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I don’t want to live like this anymore.


[Kr...]

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Hello all,

 

I started taking Xanax when I was about 17 and smoking weed at 14. I had heard about it from friends in school but was never inclined been inclined to take until my parents got divorced. I started taking more and more incrementally until I was very addicted. I was highly addicted to Xanax all throughout 2016 & 17 until Christmas time 2017 when I tried to stop cold turkey and had a seizure. After that I went to rehab and got clean (from just xanax I was still smoking weed everyday) for several weeks and then I started taking Xanax again here and there. I still take it every now and then and I’m not addicted to it anymore but I still think about it all the time. I’m a pretty big pothead too and smoke weed everyday but I’m trying to stop that as well. I really do want to be clean and sober, drugs have ruined so many relationships for me. I just don’t know how to stop thinking about Xanax and weed. Part of me still doesn’t feel the same after being addicted even though it’s been 3 years. Is anyone else experiencing anything similar?? If so what worked for you??

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Hello Krazytacos420 and Welcome to BenzoBuddies! 

 

Glad you found us and glad you want to quit Xanax.  I understand you've tried to quit before and found it really difficult.  Quitting can be a rough road no doubt about it but as you know staying on benzos is much worse. This forum makes a huge difference for many - you'll find good information about withdrawal methods and support from other members who really understand what this process is like. 

 

We will be able to help you better if you tell us more about your current use, what dose, how often, etc.

 

Take your time to explore the site.  Here are links you can start with:

Planning Your Withdrawal (Taper Plans)

 

Withdrawal Support (during your taper)

 

It's really great you're reaching out for support - please keep reaching out.

 

We're glad you're here!

Brighterday  :)

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When I buy some it’s really hard for me to have control with it, last time I used was several days ago and I took 4 mgs. I’ve been using less since this whole quarantine thing started but I’ve been starting to use more frequently since everything has been reopening. I think about Xanax and weed constantly when I don’t have it and I try not to but I still do.
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Hello Krazytacos420,

 

Did you experience withdrawal symptoms when you quit the Xanax, this is what keeps many from wanting to take it again once they are finally free from it, the pain we experience is like no other. 

 

I would caution you with this, the body remembers each time we start and stop the drug and it can become increasingly difficult and painful to stop it again, so please consider stopping it all together so you won't have to face what most of us feel is the worst thing we've ever gone through.

 

My suggestion for controlling your use when you buy the Xanax is not to buy it.  It sounds like you could benefit from NA, have you attended any meetings, in person or remotely?

 

Pamster

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Hi,

 

Its not easy dealing with cravings. A someone with additcive issues it was important for me to to do some self reflextion and fiqure out the cause of my use then try to put steps together to improve the situation. Routine and distraction are important. Slowly you become stronger and the cravings weaken. You do need to keep and eye on it and as its not dificult to go backwards. Its a journey not a destination.

 

Andrew

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NA may be helpful for the weed but not the pills. I went to an NA meeting for benzo help long before finding this board and it was mostly people struggling with meth and heroin. Though they go through withdrawal as well, its not the same drug you need help with. Try finding a PA (Pills Anonymous) meeting. i havent been to one yet but was recently told that PA actually exists

 

Are you sure you went to rehab? because im lost how you could continue to blaze while in conventional "rehab" Were you just going to meetings at a set time every week? Though you seemed to have picked up old habits, did you find your "rehab" helpful?

 

Do you have a therapist? I would find an addiction, chemical, or dependency specialist if i was you. People find chemicals for various reasons but i think they stay on out of routine. breaking that routine is tough. Just today i had an incident where i wanted to take a benzo and walked to the spot i keep them purely out of routine. thankfully i moved them 2 weeks ago when i noticed that this first happened so i could break that routine all together and teach my mind and body something else.

 

As someone said before me, if you cant control it dont bother buying or them. you can ask 100 different ways "what if i do this, what if i do that"....the answer is no. drop them like 1st period english and get on with your life. trust me, the 10 year older version of you will thank you

 

and people do withdrawal from weed. not nearly as bad but i have had stoner friends who were tired of being such stoners and when they came off they struggled with irritability because they couldnt smoke to take the edge off.

 

i wish you the best of luck buddy! you can get your life back.

 

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