How do i keep going like this?

[Guest [pe...]]

I have no idea why I am so severe at 17 months out.  I know the Remeron is probably making things worse but even before that in month 8, I was out of my mind psychotic. 

 

My mental symptoms are 24/7 and I can never distract from them.  Brain racing 1000 miles an hour with just random thoughts/things I don't want to be thinking about.  Brain latching and looping on things that don't matter but my brain won't let them go.

 

I just typed out a long message which got timed out and now my brain is freaking out and looping that it is lost forever and I need to type this new message out exactly the same.

 

Severe OCD symptoms.  I am so hyperaware of my mind that I can feel the thoughts moving, sticking, and looping in my brain.

 

I don't know if I should CT this Remeron, switch to an SSRI for OCD, or keep tapering.

 

I have severe terror, fear, and akathisia. 

 

Brain racing with things I read and watch from hours or days prior like there is no filter in my mind.

 

Horrible short term memory problems.

 

Constant negative thinking and ruminating and worrying.

 

I will forget something from a few seconds or minutes ago and my brain will latch on and loop.

 

I don't know how much longer I can do this.

 

Is it possible to recover from being this severe?

 

Please respond.

[Guest [pe...]]

I don't even think people that have OCD experience anything like this?

 

Could something else be going on?