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Has anyone lost friends through this don't know what to do?


[le...]

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A friend of 40 years has refused to speak to me because of this. I said at times felt ver alone and had periods wish I wasn't here. She acted very defensively said she'd always been supportive and didn't need to hear I wanted cut my wrists which wasn't what I said at all. Has basically twisted every text I've said and told me need to pull myself together. Both said unpleasant things. Last saw them Feb I didn't go as wasn't great at time but husband said she was quite nasty about me. Have repeatedly tried get her to meet up or talk on phone won't reply to any texts. My husband know her husband over 40 years tried texting him so they at least could stay friends but he's blanked me to. Was told I've alienated everyone who ever loved me. Feel very hurt husband thinks she's got lot issues for years was convinced husband was having affair she's very overweight husband caught her binge eating last time saw them. Her daughter got issues Idid say hope she was more sympathetic towards her shouldn't said it I know but was upset, got accused of saying she didn't love her daughter etc etcIs Is it time to stop trying. As just get more upset when keep getting reject got accused of being vindictive and nasty.
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[94...]

Yes! I lost a so called friend in the end of february. I had support her thru her bws and she started to feel better, started to get mean to me and said stupid evil things. Then one day she turned my back.

She just stopped answer my texts one day. I tried to reach out to her and ask whats happend. She didnt respond. After a few days she said I dont need you anymore. And I am not gonna tell you why. It was heartbreaking. When we both was sick we talked every day. In the beginning i missed her a lot. Now I dont care about her. 

 

Karma will get her.  

A true friend dosent do like that...😭

 

I dont want a person like that in my life so she is just waste for me. Such a awful person that needed my support and do like this. I am sick in bws and a brain tumor. Got my diagnose in january this year.

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Hi Leann,

 

Terribly sorry to hear this. its always a struggle to lose friends. especially when they arent mature enough to hash it out. i have lost a plethora of friends. some i have known for over 25 years. Not all of which i will take responsibility for though.

 

What i find is people offer help not expecting people to take them up on it or not to the degree they expected. Then, when they have no idea how to help they use that same bullsh** comment about "you are alienating people and need to pull it together" what they dont understand, is if you talking to them makes them that miserable, how do they think that you feel? you are only conveying what you are feeling but then you get acosted for it.

 

I had a friend who saw me through a couple break ups and during one she took 2 messages before saying "you need to get help" mind you that was 2 text messages i sent explaining i was struggling and not 2 hour long phone calls (like we did in the past).

 

Once people arent able to help they write you off because they dont have the time to help and (though they wont admit) get offended that you are so miserable and feel that they would have got it together if they were in your shoes. then they start to look down on you.

 

i have a close friend who wont talk to me and refuses to explain why he is mad to begin with. total silent treatment. no happy holidays, no thank you for the $400 i sent for his destination wedding i couldnt make (non benzo related reasons). its irks me because we were so close.

 

there are also external factors in their life (kind like what you mentioned) that causes people to go sideways. all that is completely out of your control, but you are paying the price for it and its painful.

 

all you can do is let time pass. you cant make them answer you. youre not their boss and they have already served their purpose in your life.

 

crack on my friend. you deserve better.

 

 

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Thanks for the replies good to know I'm not the only one. You are right I don't need people like that in my life but it is hard when you get rejected. I do think she is very insecure, her whole life is grandchildren, she is very overweight but keeps saying doesn't eat much, never takes any exercise. Sounds horrible but hope one day she goes through something like this. Just fee responsible for breaking up my husband's friendship with her husband when it is nothing to do with them. Luckily most people have been very supportive.Ieven printed off the explanation on here that explains what happens to our brains just got ignored.
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