, I know for me that it is a 'no no'. 

 

I know these thoughts and feelings are disturbing, but they are nothing more than just that, thoughts and feelings.  If you can kind of relax into it and just float along and see it as 'ok' for now that certainly helps.  This is just a protection mechanism of our minds to block out stimulus, and it cannot hurt you no matter how off you may feel.  You are certainly not going crazy, and  you will not go crazy.  As I have been told by many counselors, people who are 'going crazy' are not able to contemplate that they are 'going crazy', they still think they are perfectly normal.

 

Cheers,

          RR

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The DP/DR is terrible.  This I know.  Disconnected from everything.  Stumbling through the haze.  Falling, crying.  Keep going, that's all I could do.  All that I said to myself.  It's so much better now at 16 months.  How the f did I do that!  We can.  And I was too f'd to do anything else. 

 

Was thinking that maybe it can worsen when emerging from the coma?  Re-entry into the world after so long away can be pretty scary.  This thing has been totally traumatic, and the buffers offered by DP/DR no longer there, lessening.  Wow!  I'm back, and I'm shit scared. 

 

Maybe we return the DP/DR because it's so scary to return to the world?  Idk

 

I've still got it, but soooo much better.  Being kind to myself has really helped. 

 

Just a thought.  Take it easy 88keys.  We will all get better one day at a time. 

 

Dee

:smitten:

 

 

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Hey,

 

I had DP/DR first when taking benzos + SSRI. It was so bad that one morning I couldn't recognize myself on the mirror. A week after I stopped benzos (I already stopped SSRI prior), I was camping and when I woke up I looked at my hand and I couldn't feel it as part of my body. That was insane. The months passed and I still suffered from feeling disconnected from the world, and most of all, from my feelings. I was hypersensitive before benzos, and I felt like a zombi not being able to connect to anything.

 

I'm right now at 10 months (EDIT: in fact, it'll be 1 year in 2 weeks. I don't count months anymore  :P ) out from benzos, and I still feel DP/DR at a lesser level. It's mostly when I'm anxious. Just like if my mind wanted to barricade itself because of fear. I think it was a shield I put on myself to protect me from very bad feelings, and it slowly became a prison where I withdraw myself from good feelings also.

 

You need to gain confidence in yourself. I think healing is a matter of being able to stay in the present, BUT it takes time to be able to to that. You have your own schedule  :) . If you are constantly switching between your past and your future, you won't be able to FEEL the present.

 

My DP/DR became to fade when I was able to enjoy the moment. I did tons of exercice in order to "force" this: yoga, meditation, breathing exercices, listing 5 things I could see, 4 things I could hear, 3 things I could touch, 2 things I could smell and 1 thing I could taste.

 

I have to say that for me, the big factor was gaining confidence in myself, so I could slowly reopen my ability to connect with myself and my surroundings.

 

After such a trauma, it definitely takes time. I'm not healed and the more I'm ruminating over this, the more I feel disconnected. I discovered that I was perflectly "connected" when I was busy with something I love. Writing for example. I would write write write and 2 hours after, noticing "hey! I feel fine!", and as soon as I notice this, DAMN, the DP/DR comes back  :P

 

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I've had this really bad, too, but it has lessened in time.

 

Search parker's posts. She had it really bad and was very descriptive about her experiences with it and what it looked like when she began to recover from it. It was her most pervasive and disturbing symptoms from what she said. I read her posts over and over when I was in the thick of it and it was very reassuring to me.

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It’s my worse symptom as well. I feel like it’s always there and worse in the mornings. Feels like everything around me is like unreal and dream like state. Heard is mental thing and doesn’t really hurt you but boy it’s scary and because of this I can’t go alone outside or drive alone as I think I will loose my mind or forget my way back to home. Are these normal feelings and do they get better ... I sure hope so ....
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It will get better! There was a time I would wake up and have to tell myself who I was and who my parents and grandparents were. I could hardly even write my own name. I would go to the free puzzle sites just to work my brain, my cognition was nearly gone. Now it only flares up when I have an anxiety episode, but it goes away much quicker. Just had one yesterday as a matter of fact. I'm finally starting to have some windows every couple days but this is not a linear healing. Ups and downs are part of the healing process and are actually required to heal. The only real way to deal with it is to accept everything and just say to yourself, It Will Get Better! I know how hard it is to believe such a thing, it took a very very long time for me. I used to drink heavily before by brain broke and I didn't think I would ever recover, but our bodies are amazingly good at healing, however for some it can take a loooong time. I kept my recovery from happening every time I stopped at the liquor store for a half pint or pint. I did finally stop drinking, it's been just about 9 months now, slightly longer since stopping Klonopin. I kept working but used almost all my vacation time the last couple years. I don't know how, but I was able to keep my job and now I'm even working in the field when required, which is something I thought I would never be able to do again. Don't get me wrong, I still have horrible anxiety some days that triggers the dissociated state of DP, but I'm usually able to no longer let it control me. Your subconscious mind is like an 8 year old that doesn't know any better and is only trying to protect you. You have to convince that 8 year old that there is no threat by practicing not following thoughts and accepting your feelings (Withdrawal Symptoms) and it will start to lessen.

 

Trust That It Will Get Better!!!

 

Check out a guy called Wonderbro from Vacate Fear on YouTube. Excellent stuff!

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You know you are not processing correctly which I think is important. When I was deep in the ditch, I would remind myself that the things I was thinking, seeing, hearing were incorrect. They often felt real, but I just kept reminding myself that my brain was misfiring, and that did help.

 

At 10 months off, it is rare that I have DP/DR. There are a few flashes from time to time, but most of the time I am grounded. So, it did get better for me, and although you are further out, I do think that you will have healing and see DP/DR space out and go away.

 

In the meantime, it does help to talk here. So many of us have had or currently have DP/DR, so the things you mention will make sense. And, hopefully it will be the supportive people who check in when you need support and reassurance. If, by chance, a nut job posts in response, just blow that off. It's NOT you when someone has all the answers to very difficult questions.

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I had terrible DR and DP.  One time I was so terrified at night when this happened I was sure I would never wake up again. I did, and I am here. I still have a high level of anxiety and many physical symptoms , but the DR and DP have passed. Just keep reminding yourself that your brain and nervous system are just playing tricks with you.  Tell yourself that you are here, you are real, you will be OK.  If you have a religious faith, prayer may help.  If you have a family member or partner, ask to be held, tell them that you have high anxiety and are frightened.  Hold on, this should pass.  Mine did.  I am back and fighting the symptoms I still have.
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